self-esteem issues with new boyfriend Posted: 01-16-08 07:22am
I don't know if I haver posted this in the
right place if not sorry. i know this may
seem crazy to some, but this is a huge
issue for me. Alittle about my back ground
so you may understand more. I was married
for 20years, the last 6 my husband became
a mean, angry acholoic. He ended up
commiting sucide infront of me and our
daughter. He tore alot of things up around
the house in his fits. I have alot of self
esteme issues. I always took care of the $
and bill's. i bascially took care of
everything. I met a man a few months after
my x passed. i wasn't looking it just
happened. We have been together every
since and he moved in nearly a month ago.
Everything is going great except in the $
department. i bought new doors for the
house and he installed them in for me,
last weekend he went and bought new
lights, even though I asked him not to, I
told him i was having trouble with him
wanting to buy things and fix my house up.
He told me i better get use to it. I ended
up in the bathroom crying and on the phone
to my daughter, which laughed and said I
was being silly and that I needed to look
at it as not being just my house anymore
but both of our house cause he lives
there. Do I just need to let go and let
him do this? I just feel like I'm loosing
some control and i'm not one that likes
changes to well. Sorry if this is long and
I hope someone can give me some advice.
Thanks for listening.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Posts: 649 Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Posted: 01-17-08 11:46am
well all i can think is if your ex caused
you soo much bother. some change isnt a
bad thing. it might be hard to watch but
this guy might actually help you recover.
you need to be willing to change things
though and start a new life not just for
your familys sake but for you. this has
obv mess with our head and would do the
same for anyone witnissing that.
to be honest i think you might like the
changes. even if it is just a door or a
few lights or a lick of paint. try it. if
it doesnt work then say to him he shood
understand. but you cant enjoy the things
you dnt do.
hope it helped a little bit.
xxxxxx
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kymm
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 30 Location: AR,
Posted: 01-18-08 21:40pm
thank you for taking the time to listen
and respond.
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 66 Location: New York, USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-20-08 12:00pm
I think he is just trying to be helpful
since you let him into your home. Maybe he
wants to fix up some things around your
house so you might get a little away from
your part.
I did not get the thing about "Everything
is going great except in the $
department."
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