I just found out I have a five year old son Posted: 01-17-08 16:09pm
So the story goes, about 6 years ago I was
with a woman for a period of 2 weeks . I
was homeless at the time and she offered
me a place to stay. She had just recently
broke up with her boyfriend who beat her,
we got together 1 or 2 times; then I
discovered she had gotten back together
with him and so I stopped contacting her.
She moved to another town shortly after
and all contact was lost with her. About
2 years ago I recieved a letter from the
state asking for a paternity test, I was
found to be the father of this child.
What I am asking is what would be the
right thing to do, I obviously am trying
to set up arrangements to see him asap. I
dont know what to feel though, I am not
really in a spot to be a daddy.
Regardless I know that if you play around
, then be prepared for the outcome, it was
just a shock to find out years later. It
is hard to get good advice as it seems no
one has been in this situation before that
I know, i cannot find any information
online for help. I want to be his dad,
but where do I start, I already missed 5
of his birthdays and feel horrible. Any
advice would be greatly appreciated
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 01-17-08 16:21pm
It is not your fault you missed 5 of his
birthdays. You had NO idea that you had a
son. Just try your best to be there for
him. When you meet up with him, talk to
him and get to know him. Find out the
things he likes and doesn't like, and
maybe take part in certain activities in
his life that you find out that he does
like. Kids at the age of 5-6 are still
very easy to accept new things into their
lives, so I'm sure he would be glad to
accept you into his life as his father.
That is great you are stepping up and
trying your best to be there for him
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 817 Location: Somewhere out there
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-17-08 16:46pm
you sound like you'll be a pretty good dad
already, because you are trying to do the
right thing and seem like you want to be a
part of his life
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 01-17-08 20:07pm
You shouldn't feel horrible. You were
left out of your son's life, you didn't
miss it. It's never too late to start,
though.
My advice: Slowly and delicately build a
friendship with your son. If you give him
time to know you and get used to the
difference in his life, it will be easy to
bond as father and son.
You sound like a good man and headed in
the right direction. Get to know your son
and be there as best you can from now on.
In time the bond between you and him will
grow, at first it might be very hard on
the both of you, stay patient if thats the
case. Its never easy at
first in this type of situation, goodluck
to you.
Its never easy at
first in this type of situation, goodluck
to you.