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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004
Posts: 1436
Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
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My Babys Last Name, Pls Help!!!
Posted: 04-26-04 10:35am
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K, I talked to ryan the other day (the
dad) and he all the sudden wants his last
name involved. (its rodreiguz) he said we
could hyphenate it.....Well I tohught it
sounded okay.. I guess. .Sense it is his
too. .But my whole family thinks I should
not do it because he hasnt been here for
me throughout this pregnancy and hes just
now started callin and stuff only for the
past 1 1/2 months outta almost 6 1/2.....
I havent even seen him in almost 6
months.. And my family is like "what if
he turns out to be a dead-beat dad like u
thought and doesnt come around.. Then he
has his last name and yours".. Then he
would have to keep that name and use it on
anything legal.. License etc... And its
pretty hard to take off a last name and
its expensive ive looked it up.. I mean
hes been a jerk for most this pregnancy..
So I was thinking I would tell him that he
hast been around and hasnt been trying,
and if when the baby is here he shows hes
bein a good dad and will be around his
son, then I will add it.. I am afraid to
add it the day hes born, then ryan never
even be around and he'd have to be 'carson
matthew oxley-rodreiguz (i think im namin
him carson, not sure yet tho)... I feel
bad at the same time tho to tell him but
its not like hes been makin any big
efforts cept callin every few
weeks....What do u think? Thanks!!
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Posts: 1473
Location: Canada
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Posted: 04-26-04 10:37am
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I think you should use ur last name.
Since he hasnt been around all this time.
If I had a baby I would give it my last
name even if I was still with the dad.
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004
Posts: 1436
Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
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Posted: 04-26-04 10:40am
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Yea well either way I will use mine.. He
wants me to use both tho and hyphenate it
(mines oxley, his is rodreiguz). . But I
think I wanna use just mine..
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bellax0femmina
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 823
Location: New Jersey
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Posted: 04-26-04 10:42am
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Dont be scared girlie! If thats wht you
want then thats what you should do! This
baby will be yours and only yours for his
whole life, but you never know about the
dads.. So do whats in your heart! Good
luck!
<3
gaby
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Posts: 1473
Location: Canada
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Posted: 04-26-04 11:10am
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It all depends on what you want for ur
baby boy. Like gaby said you will always
be in his life no matter what. The dad
might not be. Do whatever feels
comtable(sp?) with you. Even tho he is
ryan is the father that doesnt mean a
thing!!
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smith8500
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6623
Location: Louisiana
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Hey Chica
Posted: 04-26-04 11:16am
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Kari,
this is a very tough call. Think of these
things
#1: do not make any permant decisions
right now!
#2: do you think he'll be there after the
lil one is born? How sure are you? 50%?
100%? 85%
#3: what do you want? Do you want him to
have only your last name orhis fathers
too?
Make no decision yet! Think it out. Talk
to him. Talk to your family! Be sure
before you do it!
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004
Posts: 1436
Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
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Posted: 04-26-04 11:28am
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Honestly I think I feel like theres a
50/50% chance he will be there. . Iknow
he will be around somewhat.. But I dont
know about bein a full time father.. I
dont know how often ya know.. I dont
think I should give him both names right
away, till after I see that ryan will be
around and be a full time dad and
honestly, I dont know if he will be a good
father.. He hasnt proved that to me at
all.. But I dont wanna be a bad person
for not letting his baby too have his name
too.. (thats what he would think ya
know?)
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babyrae
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Posts: 2957
Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Posted: 04-26-04 12:28pm
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I say dont use his last name. Why give
him that special privelage when u've had
to o this on ur own snce the beginning and
now that u only have about 3 months left,
he suddenly wants somethin outta it? It
can also start up a huge legal battle
afterwards (thats what happened to my
friend who chose the dads last name and
they broke up... Crazy story tho) but I
say, if hes there after a year or two and
u feel hes doing god, then add on the last
name and hyphenate it to what u would and
that would work out for the better. But
whatever u decide for your baby is best,
this is just an opnion 
shauna
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mumof2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Posts: 307
Location: Australia
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Posted: 04-26-04 14:33pm
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Why not use it as a second middle name, so
'carson matthew rodreiguz oxley, that way
his name is still involved, but at school,
work and even most official paper work he
would just be known as carson .M. Oxley.
Cause the second middle name is rarely
noticed and checked, and if he turns out
to be a dead beat dad then the boy isnt
stuck using his name.
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allusivepond
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 452
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Posted: 04-26-04 15:30pm
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If it was me I would use his name, only
because even tho u will be there forever
and even if he doesnt want to be a part of
the bubbys life in the beginning when
bubby grows up he might want to and I
think that he should be given the chance
to decide when the time is right.
Even tho im not married I just live with
my bf, if we had a child I would use his
last name instead of my own, actually I
refer to myself as mrs abell on most
things anyway so I dont think it matter.
From someone who cant wait to have a
jellybean all of their own
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004
Posts: 1436
Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
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Posted: 04-26-04 20:05pm
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Ok thank you so much everyone for your
opinions! I think ive decided to use my
own, then wait till the baby is born and
if hes around a while and shows hes going
to , then I will add it. I mean either
way I was planning on using mine.. Its
just I wanna be sure he will actually be a
father to him first, and as of now, I
really dont know....Guess i'll have to
break it to him...
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PregnaJordan
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2003
Posts: 2908
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Posted: 04-27-04 00:15am
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If chris ever called me and said he wanted
his name on the birth certificate I would
tell his ass to rot in he ll~
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SEXYCHIC
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2004
Posts: 54
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Posted: 04-27-04 03:14am
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Last edited by SEXYCHIC on 06-16-04 17:24pm; edited 1 time in total
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4922
Location: Right here at work!
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Posted: 04-27-04 03:34am
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Kari if he is being a dead beat through
the pregnancy hes only showing you a
sample of what he will be when the baby is
there. Seriously you should not put his
name in, he doesnt deserve it! My sisters
ex was talking like that and she thought
about it, then she changed her mind and
left it martinez and hes such a deat beat!
All he wanted was for her to have his
last name and hes only seen her like 4
times her whole life! And shes gonna be 2
in oct. He knows nothing about her and
doesnt deserve to know a great lil girl.
Your guy doesnt either, just because he
calls a few times doesnt mean you should
jump at his wishes. Maybe if he proved
hed be a great father then you can think
about it, but hes a jerk so dont give him
that benefit.
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lee25
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 1018
Location: new york
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Posted: 04-27-04 03:38am
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Are you going to have him there at the
hospital. Because where I had my baby at
my husband had too sign stating that he
was the the dad. If he's not there I
don't that you could just put his last
name. But then again every state is
different.
Brenda
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Alexa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 101
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Posted: 04-27-04 04:16am
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I'm sorry but did you spelled his last
name correctly?? Is it rodreiguz or
rodriguez?? 
Just curiosity!! 
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PregnaJordan
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2003
Posts: 2908
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Posted: 04-27-04 04:16am
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Im pretty sure she knows how to spell
it...Lol
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Alexa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 101
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Posted: 04-27-04 04:28am
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| pregnajordan
wrote: | | im pretty sure she knows how
to spell it...Lol |
i was just asking!! 
cuz I found rodreiguz kind of strange so
I thought it could maybe be rodriguez.I'm
a rodriguez and have seen it mispelled
like that cuz it's a spanish name
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azmom27
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 12
Location: Arizona
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Posted: 04-27-04 06:04am
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You do what you feel is the best interest
of your baby. My son carries my last name
(now 12) and he ask would always ask me
why he doesnt have his dads last name. I
tell him that if his father was a good
father then he would of took care of his
responsibility and help raised him. I
would always tell him that I saved that
decision for him to add or change his last
name if he wanted to. Cause I didnt want
him to tell me later if I was to name him
after his dad why did you name after
someone who hasnt been there for me. He
now thanks me for not giving him that
name.
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PregnaJordan
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2003
Posts: 2908
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Posted: 04-27-04 07:03am
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Alexa, watch me wind up looking like the
stupid one b/c she may have misspelled
it..Im quick to jump the gun
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