Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 936 Location: Phoenix, AZ
I Know What It's Like to Want to Die. How It Hurts to Smile. Posted: 04-26-04 14:45pm
...How you try to fit in but you can't.
How you hurt yourself on the outside to
try to kill the thing on the inside."
.....
I give up, I can’t eat like a normal
person, I just can’t do it. Every damn
time I try, this voice in my head sends me
straight into the bathroom leaning over a
toilet and I find myself lying there
crying my eyes out afterward. Today at
work this new girl that just started
today, she is my trainee, walked in on me
sitting there crying. I never would have
thought I would start purging, all I ever
used to do was restrict but lately the
more I try to become “normal” the heavier
I feel and the more I want to cry and the
faster I run to the bathroom to get “rid”
of it. I know I must sound so pathetic to
all of you, but I would be much better off
restricting and feeling happy with myself
then eating and feeling like this. I am
sorry I just needed to vent, this post
really requires not response, I just can’t
tell my family or mike, they would be so
disappointed in me but I needed to get it
off my chest.
Megan
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 04-26-04 20:19pm
Im really sorry hun.. U know ive been
there. . Please read the post I just
posted to blu's post about her obsession..
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 04-27-04 01:52am
Megan, I am sorry that you are going
through all this right now. And I am
sorry that she walked in on you, but maybe
it was for the better. Please hang in
there. I have never talked to you, maybe
I should call you.. I am praying for you.
Love, stacie
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SEXYCHIC
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 04-27-04 03:13am
Blank
Last edited by SEXYCHIC on 06-16-04 17:34pm; edited 1 time in total
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 04-27-04 04:34am
Meg-i am so sorry to hear that you're
going through this you
are not pathetic at all-you are a great
person & this is something you're
going through which will take a lot of
time, energy & strength to get
through. I am so thinking of you right
now-we're all here for you so never feel
alone.
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HomecomingQueen2003
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 936 Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posted: 04-27-04 05:46am
Thanks girls
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mommabear16
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 1222 Location: illinois
Posted: 04-27-04 05:50am
Megan, you are one of the sweetest people
on here...Your definatly on my top five
nicest people I know list. I love you
lots!!!!!
Yes, I know how it feels too. But I
always have to smile, because I have to
make my friends always feel good...Even if
it hurts.
you
are not pathetic at all-you are a great
person & this is something you're
going through which will take a lot of
time, energy & strength to get
through. I am so thinking of you right
now-we're all here for you so never feel
alone.