I'm so confused about this girl! Posted: 01-22-08 18:07pm
Hi everyone, I really need some help on
this! There's a girl that I like very very
much but I can't find a way to tell her
that. To me, she's the sweetest, most
incredible girl I've ever met. We've been
working in the same office for about six
months. At first I just liked her as a
colleague but I gradually fell in love
with her. After a month or so she was
pretty much all I could think about.
I'm rather shy around girls, which has
bothered me for quite a while (I'm 22).
I've never dared to ask a girl for a date,
but this girl is so sweet that I went out
of my way for her. I tried to make eye
contact, smiled at her a lot and talked to
her whenever possible. She's a little shy
too but I have the impression that she
likes me as well, always giving me those
breathtaking smiles. So one day I got over
my nervousness and after work I asked her
if she wanted to grab a bite to eat with
me. She said yes and that day I felt like
the happiest person on the planet. We had
dinner together, talked a lot and shared
things that I think neither of us would
tell a "just workmates" friend (family,
things we like, dreams).
So far, so good. After that I asked her
out several times. We went out for two
more dinners and had wonderful
conversations. But two or three other
times she said no, saying she wanted to
study (we're both in college) or that she
was too tired to do anything. That really
got me confused because she did seem to
flirt with me sometimes. And that body
language stuff like playing with her hair,
showing her palms, making eye contact for
just a second longer - it was all there,
especially when nobody else was around.
And again, that smile! I did the same to
let her know how much I like her. At other
times she's more distant, still friendly
but nothing more. That always takes me
aback and I'm still so nervous to ask her
out to a movie or anything. I can't figure
her out and I just wonder what I'm doing
wrong?! Don't I try hard enough, or too
hard, or am I just over-analyzing this?
Two months ago she went back to college
and now I see her only one day a week,
missing her on the other six. I still
haven't given up because whenever I see
her I'm so happy and I'm still hoping she
could be my girlfriend. But then, I don't
want to be pushy. Like me, she's not a
very outgoing person and she's from a
different culture originally so I figure
she may need to know me better before she
trusts me.
Any thoughts/advice? I'm thankful for any
help folks!
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 93 Location: New York, USA
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-23-08 07:33am
If you would like to see if she really has
the feeling for you, buy her a flowers on
St. Valentines day (better if someone
delivers it to her, but don't forget to
put your name on the card) and then ask
her out.
Keep contact with her, and get with her
whenever possible. Then yea, like
unnamedny said, do something sweet on
valentines day. I wouldn't do anything
outrageous because well, you aren't
officially going out with her yet. But
maybe ask her if she wants to be your
valentine or something silly like that.
I wish you the best with her!
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Sandwichfreak
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 01-24-08 16:31pm
Thanks unnamedny and Whaturmuva. I'm
trying to take every opportunity to keep
contact with her. But I'm kind of insecure
about calling her or texting her because I
know how annoying it is when someone keeps
doing that. I thought about St.
Valentine's day too, and I'd really like
to send her flowers with a small gift. I'm
nervous about that too but I've had some
practice in ignoring my fears lately Hope that'll catch
her attention so she gives me some kind of
clear signal.
It's strange how being friends with this
girl is so smooth and easy, but going
beyond that is so hard to do. Well I'll
see what Feb 14 brings.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-24-08 16:56pm
I think you should try not to focus on her
so much, and stop analysing her body
language - you are probably freaking her
out a bit and you sound rather intense.
She has given you all the signs that she
likes you BUT that she has other things to
do, too (like college work) and so should
you.
If you want my advice, I would just be a
tiny bit unavailable sometimes. I would
busy myself with a new group or class or
something and let her know that you are a
complete, rounded and whole individual who
does not rely on her for your happiness!
Women like men who are self-sufficient and
reasonably confident - even if you aren't
like that, don't encourage her to see you
as a clinging vine!
By the way, there is nothing wrong with an
odd text now and again to keep you in her
thoughts, but keep it light-hearted.
As for flowers on Valentine's Day? Hmmm
... why not give her something fun, and
quirky, and not potentially embarrassing?
Something that friends would give to each
other. Suggestions, anyone?
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Sandwichfreak
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 01-24-08 17:54pm
Yeah I guess I take this a little too
seriously. I can't get her off my mind.
Actually I do things like working out,
learning a foreign language and meeting
friends to distract myself. I'm going back
to college in two weeks. That is good
because it'll keep me busy and she's going
to that college as well. So we could meet
each other there, maybe have lunch
together...
Hope that'll catch
her attention so she gives me some kind of
clear signal.
