Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
got fired today and not sure anymore Posted: 01-22-08 21:57pm
it's like i woke up one day and i was bp.
then the meds. now the med issues. i'm so
confused. disillusioned. lost. one of my
biggest fears was losing my job... and
here it is. why? why does it have to be
like this? i tried so hard but it didn't
matter in the end. my husband is at his
breaking point with me. i try with our
marriage, too. i'm tired of it all. this
mess. this back and forth. i'm not the
person i thought i would be. i've always
dealt... even after breakdowns through the
years. i don't know how much more i can
handle. i'm getting it from everywhere. i
don't even know what i feel right now.
indescribable
i have one week to get unemployment,
insurance switched to husbands and to find
another job to f-up. what is the point?
people keep telling me that i have a
choice in how i deal. but my brain isn't
easily convinced. i talk to myself and try
to reason with myself into sanity. my
brain won't listen. what can i do? what
can the world expect me to do?
i don't feel sorry for myself in case
anyone is wondering, as my husband has
said... 'just don't sit around feeling
sorry for yourself'. that hurts and is
so easy to say. i am numb but my circuit
is overloaded??? wish i had a shut down
button or at least a sleep mode. i'm tired
of myself, the way i hurt the people i
love by being ill.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 01-23-08 16:39pm
feeling better. life goes on. and i have a
new husband and household to run. i'll
find another job. i'm sure it's for the
best. i might be saying this now because i
am heavily sedated. most would be in a
coma, haha. not really funny.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 01-23-08 16:40pm
hmmm, i just supported myself. thanks me
=)
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gatorgirl01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 16 Location: ,
Posted: 01-23-08 19:38pm
sweetie.. im can totally relate to
everything you just wrote.. you feel
alone, when you know you have the
support.. your mind tells you one thing,
but your actions do another. cuz you cant
keep up with your own thoughts.. its like
a race your never goign to win.. im sorry
to hear about your job,, that hurts,im
sure.., and im sure that when your husband
tell you not to feel sorry for yourself..
it does not make you feel validated.. and
that is all we want sometimes. to know
that even at our weakest moments that we
have a hand to hold..
well here is my hand you can hold mine
until things get better, cuz they will,,,
like you said you have a husband and a
household to run...
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Junebug77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Midwest, USA,
Posted: 01-23-08 21:26pm
Hey...you've given me so much
support...let me return the favor. You're
right, life does go on. Losing your job
can be as minor or major as you let it be.
And bipolar or not...I think you are
always entitled to feel sorry for yourself
for a little while! You're only
human...I'm here for you!!
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 01-24-08 11:39am
ugh!!! i typed this big message for you
super-fly gals and it timed out on me and
i lost the whole dang thing!!! i have to
get moving... lots to do.
you both rock... xoxo thanks so much for
your support and understanding. i don't
feel so alone anymore. and i'll fill you
in more when i return to forum. i'll post
here.
hope you all are well.
puzzld
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the_colossus
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 6
Posted: 01-24-08 20:44pm
I know when something pretty bad happens I
get very emotional and feel awful. I try
to focus on the positives and that helps
and after a nights sleep I usually feel
alot better.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-24-08 20:57pm
I feel for you. It is hard enough holding
down a job when you have children and a
home to organise but with a medical
condition, too, it can all just seem too
much to deal with.
You are entitled to feel sorry for
yourself. Perhaps you do need to take a
little 'me' time before you go out looking
for another job. You should also think
about what you really want to do, as well
as what, practically speaking, you CAN do.
Do not overstretch yourself for now.
Adopt a calm and orderly approach to your
job-seeking and don't let finances or
anything else rush you into a bad
decision.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 02-01-08 11:31am
this sucks... really. i went on one
interview and it went well. they said they
would decide on the top 3 candidates and
let me know. could take up to 2 weeks! i
don't have two weeks... my insurance runs
out today! my mood is very very low and i
have bad thoughts right now.. trying to
keep things in perspective. husband can't
take on my debt along with his...
otherwise we'd be ok for a bit. i've
applied for unemployment but it will only
cover a little less than half of my
salary. my husband won't accept me having
a low right now. he says we don't have
time for that. duh. i was so sad and
distraught earlier i went to my med bowl
and held a bottle and just broke down. i
wanted to just eat them all but i
couldn't. i haven't been logged in here
for a while so i thought i should get on
because i'm not doing good.
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gatorgirl01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 16 Location: ,
Posted: 02-02-08 10:50am
before i even start to go into the whole
thing about work,... i just want to know
how are you doing?? stay strong.. have
faith.. Things will work out.. one door
closes another opens.. just dont stare at
the door that just closed cuz you will
never see the great wonderful things that
are about to happen in your life..
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BoneyardDiva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007 Posts: 72 Location: Nunya, USA
Posted: 02-03-08 21:07pm
Hang in there, puzzld. You're going to
find a new job...I know things seem dismal
now, but time will heal this wound.
Believe me, if I've learned anything of
life, this is true.
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Junebug77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Midwest, USA,
Posted: 02-05-08 00:00am
checking on you Puzz...How are you??
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 02-07-08 13:47pm
hey, thanks everyone.
honestly, i'm not good. i keep going down
down way down. i know it's situational on
top of illness but i can't reason with
myself or my husband. i have bad thoughts
all the time but i don't tell my husband
or family because i don't want to worry
them. i do look at pics of my family and
husband, nieces, nephews, etc. and that
keeps things from going too far. it just
seems to get worse the older i get. and i
thought that the meds are supposed to keep
me from these severe lows...?? i've been
isolating also.
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Go2extremes
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 43
Jobs & Legal Rights Posted: 02-08-08 07:59am
Puzzld, have you looked into your legal
rights being diagnosed with BP? you have
legal rights that your employer has to
adhere to if you are fired due to a mental
illness. There is protection, as it is
viewed as discrimination, there are
several law suits out there currently for
Bipolar employees who were wrongfully
fired. Look under the DBSA (depression
and Bipolar Alliance) I also can give you
names of lawyers and social workers that
specialize in mental illness and job
protection, if you are interested. There
is hope, I struggled with the thought of
losing my job, talking to these people
helped me know that there are people who
are on your side (legally) to protect you.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 02-08-08 10:49am
i thought about that but they have me
nailed so hard with my bad performance for
the last few months i was there. yes, it
was due to illness but not sure i can do
anything about it. my step-father is a
lawyer... guess i could ask him.
i welcome any and all advice on rights and
laws. i find it hard to understand that i
have to be employed while i'm sick and
just starting on meds and such. i feel
like i have sooo much pressure to be well
and to function and get a job. makes my
head spin more...
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 02-08-08 11:06am
Your state should have some sort of
department of health- find them online,
that might be a good place to start.
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Go2extremes
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 43
The Law & Discrimination Posted: 02-08-08 11:56am
Well it sounds like even if you hadn't
lost your job, you would still need to
take a leave of absence to get back on
track. If it were me, I would take this
opportunity to "get well' as best you can.
Then start looking into legal action you
can take, depending on your state rights.
People think that you have to have a car
accident or cancer in order to get
disbility at work or even LTD benifits if
that case is so severe. Thats simply not
the case anymore, knowing your rights,
will help you mind stay focused and feel
less helpless and in control with your
life and disorder. No company wants to
get slammed with a lawsuit like this. FYI-
an employee that had a similar situation
as you, got fired from Starbucks. He was
Bipolar and his lawsuit settled I believe
around 75,000. I don't know what kind of
work you are in but, you have rights... go
for it.
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2391 Location: ,
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
puzzld Posted: 02-08-08 17:38pm
I am so sorry to read all of this. I know
I have not been around alot and it is hard
to catch up on every forum. I feel for ya
girl. Been there and still am. Please
don't loose your streangh. Look at me. I
kept my BP a secret for over 30 years.
Went to see doc this morning wanting to
know if she could change my
anti-depressents cause I was loosing sleep
and now talking clearly in my sleep. She
nicely asked, "Have you ever been checked
for BP, you are a classic". Oh well, even
she picked up on it. I like you have had a
hard time all my life with social and
relationships ( 3 marriages) all ended
cause I in a flash decide to run away. I
am now as of today on Lamectal 100mg as a
starting dose at bedtime along with my
Lexepro. No more secret.
I know it seems like the end of the world
for you. but don't let it get hold of you.
I agree with talking to a lawyer about
this. You may just have a case.
Please feel better,
Carrie
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1422 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 61
Thanked:76
I agree Posted: 02-08-08 18:36pm
I totally agree with
Carrie.............find an attorney who
will talk ot you about this case. Their
are attorneys that specialize in this
field........ Worth a shot
Girlfriend...Hope you come out smelling
like a ROSE...........
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 220 Location: gulf coast =), USA
thanks to all of you for support Posted: 02-22-08 13:11pm
it helps to know that i am not alone... or
rather hear that i am not alone. deep down
i know i'm not but other times even on
here i feel that way. i refuse to give up
on myself... i've never been like that
even though i feel like that sometimes.
in short, i have to clean bc in-laws are
coming today, i'm on unemployment,
deferred student loans, got affordable
temporary insurance that doesn't have
grace period, made the decision, along
with husband and dr, to take a job away
from advertising until i'm stable and....
lots of other stuff like job hunting, good
days, bad days, and days in between. i'm
doing OK.
i cut back on my meds, seroquel, bc i
can't function with a thick tongue and a
drunk stagger. dr said he understands and
i'm currently switching to abilify over
the course of 9 days. i'm off ativan and
on clonazipan. the goal is to have me off
clonazipan eventually.
i think that u are right, i should look
into laws. i'm sure my step-dad, lawyer,
can help me with it or at least refer me
to specialist. after all, it wasn't long
after i disclosed my illness that i was
"let go".
peace and much love to you all
xoxo
puzzld
ps - sorry i haven't been on for a while
but i'm sure most can empathize. but, i am
ALWAYS available to support. private
message me if you would like my email add
which i check several times almost daily.
that hurts and is
so easy to say. i am numb but my circuit
is overloaded??? wish i had a shut down
button or at least a sleep mode. i'm tired
of myself, the way i hurt the people i
love by being ill. 
