Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 3 Location: Madison, WI
Any Advice About a Not So Enthusiastic Father????? Posted: 09-11-03 22:37pm
I'm two months pregnant by my boyfriend,
who I have only been with 4 months. The
pregnancy was a complete accident and
surprise. He is 22 and i'm 19. He has 4
kids and is a wonderful father, but his
kids live out of the state. I have no
kids. We are both in college. He really
wants me to have an abortion, but I am
strongly against using abortion like birth
control. I have never had an abortion and
I don't want to have one now. He says
that he will have nothing to do with me or
the baby if I keep it. But he still wants
to stay in a relationship, without the
baby. We are moving in our apartment
together this weekend and he thinks I am
going to have an abortion. We argue when
I talk about keeping my baby he says it
will ruin my life, but I know I can do it.
I don't understand how he can love his
kids and be such a good father but be so
adamant about me not keeping my baby,
especially if we are going to be together.
I don't know if he just needs some time
to get used to the idea that we are going
to have a baby. Has anyone been in a
similar situation? What was the outcome?
What did you do or what are you planning
to do? Please offer any advice or
suggestions. Thank you.
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janetp9
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2003 Posts: 13 Location: washington
Posted: 09-12-03 03:23am
I understand that this is a very confusing
time for you right now. Your boyfriend
wants you to chose between him or your
child. It is very apparant that you do
not want to have an abortion. Is your
boyfriend someone that you really want to
marry someday? Does he ever want any
other children? Is it worth giving up
all your principles just to stay with a
guy that already has 4 kids in another
state that he probally doesn't even
support. I can tell you have a beautiful
soul and I urge you to go with what you
feel is right and what you believe.
There will be some hard times ahead but
your baby should be your number one
priority. Let me know what you think.
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4922 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 09-12-03 10:45am
I urge you to keep this baby! If he says
he loves you and wants to live with you,
why cant he keep this baby? Hes not worth
it if he tells you he wont be there for
you if you have the baby. Why are all of
his kids out in another state? If he
didnt stay with that mother of all those
kids, it should have been a red flag that
something could go wrong if you got
pregnant, he wouldnt be there either. You
need to decide for yourself if this is the
kind of man you want to spend your life
with. You should not have to give up an
innocent baby that you want to keep just
because the guy your "love" says do not
have it. Keep it and see how he adjusts.
If he cant the let him go. Let us know
what happens, good luck!
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t_mcgough82
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2003 Posts: 7 Location: West Point, NY
Posted: 09-12-03 14:49pm
Nikki_caro is right. It's your decision
in the end. He shouldn't try to tell you
what to do with your life. You're old
enough to make decisions for yourself.
It's your body and your life. Just let
him know that you've made your decision
and that he's welcome to stay in your life
if you want him there.
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