Nathan's Asperger's symptoms are becoming
more apparent. At preschool, he has
pulled other kids hair for no reason and
holds his hands over his ears when
overstimulated - usually when auditorily
overstimulated (if he perceives it as too
loud) but it also can be his response if
he doesn't get his own way. He is so rigid
in his play that no one wants to play with
him. It goes on and on....
I took him to school on Monday (MLK
holiday) and a few people were there whom
I work with. They know about him but have
never met him. They asked him how he was
and he didn't respond. With one of them,
he just started talking about puzzles. He
has a lot of difficulty with reciprocal
communication. All three people told me
later that they feel he is definitely
Aspergers. One of them is a special
education teacher who has worked in
preschool special ed for years.
Yes, I am a school psych and can see it in
other children but when it's your own,
it's just different. You can't dx your own
child. This hurts. I can't even began to
explain what this is like.
For those that don't know, Nathan was dx
with Autism and then undx a few months
later by a clinical psychologist. The
developmental pediatrician strongly
disagreed with the undx, so she still felt
he had autism when we left Ohio.
I am getting him tested by a specialist
here in Idaho, so we can have everything
in place for kindergarten. Maybe I am
completely wrong and he doesn't have
Aspergers. Perhaps I am just overanalyzing
my own son??? I will find out. I do
believe I am correct. I have already
filled out a couple of the rating scales
that help dx for that with my husband and
he came out high (as having Aspergers).
I know he will struggle. I just know it.
He is sensitive in his own way. It's
painful to watch. Since he is extremely
high functioning, it makes it that much
more difficult. He has a high IQ and as he
gets older, he will know how different he
is and it is up to us to make sure that he
has a good self esteem.
I am struggling emotionally so much this
week. My son's behavior in preschool seems
to be just a sample of what it will most
likely be like during his school years. I
work with these kids and see how they
struggle (but also see some major
successes as well). I am struggling with
the loss of a "normal" child, especially
how I see that Brian is just so "into me."
He laughs with me, smiles, and has been
engaging in this reciprocal nonverbal
communication that Nathan never did. When
other people mention to me or confirm with
me that they agree he is Aspergers, it's
good to have that confirmation, but each
time the loss is that much more powerful.
I have to say, nathan is one funny kid.
The other day he took some Rolos (candies)
and said, "Is it Thursday?" I said, "No
it's Monday." He said, "It's Monday and we
can only eat these Rolos on Mondays, so we
need to eat them today and we need to eat
them before daddy gets home because on
Mondays daddys can't eat Rolos." I started
cracking up. He really didn't seem to
think he was funny. He doesn't realize
that he says the funniest things. I love
him.
My husband most likely on the spectrum,
too. Life is extremely lonely sometimes. I
PRAY that Brian can remain the way he is.
It's nice to get noticed.
|
yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 5554 Location: FL
Posted: 01-24-08 21:38pm
Im sorry you having to deal with this.
Every parent wants the best for their
child. Weither he has it or not Im sure
you are going to do your best to nuture
his needs so he can get the most out of
life
|
*star*
Supporter
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1743 Location: ,
Thanks: 18
Thanked:12
Posted: 01-24-08 21:41pm
Karen, Im sorry you are feeling like this.
I wish I could give you a big hug. I am
sure you will get through this, you are a
very strong and very smart woman and I
know you will be alright and make the best
decisions for your son and your family.
When I started to read the first part of
your post, it made me think of my niece.
She has been having a hard time in her
Kindergarden class. Her teacher has
suggested that she get tested and assessed
for ADD. She has had a problem listening
and following directions in class and has
hit other students. She also covers her
ears when there is a loud noise...like a
toilet flushing, a coffee grinder
grinding, on our boat when the motor
starts. I didn't think it was anything,
but now you have me wondering. Its a
shame, because my brother ans sil don't
think there is anything wrong with her and
are not going to get her tested as of now.
|
Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 7893 Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
Posted: 01-24-08 21:46pm
Oh man Karin, I'm so sorry!
I wish I knew what else to say...but I
can't come up with anything that would be
helpful!!
I don't know how helpful that I can be but
I will say that Nathan couldn't have a
better mom in his corner to help him with
his struggles, to nurture him the only way
he knows how and to all in all love him
just for being Nate Everything that I
have ever read about you tells me that you
are a very knowledgeable women and you
will only do what is best for your son.
I was just wondering if you know anything
about Jenny Mcarthy and her son? She was
on Oprah and she said that she has changed
her son's diet completely and it has
helped tremendously. She has a book out
telling her story......just a thought
Good luck ((HUGS))
|
jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 01-24-08 22:17pm
The concerns you first mentioned about the
hair pulling and ignoring the people who
talked to him seem typical of preschool
aged kids.
I hope it's nothing you're just panicked
for nothing.
|
kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 1573 Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-25-08 00:23am
I'm really sorry, Karin. I will keep your
family in my thoughts. <3
|
fairytale007
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 1379 Location: Denver, CO USA
Posted: 01-25-08 00:43am
Aw I'm really sorry you have to go through
this. It must be really tough, but you're
being strong through it all. One of my
little brothers does the hands over the
ears when it gets too loud and he gets
overstimulated so easily. It's sad to see
how hard they have to struggle through
everything. Hang in there. You
guys will be in my thoughts.
karen i know what you are going thru. i
too am having my son tested saturday for
the same condition:@( he has always had
difficulty time since the day he was born
(34 weeks we almost lost him) i started to
notice diff in him from my other 2
children he wouldnt crawl at a stage they
did or walk he was wayyy behind and he
wouldnt talk easter seals and early
intervention both helped they sent to my
house advocates to help me and home
therepist as well when he was 3 i put him
in developmental preschool so by the time
he was 4 he started to talk yay but he is
still behind in alot of things and his
lang is still hard to understand and he is
5 now and in kindergarten with a witch of
a teacher who didnt want him in her class
to begin with (argh!) and is constantly
complaining about his progress ive told
her and the useless principle that he
needs an aid and that he isnt like other
children his age( i refuse to call kids
normal and not normal )he has his quirks
but they wont listen so hopefully once he
is diagnoased they will hear me and get
him an aid. it is so heart wrenching to
see how he is when i look to my other 2
kids but i couldnt love him anyless he is
my little boy who has been thru hell and
back to be where he is today and hopefully
i can get him the help he needs so please
pm me if you want to talk and i do hope
all works out well for him
|
ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-25-08 20:26pm
I will pm ya!!
|
designlady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 55 Location: , USA
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 01-26-08 13:04pm
In Cub Scouts, I have several special
needs kids. Most of them are ADHD. Both of
my boys have special needs (different
types--one's emotional; one's
developmental). Anyway, there's also a kid
with Asperger's and a kid with Autism, so
I have the unique perspective of seeing
them side by side--plus, they're the same
age. However, there are two things that
make this difficult. Number one, the
autistic child is very high functioning
and the Asperger's child is a severe case.
The second thing is that, even though you
are a psychologist, you really are too
close to the situation to properly
diagnose (possibly). My sister-in-law is a
child psychologist. She said she couldn't
properly diagnose my son because she was
too bias. It turns out that her analysis
was pretty-much correct, but some things
were skewed by the fact that she's the
aunt.
My analysis, with what I've experienced
and seen, is that your son's case does
sound more like autism--with the very high
IQ, but such problems with social
interaction and communication. The
Asperger child that I know so well also
has ADHD, so that throws my analysis off a
bit, too. My parent's have an "adopted"
(kinda) granddaughter that has Asperger's.
She is just really quiet, can't hold a
conversation, and carries little stuffed
animals with her everywhere (although
she's in her late teens). She asked my
parents if they would be her adopted
grandparents (really sweet gesture). They
are more like Godparents to her, though.
She has some emotional difficulties and
has always been seen as "weird" to her
classmates. Her case seems very different
from your son, but there is so much of an
age gap, too.
My initial observation and opinion is that
it looks like autism. That's probably not
what you wanted to hear. Not sure... But,
honestly, our autistic kid in Scouts is
much less of a problem than the other.
Hope this helps; or at least gives you
another point of view.
Take care.
|
ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-26-08 13:54pm
designlady
wrote:
In Cub Scouts, I have
several special needs kids. Most of them
are ADHD. Both of my boys have special
needs (different types--one's emotional;
one's developmental). Anyway, there's also
a kid with Asperger's and a kid with
Autism, so I have the unique perspective
of seeing them side by side--plus, they're
the same age. However, there are two
things that make this difficult. Number
one, the autistic child is very high
functioning and the Asperger's child is a
severe case. The second thing is that,
even though you are a psychologist, you
really are too close to the situation to
properly diagnose (possibly). My
sister-in-law is a child psychologist. She
said she couldn't properly diagnose my son
because she was too bias. It turns out
that her analysis was pretty-much correct,
but some things were skewed by the fact
that she's the aunt.
My analysis, with what I've experienced
and seen, is that your son's case does
sound more like autism--with the very high
IQ, but such problems with social
interaction and communication. The
Asperger child that I know so well also
has ADHD, so that throws my analysis off a
bit, too. My parent's have an "adopted"
(kinda) granddaughter that has Asperger's.
She is just really quiet, can't hold a
conversation, and carries little stuffed
animals with her everywhere (although
she's in her late teens). She asked my
parents if they would be her adopted
grandparents (really sweet gesture). They
are more like Godparents to her, though.
She has some emotional difficulties and
has always been seen as "weird" to her
classmates. Her case seems very different
from your son, but there is so much of an
age gap, too.
My initial observation and opinion is that
it looks like autism. That's probably not
what you wanted to hear. Not sure... But,
honestly, our autistic kid in Scouts is
much less of a problem than the other.
Hope this helps; or at least gives you
another point of view.
Take care.
No kidding. I am way too close to the
situation. To tell you the truth, since
everything has happened with my son I am
not comfortable at all working with
younger kids and dx them in the
educational setting. I used to be more
confident before I had Nate. I have lost
all confidence in my knowledge with
younger kids. I am asking to be
transferred to a middle school next year
where I am at my best anyways.
I have been wondering about the high
functioning Autism as well instead of
Aspergers. Nathan just seems to fit the
DSM criteria more for the Aspergers except
that he was very late in talking. Usually
kids dx with Aspergers are not late in
talking and they usually have motor
difficulties and are often clumsy. They
also have horrible directional skills. In
addition, their nonverbal reasoning skills
on tests are usually lower than their
verbal skills. Nathan's nonverbal
reasoning skills were measured to be in
the superior range. Nathan is also
extremely high with directions. I often
get lost even in the doctors office -
where is the way out!!! He know and I
often find myself following him....pretty
sad. Nathan does remind me of some of the
Aspies at school but.....I just need to
stop analyzing! I hate that I do that!!
I am almost done filling out the paperwork
to get him reassessed and need to let the
professionals who have more experience in
Autism do the work!! When we go in, I am
going to TRY to let my husband do a lot of
the talking because I will probably just
sit there, try to dx him and drive the
doctor nuts.
I just looked in more books...you are
right. My son does seem to be more high
functioning Autistic than Aspergers.
Ok...I will stop now.
|
designlady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 55 Location: , USA
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 01-27-08 12:44pm
Just let us know how the diagnosis process
is going. I'm interested to see what they
say.
With our son, his first diagnosis was
incorrect, so don't hesitate to get a 2nd
(or 3rd opinion) if you feel you need to
for your son. I think with our case, my
motherly instincts just kicked in and told
me something wasn't right about the first
psychologist's assessment. Too bad--she
was extremely expensive; even though
insurance covered some of the cost. We're
now with a new psychologist and a
specialist (childhood psychiatrist) at the
best children's hospital in our state.
Even though it's an hour and a half drive
about once a month, it's worth it for
proper care and appropriate medication. We
are very fortunate that the teachers and
administrators at his school are so
supportive and understanding, too.
Good luck and I will pray for wisdom for
you and your son's doctor(s).
|
ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-27-08 13:39pm
Thanks!! We need the prayers. I am
praying, too. We may have to pay for this
out of our pocket (Yikes, the expense) but
hopefully it will be worth it. I am going
to "the specialists" here in Boise.
I really need prayer in patience for him.
I hate to say this, but he is driving me
completely nuts. The continuous counting
at times, his extremely loud voice (he
practically yells although his hearing is
normal), his need for order. A few days
ago he freaked out because someone messed
up his organization of the nutrigrain
bars. He ordered them by color and they
were ordered in two separate containers. I
didn't take the right color and I took one
from the bottom instead of the top. He
just flipped out and tried to tell me but
I couldn't understand what he was trying
to say. After I let him calm down he told
me, "Someone took the wrong one,; they
were supposed to take one from the top and
take green." He was so upset at this. His
anxiety levels are through the roof from
his need to order things and his
difficulty expressing himself...although
his vocabulary is through the roof he
doesn't always really know what he is
saying. I was not blessed with patience,
which is probably why I never became a
teacher. Teachers are amazing people! I am
a horrible mother for my son right now. I
feel just awful that I don't have more
patience. Even playing a game with him is
so frustrating because his need for
control is so high. It far surpasses that
of other preschoolers. I seriously need a
support group.
If he is actually dx., I will probably set
up a support group where I live. It's not
in the same school district and I can be a
mom and not a psych. I know there are
plenty of people who would join.
|
AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 7962 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 113
Thanked:8
Posted: 01-27-08 13:51pm
I'm so sorry, Karin. A coworker of mine
has a son with ADHD (I know it doesn't
compare) and they're having a lot of
trouble with him. His father (my coworker)
is at his wit's end, so I can only imagine
what you're feeling right now.
Karin, i understand the stress and extreme
frustration. Do you have a good support
system? I think that makes a world of a
difference!
I'm not going to repeat what has already
been said, but you know that you and I
share similar issues. You can pm me
anytime
|
ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-27-08 17:31pm
Honestly, I don't have much of a support
system. Kind of sad, but the strongest
support system I have right now are these
forums. I have a few long term friends but
that just really just like to talk about
themselves or they just have way too many
issues that it's difficult to give me
support.
I have coworker friends but we are too
busy talking about the kids that we work
with and it's really not right to confide
in them. I am trying to find a good church
and a small group bible study but that is
a whole other story. Hopefully we can find
some good friends around here soon.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13936 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 01-27-08 18:36pm
hey karin sorry im so late on this
i really dont know
what to say. you're an extremely strong
woman though. keep your head up hun.
you're a wonderful person and a wonderful
mom!
you know im here if you ever need to talk
day or night
just pm me or if you have aim or yahooIM
let me know and ill give you my sn.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
Everything that I
have ever read about you tells me that you
are a very knowledgeable women and you
will only do what is best for your son.
Hang in there. You
guys will be in my thoughts.
