I was in a fairly long, youthful
relationship (we're both 18 going on 19 in
Feb)... my fiancee had a very emotionally,
and verbally abusive environment I tried
my best to save him from... (get him out
of the house, love him as best I could...)
We were planning on getting an apartment
together, with a friend of mine in
December, just last Wednesday we were
looking at housewares for our place
together when...
The following Tuesday before work I get a
message saying he thinks I'm the reason
for his unhappiness, and is "done" with
me. I was in complete shock... we'd been
going through some stressful times, but I
was beginning to speak about (couples)
therapy. He is not currently, nor has he
been to see any sort of therapist or been
put on drugs... This is all so sudden my
head is still spinning in disbelief.
Knowing his judgement might be impaired
right now I am/was willing to wait around,
and just love him until he got some sort
of sense again, but now he wants to get
back together with his first love, for
"closure"... I'm just so hurt, and
betrayed by this I'm having a hard time
remembering him as the man I want to
marry. It's as if he's become a
completely different person... someone who
never cared about me, and we've been
together for nearly two years.
I'm looking into therapy for myself... he
says he may be willing to drop in, though
I'm almost afraid to imply its for our
future together since he seems to have
forced me into "fond memories"...
I just don't how I'll find the strength...
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5136 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 52
Thanked:25
Posted: 02-08-08 11:05am
Has he been diagnosed with BPD? For his
own good, you should really encourage him
to. In my personal opinion, I think you
should help him get treatment, let him get
better (back to himself), and THEN think
about re-starting the relationship.
You really care about him, and it's time
to put his health before your
relationship. Help him get better, and
when he's completely better and there's
been some time to heal, then you can get
back together. Plus, if you are able to
see him as just a friend you are helping
out, he won't be able to hurt you this
way.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
