Abortion Debate Forum - Why I Am So Interested In Abortion

I was asked why I am so interested in abortion.

So I will give you an insight into my story.

I was seventeen and studying music at college when my boyfriend and I decided to go and see a band, I was very interested in hearing the singer as I had heard he was a godd voclaist. (i am not a good singer) I was hoping that he fitted the bill of what I was looking for, someone to sing one of my songs I had writen. I liked to write my own songs and record them onto. C.D.

We went and my boyfriend and I ended up getting totaly drunk that nite we spent the night together and 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. A lot of thoughs went through my mind about adoption, abortion and keeping the baby. I had always been pro choice and had believed all the arguments for abortion even though I knew they were wrong. My boyfriend was catholic and he was putting a lot of pressure on me to keep his baby, but I told him its my body, my choice. Eventually I decided I couldnt go through with the pregnancy. I was only seventeen, I was at college persuing my dream of being a musician and song writer all my tutors agreed I had a gift for lyrics and poetry. I decided a baby at this time in my life was wrong for my life and booked an abortion. I aborted my 13wk foetus soon after. My boyfried tried to accept my decision but he two and a half months after my abortion my boyfriend left me.

I graduated from college and went to university and got involved with a university band, I wasnt yet performing with them but I would write songs for them now and again, always making sure I had a hard copy of my songs. The abortion seemed so long ago and I was getting on with mylife, everything was coming together very well. I finished uni and moved into the local music scene where I met my next boyfriend who was a guitarist for one of the bands I had become involved with. It wasnt until my mid twenties some seven or eight years later(it can occure anytime in your life after an abortion) did post abortion sydrome hit me, boy did it hit me hard. I had re-occuring nightmares, flashbacks and suicidal thoughts I was a complete and total emotional wreck.

For awhile I hid it very well from my boyfriend and my family and tried to continue persuing my dreams. Then one day the axe just fell after looking out of my window and seeing a father and his I would guess around 9 yr old daughter playing in their back garden. I broke down into tears, the pain was unbareable. I took my instruments, cd's and musical equipment put them all in a cupboard and put a lock on it. I was not worthy to have my pleasure's and my dreams. I had denide all the things I loved so much from someone else, my baby.

Of course my boyfried eventually realised something was wrong and I came clean. He was great he stuck by me, comforted me went through all the anger fear self hate everything, I owe him so much. One morning I woke up made breakfast for my boyfriend he commented on how happy he was to see me so happy. He left for work and I went up stairs started to run the bath and I opened the cupboard and took out the first cd I had recorded since my abortion it was called "just pretend" I went into the bathroom and got into the bath where I sat for a while thinking, I then snapped the cd in half and proceded to slash my wrists with jagered edge, it hurt but I was a total emotional realise it felt so good.

My boyfriend had forgoten his electonic access card for work and had returned home to get it. He later told me when I walked into the house I knew something was wrong. He came upstairs and opened the bathroom door, I was lying there so pale I was almost blue, he said and the bath was full of a deep red water and I had a very weak pulse. He told me he froze and couldnt move but he then got his composure ripped his shirt tied it around my wrists then rang for an abulance and they stayed on the phone to him telling him what to do until they arrived.

After I recovered I was addmited into a psyciratric hospital for 2 months after which I was realesed. .P.A.S was still a very big part of my life - it was my life, I often contemplated suicide but my boyfriend had made me proimise not to do it, for some reason it worked. Then one day I wondered if I was pregnant, it had been a while since my last period and I went to the doctors with my boyfriend and he told me I was pregnant, I was so over joyed at lastand so was my boyfriend. I truely believed this would put it all behind me the future was bright and for the first time I was thinking of the how good it will be in the future instead of thinking of ending it.

Within the first few months of pregnancy I started bleeding and miscarried my second baby the cause was related to my previous abortion, we were devastated after I had recovered some I attended the doctors for some tests in case I needed tratment to help me sustain a pregnancy the ruslts came back it was not good, I was now infertile, I will never have a child of my own. My boyfriend he couldnt take the news that if he stayed with me he woulndt be a father and eventually we both decided it would be best if we broke up. I on the other hand found great comfort in the pain of miscarrige and infertility, I felt it was my punishment and I know it played a big big part in my over coming my .P.A.S.

After over coming pas I started to research abortion and started to reveal the truth - to myself, it was hard, I think the hardest thing to do is admit your wrong when so much depends upon you being right. Once I discovered I was wrong, I unlocked my music cupboard sold my instruments, cd’s, equipment and burnt my songs I had written.

The money I received from the sales I donated to a pro life organization. I became involved with a pro life group and tried to offer counselling to post abortive women, I wasn’t very good nearly every meeting resulted in me ending up in tears. So I became more involved in promoting awareness, which is why I am here today.

Every baby that will live because of me, is also my child as well as the parents child. Abortion took my motherhood away but pro life can give me it back.

Abortion destroyed my life so I am using abortion to raise it up again.

Destroy this temple and in three days, I will raise it up