Hi I'm totally new to this Bipolar
Disorder stuff so let me start by telling
a bit of my story.
I 've been married for 3 years now and
before I got married my wife tolde she had
some kind of mental health problem. At the
time I didn't really payed attention to
that because I loved her since we were
teenagers and I wanted to spend the rest
of my life with her and nothing was gonna
get in the way. Of course i told her that
I was going to help her to feel better but
I didn't know i was in for a surprise.
Things started changing a year after we
married. She wanted to get pregnant and at
the time she was taking valproic acid
stuff so she had to get off of it in order
for her to carry a child with no
complications. I didn't see a big deal on
her doing it so she stopped taking the
pills. Shortly after that she started with
mood swings and calling me names, I
thought it was because of the pregnancy
but I was wrong. Things got worse and
worse but it temporarily stopped after our
daughter was born just to re-start a
couple of months later. Now the episodes
of mood swings she has are horrible, she
doesn't wanna do anything at all so I'm
taking care of my son, daughter, cleaning
cooking and working so naturally my mood
started getting bad. So now I yell at her
too when she yells at me which has taken
us to the point where she kicks me out of
the house. I try not to answer back to her
and just leave for a couple of hours but I
can't the verbal and mental abuse she puts
me through is big.
So my question is: where can I find help
on how to cope with this situation and
help her. I love her to death, I don't
wanna see her fall because of this.
Sometimes she doesn't wanna take her
medicine(Lithium) because it makes her
gain weight and that makes her really
depressed.
God knows I wanna help her deal with
Bipolar Disorder but I think I have
reached a point where I might need help
also.
Please any response would be greatly
appreciated.
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 854 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Re: Bipolar Wife Posted: 01-28-08 12:58pm
Hi carlosmc. I am new to this forum but
not to bipolar disorder. I am not
suffering from bpd but 2 of my children
and a brother do. My husband has seasonal
affect disorder, which is considered a
very mild bpd.
Your wife is sounding very unstable right
now. She is not taking her meds so that
will cause huge shifts in her moods. There
are many medications out now. Perhaps her
doctor would be willing to try something
other than lithium to help her control her
bpd. Try to encourage her to go to the
doctor. Let her know that you know she is
miserable and life shouldn't be this
painful for anyone. Childbirth often
causes women who have bpd or are
predisposed to bpd to have erratic shifts
in mood. The hormone levels are shifting
and contribute to the mood swings greatly.
She should see her doctor based on that
alone.
Offer her support, try not to be too
judgmental. This is difficult because she
probably targets you for all of her
aggression and hostility. She does this to
you because with you feels safe, secure,
loved and knows on some level that even
though the behavior is terrible you will
still be there and love her. I am the
happy recipient of my son's aggression and
hostility. He can be pretty angry and
abusive at times and most of it comes at
me. It is exhausting and difficult to
take. Try to remember where this stuff is
coming from. She is not well. She feels
horrible. Her brain is probably on
overload, constantly ON, with thoughts
going, going, going. This would cause her
to feel agitated and irritable.
Getting her to a doctor is really
necessary. She sounds like she is cycling.
If she does not get the proper meds to
help her she will likely get worse. Tell
her that her children and you need her,
love her and want to be happy and
healthy.
