My boyfriend and I have been together
almost 11 months now. At the beginning of
this year, we made our new years
resolution together to become better
friends (even though we're already best
friends) and to get to know eachother
better. The reason we decided to do this
is because we only knew eachother for six
days before we started dating. I know it
sounds ridiculous...but we just really
clicked. He did say that it felt like we
kinda rushed into it, but he was immensly
glad that we did because now he cant
picture life without me...plus he moved
away like a week after we started dating.
If he hadn't had the guts to ask me out
the day he did, we woulda never happened.
So what happened was that we decided to be
lovers, but above all, we're friends, and
that can never be broken.
It sounds great and all...and at first i
thought it was wonderful, but now im kinda
suffering from withdrawal. Since we have a
long distance relationship, we talk on the
phone for hours a day, and when we see
eachother, we're all over eachother.
Now we talk on the phone pretty much as
much as we did before, but when we're
together, all we do is hold hands.
I get a hug and a kiss (a peck) when I
first see him, a goodnight kiss (a peck)
if we spend the night together, and a hug
and a kiss when we part. That'll usually
be a peck too, sometimes it ends up being
a brief open mouth kiss.
So when I randomly want to kiss him like
we used to, he stops me and says "friends
don't kiss". At first it was cute but now
it makes me sad.
It's not just the sex I miss, but all the
other little affectionate gestures as
well.
The reason he said he wanted to be less
sexual was because since we had sex
everytime we saw eachother, or atleast we
fooled around, he didnt want our
relationship to be based on a purely
sexual connection. It isn't that way, but
he didn't want it to become a shallow
relationship like that.
Well what this is about....
I just wanted to know your thoughts on
this.
Have any of you done anything similar?
What would you do/think if you were in my
position?
thanks in advance.
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Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1491 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 81
Thanked:115
Hi Posted: 01-28-08 20:59pm
Sounds like a very respectable guy, in
these days are hard to find.........guys
come and go and most will hit it and miss
and never think about
"friendship"........He sounds like a
really nice person and I'd be proud to
have him for a friend! Friends
first.......freids always.....they make
the best partners when it comes to LASTING
relationships! You can always use you
hand!
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Maji
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 108 Location: ,
Re: Hi Posted: 01-28-08 21:11pm
Fairy*Godmother
wrote:
Sounds like a very
respectable guy, in these days are hard to
find.........guys come and go and most
will hit it and miss and never think about
"friendship"........He sounds like a
really nice person and I'd be proud to
have him for a friend! Friends
first.......freids always.....they make
the best partners when it comes to LASTING
relationships! You can always use you
hand!
well this has definitely proven to be a
lasting relationship and it'll continue to
be, as he said that he wants to spend the
rest of his life with me and so do i =]
I know i can use my hand to pleasure
myself...but it just isnt the same without
him. i used to masturbate every now and
then out of random...but ever since we
started masturbating together (phone sex
or mutual masturbation), i get absolutely
nothing from doing it by myself. I just
feel stupid when i do it. So now I don't
do it at all =/ When I get urges I just
squeeze my legs together tightly and think
about him, which kinda works.
And yes I do know he's one of a kind and
I'm immensly thankful to have him in my
life, I just miss the lover part. Now the
only way you'd be able to tell we're
together is if you see us holding hands. I
like hand holding...in fact I LOVE
it...but I just feel like I need a little
more. Maybe that's just me being selfish
though =/
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 01-29-08 03:11am
Omg my ex and me dated for a month before
we saw that we were better off as friends.
That entire summer we became lovers and
friends. It felt so comfortable being able
to have sex wit him knowing that it wasn't
just sex to him. That there was that
friendship there. When ever I'm single we
always get together hang out and it makes
my breakups so much easier to get over
cause he.s that strong genuinly caring
presence. For a few months though we
weren't in touch nd I missed him so. But
there will be moments like that but you
have to learn to give him his space
Its rude to say but hes the only one of my
guys Ikno would be there for me if I ever
got prego. My current boyfriend...eh.
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 01-29-08 12:59pm
I'm sorry if I come across as rude, but
you can be friends with your boyfriend and
still sleep with him and I think the
arrangement is a little silly. A
relationship will be based solely on sex
if that is all that is left and obviously
you two have more than that.
I get the feeling that you both are
overanalyzing this.
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Maji
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 108 Location: ,
Posted: 01-31-08 22:42pm
Jude-Love
wrote:
I'm sorry if I come across
as rude, but you can be friends with your
boyfriend and still sleep with him and I
think the arrangement is a little silly.
A relationship will be based solely on sex
if that is all that is left and obviously
you two have more than that.
I get the feeling that you both are
overanalyzing
this.
yeah i also think we're overdoing it. if
it were up to me we would still be having
sex. what he said to me was that since
everytime we saw eachother we had sex or
atleast fooled around alot, he was afraid
that we would end up having one of those
relationships that are based solely on
sex. i assured him that it wasnt that way
since we're already best friends and we do
talk daily, so its not like we're having
sex instead of talking to eachother
persay. all i can think about is him being
all over me now though..which i think is
worse than before. what i do understand is
that he's going through a really stressful
time right now though. he did say that he
needed some room for himself and that he
thought this would be a much better
alternative to breaking up because he
loves me and cant imagine me as anything
less than his girlfriend. we already
established that we love eachother enough
to know that we want no one else but
eachother and want to spend the rest of
our lives together. i guess anyone else
would throw the towel in by now...but i
really want us to work out.
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Maji
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 108 Location: ,
Posted: 03-25-08 22:31pm
well just so you guys know...
we had many long, meaningful talks about
this and other factors in our life.. and
we came to an understanding as to where we
both are in our lives right now and its
wonderful. after one of the talks we layed
in bed together hugging for a long time
and then he began kissing me tenderly like
he hadn't in a looong time, which was
wonderful all by itself but it came
accompanied by some fondling and whatnot
and well...led to one of the best nights
of sex of my life (so far hehe)..I guess
we both really needed it . It was great
because of what was involved. There was
lots of tension release, sexual tension,
mostly. Then there was also me being
assured that he was still attracted to me.
I was beginning to think he wasn't anymore
since he wouldnt so much as kiss me unless
i asked for a goodnight kiss or goodbye
kiss. he was just under alot of stress and
so was i for personal matters..but
everything is just peachy now
Oh and this was over a month ago but yeah
i havent been on in a looong time
