My older sister tried to kill herself two
days ago. This came as quite a shock to my
family and me because she'd never shown
signs of depression. When she was brought
to hospital, it was found out that she had
a chemical imbalance and was suffering
from bipolar disorder. I was in the dorm
when I heard about it so I was really
freaked out. Now I feel as if I might've
been able to help her if I'd only known
what she was going through. I haven't seen
her yet, but I'm going to home this
weekend to see how she's doing. Thing is,
I don't know how I should interact with
her. Do I ask her why she did it? Please
help me.
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antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 965 Location: IL
Thanks: 48
Thanked:18
Sister Posted: 01-30-08 10:43am
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your
sister. This is a very difficult time for
you and your family.
Your sister has bipolar disorder? If this
is the first indication of her disorder
then there is no way for anyone to have
known or helped her. A manic or depressive
episode can come out of the blue. Many
people that suffer from this disorder have
a traumatic episode and then the disorder
is diagnosed.
I don't know that your sister will have
any concrete answer for you if you ask her
why she attempted to end her life. Deep
depression is very hard for many people to
understand if they have never felt that
way. Depression of this magnitude goes way
beyond just the blues. People that suffer
from this type of depression have such
profound sadness and despair. Life seems
to hopeless and they feel powerless and
helpless to see beyond the despair. This
type of profound depression zaps the
energy from you. You are unable to perform
the simplest activities of daily living.
Getting out of bed, showering, grooming
and eating take monumental effort. There
seems to be no way to end the deep sadness
and pain. This sadness and pain may not
have any specific reason or cause. When
the chemical imbalance in the brain
occurs, neurotransmitters are not released
in adequate levels. This results in deep
depression and excessive bouts of energy.
It is not something that is easy to see in
many people, especially when it is a new
onset of the disorder and symptoms are not
recognized as part of a larger problem
like mental illness.
The most help you can be to your sister is
to support her. Try not to be judgmental
about her behavior. You are seeing the
worst side of depression. Bipolar disorder
has two spectrums to it. Mania or
hypomania (a milder form of mania) is the
other side of bipolar disorder. You may
have seen some of the moods and behaviors
that are associated with mania and not
recognized them as manic behavior. Educate
yourself. The university of Google is a
good place to start. There is sooooo much
information out there. When you go to see
your sister ask the nurses and the doctor
to help you and your family get
information about bipolar disorder. They
can get you literature to read, refer you
to support groups and assist you with
finding the answers to any questions. I
can not encourage you enough to get
educated about this disorder. Knowledge is
power. Your parents will need to empower
themselves to be able to help your sister.
You will, too.
I don't know that you could have helped
your sister if she did not have a
diagnosis of bipolar disorder prior to her
attempt to commit suicide. This may have
been her first episode with the disorder.
Your sister will need medication to
restore normal balance of the chemicals in
her brain. She will be given medication
while in the hospital and remain on meds,
probably for the rest of her life, unless
there is some breakthrough in science and
a cure is found. Bipolar disorder is
treatable and can be managed but not
cured. Many people live productive, happy
lives with bipolar disorder. When you see
your sister just show her love and
support. Let her tell you things as she
feels comfortable talking about it. That
may be right away or it may be never. She
may not have any answers herself. Just
being there and showing her you are not
angry with her will be tremendously
helpful. Let her know she is loved,
cherished, and valued - no matter what.
Keep coming back to this forum. Many of
the participants here have bipolar
disorder themselves. They can tell you
about life with this disorder first hand.
Again, I want to say how sorry I am that
your sister is sick. She will recover and
manage her illness. You can get through
this! Get support and education so you
know about her illness and can support
her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your
sister and your family. Let us know how
all of you are doing. Peace.
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Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 329 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 7
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-30-08 10:59am
"Deep depression is very hard for many
people to understand if they have never
felt that way"
This is sooo true. It's extremely
difficult to even begin to get someone to
understand how you are feeling. Whenever
I seem extremely down my dad would always
ask if something is wrong at work. It
doesn't work that way. In fact, on some
days I can have loads of stress and not be
affected by it. Then on other days when
everything is going 100%, I would feel
like ... you know what I mean.
The best you can do is let your sister
know that you are there for her and even
if you don't understand, you will support
her.
The worst thing you can ever do is to
blame, criticise or make her feel as if
what happened is her fault. Even
subsequent side-effects of how she
attempted suicide should not be placed on
her shoulders. Be supportive in her
recovery and always mindfull of this
fact.
A lot of people think..."Oh common, we all
get sad and blue from time to time". Deep
depression is not something you can ignore
or that happens necissarily due to events.
You can't turn it on and you can most
certainly not turn it off.
All of the best!
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trishtrishtrish
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 01-30-08 17:48pm
Thank you for the support. I'll certainly
use the information you've provided to try
and help my sister. I know that this is a
very tragic phase in a person's life, and
I only hope that my sister can fully
recover. We're all just worried that
she'll try to commit suicide again. She's
currently under very close observation.
She's resigned from her job, and is living
with my parents again. Wish us all the
best, and I'll definitely be checking out
this forum again in the near future.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 01-31-08 15:51pm
Don't blame yourself, that's the first
thing.
When you see her, tell her you love her.
Talk with her, laugh with her. IF she
wants to talk about her disorder, let her
talk about it, but don't ask her, don't
expect her to understand yet and don't
expect her to have to explain herself.
Just be there for her, that's the best you
can do. Luckily, now you are aware of the
diagnosis. Go learn about it! Do your
research. I know it sounds stupid, but
Wiki is a great resource to start learning
about mental disorders. She's getting
treatment now, which is the first step-
and all you need to do is be there for
her, and be her sister.
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trishtrishtrish
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 02-05-08 04:20am
I've just come back from visiting my
sister from home. She seems all right now.
She talked to me about the situation,
which surprised my family. Apparently, she
didn't want to open up to them about it.
I'm just glad that she's getting her
feelings out now. From what I gather, she
just got so fed up with all the bad luck
she's been getting lately (getting 10k
stolen from her, getting held up at
knife-point). I just hope she gets better
soon. She's back at work now (it's at a
magazine, so it's pretty flexible hours).
I'm looking forward to seeing her again
this weekend.
I've done quite a bit of research about
the treatments she should be getting. The
doctor recommended lithium, but my family
and I aren't sure we approve since it has
known side effects such as delusion and
mania. Any advice on alternative
medication?
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Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 329 Location: , South Africa
I'm sure I don't need to say this, but
keep in mind that this is for reference
purposes, so you have some knowledge about
these drugs so you can ask the doctor
about alternatives.
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trishtrishtrish
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 4
to Seraph Posted: 02-05-08 10:14am
Seraph, thank you so much for the links!
They have been very helpful. All the best
to you and your family. :]
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Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 329 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 7
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-08 10:31am
No problem
Just glad I could be of some help
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 02-06-08 21:03pm
Lithium can be really great- it's not for
everybody, but for some people, it's the
only thing that works. If it is prescribed
in the proper amounts, the person taking
should not experience delusions or
anything of the sort. Other
anti-psychotics have similar risks though,
but newer ones are more refined.