I recently broke up with my girlfriend, as
she was way too clingy and suffocated me
as if we were married (yet we're only in
high school). I told her we'd just be
friends so as not to hurt her feelings.
Holidays are now soon to be over, and
going back to school is getting worrying
for me. When we were going out, we'd hang
around exclusively with each other
(Occasionally I'd try to hang around with
my friends so they didn't get offended).
Now that we are going back to school,
she's going to want to hang around with
me. That's annoying but acceptable if I
can still hang around my friends and she
just comes along. But I'm pretty certain
she's gonna want it to be just us.
Admittedly, I'm starting to feel disdain
for her as time progresses. She's one of
those people that complains non-stop about
something, but never does anything to fix
it. She keeps saying she has no friends,
but then when a girl from school is really
nice and talks to her, she just complains
after that she hates them.
I thought if I broke up with her, I'd be
free of her clingyness. She'd say things
like "We're gonna get married!" and I'd
agree with her because I felt pressured
into saying it. At first I kinda believed
it, but then she just got more and more
clingy, and I finally realized that her
personality just annoyed me. I can't say
to her "I don't really wanna be friends"
because I know that would just hurt her.
I feel like I'm trapped, which makes me
angry. That anger is slowly turning into a
hatred for her, which I feel guilty about.
I've tried to express all this through
drawings and poetry, but they don't make
me feel much better.
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panicballoon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Chino Hills, CA USA
Posted: 01-31-08 00:45am
would you still want to be with her if she
gave you breathing room?
I think it would be unfair to break up
with her for the reasons you have
described above without her knowing what
she was doing wrong.
Explain to her your concerns, give her a
chance to shape up, but if she protests or
just doesn't get the hint that you need
some time to yourself (it is what really
helps keep a relationship healthy...time
apart) then send her off.
also, us girls at that high school age
think we are going to marry every
boyfriend we have, but we eventually learn
that saying things like that generally
scare the crap out of a guy. We can be
more emotional than practical at times,
esp. when we are teenagers. You made the
mistake of just going along with it
instead of speaking your true feelings.
You can't hold stuff in. It will bite you
later.
hope that helps.
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Larlen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 71 Location: New York, United States
