culture or family the hindrance of relationship Posted: 02-04-08 08:55am
I have relationship for 10 months now. I
am a Filipina and he is a Palestinian. For
past months our relationship going very
well but when he went back to his hometown
last month January 2008 he became
different. Now, he said to me its better
to end up our relationship because of our
culture and family. He can't disobey his
family. As far as i know his family
arrange a marriage to him with the same
nationality in the same town... I love him
that much thats why i cant give him back
or let go. He said he will not leave me
but he cant give to me a serious
relationship in the future. And i accepted
that we will continue our relationship. I
dont know what happen to me nowadays... I
am ready to sacrifice all the things for
this crazy love...
I would like to ask is the culture or
family i really the hindrance of our
relationship???
Please help...
Always,
Cherry
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-07-08 18:30pm
Sounds like it. What a shame.
|
entices1
Supporter
Joined: 25 Apr 2007 Posts: 120 Location: North Florida, USA
RE: culture or family the hindrance of relationship Posted: 02-08-08 20:01pm
You don't state how old the both of you
are so the question is kind of hard to
answer.
At one time, no one married outside of
his/her culture, even in the US. Germans
married Germans, French married French,
etc., and you NEVER went against your
family for fear of essentially being
disowned.
That has changed for many people but not
all. I have friends from India--two did
the arranged marriage thing and the third
(a woman) found her own husband. Neither
set of parents objected in the last case.
A Syrian friend of mine married an
American with no problems in either
family.
However, there are people for whom
associating with, much less marrying,
outside of the culture is completely
unthinkable. Family = culture. This can
put the children in a bad spot, having to
choose between family expectations and
potential future happiness.
If he's an adult, he must decide for
himself which way he wants to go. If he
doesn't choose you there's nothing you can
do to get him back. I know you don't want
to be alone (who does) but that is one of
the risks in any relationship--regardless
of culture.
He has to love you for who you are. If
what's keeping you apart is stronger than
what holds you together then it's time to
go your own way.
What would you tell someone who came to
you with this problem?
Good luck and please keep posting.
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shine_angel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 2 Location: ,
Hello Posted: 02-12-08 01:41am
Thanks for the advise... I am happy now...
maybe he doesnt have his own
backbone..hahaha..but that is not a
problem now... We officially break up coz
i realized its not good for me... I was
the only one who exerted the effort and
time but him, he just do nothing but have
fun with his friends...
By the way, he is 24 and am 24 also..
Thanks guys...
Cherry
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skinny-loser
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 6 Location: , UK
Posted: 03-02-08 09:37am
Sounds like you did the right thing
Cherry. Good luck.
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