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Sharing pregnancy with parents

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1genda

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2008
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Sharing pregnancy with parents
Posted: 02-06-08 13:58pm

Okay so maybe a slight introduction. My name is Danielle (17) and I'm in Canada. Just found out im pregnant. Ive been with my WONDERFUL boyfriend for 2 years. We decided were going to go move to a two bedroom apartment soon and try to get through the toughness and find something good throughout it.
ANYWAY My boyfriends parents (his mom expecially) can get under my skin. Last year we had a scare about this but I was 15. So it sount a lot worse. And his parents (as most parents would) flipped when they found out (NOT my idea telling them before we knew!)

This time I know they will think Derek (my boyfriend) Is RUINING his life doing this with me. And they're going to push abortion on me (we have decided to have the baby 100%). But it REALLY bugs me when this is going to come up "You probley tried to get pregnant to lock Derek in". That makes me what to turn around and knock her out. I've never done anything bad to my boyfriend. He is spoiled. But Derek is her first child. So shes protective but I think you could all imagine what it would feel like when you feel like your doing the right thing working hard, saving money, having the baby then having the boyfriends mom tell you you did this on purpose to ruin his life.
Any ideas how i can maturly reply to that when it comes up?
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Ingi

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Posted: 02-06-08 14:15pm

You could tell her that while she is entitled to her opinion, her son does not feel the same way and you hope that she'll be happy when her grandchild arrives so she can share in the joy of the new baby. Because, really, bitterness is best left behind - since saying 'you could have' or 'you should have' is all fine and dandy, but it is now a moot point. There is a baby coming!

Good luck.
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Verizon-y

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Posted: 02-06-08 14:23pm

Your bf needs to step up and tell his parents this was a planned pregnancy and you both planned it together, and he wants the child as much as you do.

Are you two getting married? Sometimes that softens the blow to parents. Many parents can feel like, if their son wanted a child, he would have proposed to the girl, making a commitment to her first. Since it is very difficult for many people to understand why anyone would do things in reverse order, have a child first and then get married, sometimes the assumption is that someone tricked someone.
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jessamyn

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Posted: 02-06-08 15:04pm

Parents think that because the majority of the time it is true. In most cases at 17 when a girl winds up pregnant the father leaves, or they are irresponsible, or just not ready. A parents job is to be over bearing and over protective especially in sitautions such as these.
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Willa Weintraub

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Posted: 02-06-08 15:21pm

So tha majority of the time a 17 year old girl gets pregnant, she did it on purpose? I strongly disagree with you on that. She cannot get pregnant alone and if said bf didn't want his said 17 year old gf to get preg, they would use protection.
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd

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Joined: 11 Apr 2007
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Posted: 02-06-08 20:58pm

this isnt a post on abortion debate guys ok so please keep your opinions to yourself she needs support not your personal oppinions thank you
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yellow ribbon

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Joined: 07 Dec 2005
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Posted: 02-07-08 00:57am

id point out you didnt undress him and make him have sex with you. but in a nice way cuz like the saying goes "kill them with kindness"
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young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 02-07-08 02:45am

im so sorry hes got parents like this
unfortunatly that sounds like the kind of parents a spoiled only child would have. its because shes not ready to let go yet. some parents feel like that. but thank god its your choice and your decition. she might be a b(&*(*^ at first but when that baby is born she wont be able to resist or turn away. after all its from her SON. she is the GRANDMOTHER ya know? she will come around. it might just take time for her to relize that her son loves you and wants this too.
stick to your gun and dont worry
it will be stressful at first but it will pass

good luck
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Verizon-y

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Posted: 02-07-08 13:27pm

Why can't the bf stick up for her and set his parents straight? Has this happened to anyone else, where you and your bf agree on having a child and he never tells his parents that he was part of the planning?
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