I can't stop loving this girl even though
i've been rejected by her 2 years ago. At
the beginning i confessed to her. So,
she's trying to give me a chance and we
tried to work it out. At last she rejected
me. I thought she rejected me because she
has no special feeling to me but i was
wrong. Her friends told me that the reason
she rejected me because i never take
action to date her. She just wanted us to
be friends but i tried to beg her to give
me another chance (i know this is not the
smartest thing to do) but she refused by
saying it is too late. At last she chose
other guy instead of me. Her new boyfriend
called me up and warned me (said something
rude to me) to stop communicating with
her. I'm very heartbroken and confused at
that time. So, I made a decision to forget
her.
Two years have passed, I'm still have
feeling to her now and i can't forget her
even though i'm trying hard. Two weeks ago
i was in a shopping mall, i noticed
someone is staring at me. When i look
back, i was surprised it was her. I just
pretended to i didn't see her though in my
heart i really wish to talk to her again.
Though i must accept the fact that we
can't be friends again after what had
happened 2 years ago.
Now i feel very lonely without much
friends around (coz i'm a very shy guy).
People ask me to forget her and move
on..The problem is how exactly am i going
to move on if i love her so much?
Thanks for reading this...i really
appreciate you advise and comment.
|
entices1
Supporter
Joined: 25 Apr 2007 Posts: 120 Location: North Florida, USA
Re: Rejected by a girl Posted: 02-09-08 19:04pm
I'm sorry you're going through this bump
in the road but you really must get past
it. I know you don't enjoy being
miserable but you're holding on to this so
tightly that it seems to have become an
obsession.
You don't say how old you are; regardless,
you need to make a firm commitment to
yourself that you will move on.
1. Get rid of anything you still have
that has any connection to her. No
pictures, no letters, nothing. If you
have a cell phone, get rid of her
telephone number. If you have still have
those around you'll never climb out of
your rut.
2. Make yourself take up a new interest.
You need something to fill the emptiness
you feel. Even going to a gym--physical
exercise is a good way to get exhausted
and fall to sleep (and make yourself feel
better). You'll meet people who will have
at least one thing in common with you and
that's a way to begin friendships with
both men and women.
3. Find a way to enjoy one thing each
day. It doesn't have to be anything
big--a pretty sunrise, a song on the
radio, something in a store window,
whatever. If you can find a bit of
happiness in your sorrow you know you'll
feel better.
4. Whenever you feel a thought about her
coming on, get it out of your mind and put
something else in there. It will be
difficult initially but over time she will
become a distant memory. Don't let your
sadness continue to rule your life.
Hope these few things help.
Good luck and do keep posting.
|
MMAFighter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 378 Location: WA, USA
Posted: 02-09-08 19:22pm
Yes, I've been rejected by girls too...In
fact, I've never been on a date, went to a
school dance (uh, Tolo is tonight, I'm not
going), had a girlfriend, or kissed a
girl. Just try to find something else to
do like studying or working out, I prefer
working out since it puts less strain on
ur already confused mind.
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Re: Rejected by a girl Posted: 02-10-08 01:40am
entices1
wrote:
I'm sorry you're going
through this bump in the road but you
really must get past it. I know you don't
enjoy being miserable but you're holding
on to this so tightly that it seems to
have become an obsession.
You don't say how old you are; regardless,
you need to make a firm commitment to
yourself that you will move on.
1. Get rid of anything you still have
that has any connection to her. No
pictures, no letters, nothing. If you
have a cell phone, get rid of her
telephone number. If you have still have
those around you'll never climb out of
your rut.
2. Make yourself take up a new interest.
You need something to fill the emptiness
you feel. Even going to a gym--physical
exercise is a good way to get exhausted
and fall to sleep (and make yourself feel
better). You'll meet people who will have
at least one thing in common with you and
that's a way to begin friendships with
both men and women.
3. Find a way to enjoy one thing each
day. It doesn't have to be anything
big--a pretty sunrise, a song on the
radio, something in a store window,
whatever. If you can find a bit of
happiness in your sorrow you know you'll
feel better.
4. Whenever you feel a thought about her
coming on, get it out of your mind and put
something else in there. It will be
difficult initially but over time she will
become a distant memory. Don't let your
sadness continue to rule your life.
Hope these few things help.
Good luck and do keep
posting.
Thank you very much for the advice. For
your information, I'm 23 years old and she
was my first crush. I guess "the first cut
is the deepest". That's why i'm having
problem to forget her. I feel like a
pathetic loser because i'm stuck and can't
move on. Maybe it was my fault that she
rejected me...i don't fully understand the
situation though.
Yes, i have deleted her photos, cellphone
number, email and messages long time ago.
Now i'm trying hard to delete her from my
mind,which is the hardest part. She's
living in the same town with me. So,
sometimes i will bump into her with
boyfriend somewhere in the town. I really
feel sad whenever i see her face. I plan
to work in other town or country right
after i graduated from university
(Currently, I'm a post-graduate student),
which is two years from now. So that i
don't have to see her again. Do you think
it's a good idea to forget someone and
move on?
I lost my confidence and self-esteem now
too. Life's so hard..
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-10-08 01:57am
MMAFighter
wrote:
Yes, I've been rejected by
girls too...In fact, I've never been on a
date, went to a school dance (uh, Tolo is
tonight, I'm not going), had a girlfriend,
or kissed a girl. Just try to find
something else to do like studying or
working out, I prefer working out since it
puts less strain on ur already confused
mind.
Thanks for the advise pal. I agree with
you that studying and working out will
help. But the thought about her will come
back in no time. For example, listening to
song, going out to some places, going to
bed, etc. Sometimes I just can't help to
think about her. The more i try to forget,
the worst it gets...I'm trying to think
optimistic though. Someday i'll find my
true happiness.
|
MMAFighter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 378 Location: WA, USA
Posted: 02-10-08 11:27am
Yes, life is going to be hard for you for
quite some time now despite your measures
taken to forget about her. Hopefully
another girl comes into ur life and takes
the place she had in ur heart.
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-10-08 11:33am
MMAFighter
wrote:
Yes, life is going to be
hard for you for quite some time now
despite your measures taken to forget
about her. Hopefully another girl comes
into ur life and takes the place she had
in ur heart.
Yea, i hope so. Anyway, thank you for the
words of comfort. I really appreciate it.
|
entices1
Supporter
Joined: 25 Apr 2007 Posts: 120 Location: North Florida, USA
Re: Rejected by a girl Posted: 02-10-08 15:29pm
In your case it is *absolutely* the thing
to do to forget her and move on.
You are not a pathetic loser--everyone,
but *everyone* goes through something like
this. There are lessons to be learned
from this and you will see them in time.
You're right, life is very difficult right
now, but you must make yourself move on.
Holding on to a memory can be very
de--de--de-something. Destructive?
Damaging? The word won't come to me.
You are fortunate in that you are in uni
and can put yourself into your studies.
Are you doing straight research or are you
still in classes? If you're in classes,
maybe you can organize a study group and
meet people that way. It will help a
great deal.
A relationship will come when you least
expect. That's what happened to me. I
never planned on getting married. I met
this guy when I was 33 and our courtship
lasted for five years (we both wanted to
be certain).
One other thing--do everything you want to
do as soon as you can once you can afford
it. My First True Love and I had goals
that I ended up doing before I ever got
involved again. I'm glad I did them
because now I can't (live too far, lack of
time and/or money, whatever).
Good luck, and do keep posting.
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Re: Rejected by a girl Posted: 02-11-08 00:50am
entices1
wrote:
In your case it is
*absolutely* the thing to do to forget her
and move on.
You are not a pathetic loser--everyone,
but *everyone* goes through something like
this. There are lessons to be learned
from this and you will see them in time.
You're right, life is very difficult right
now, but you must make yourself move on.
Holding on to a memory can be very
de--de--de-something. Destructive?
Damaging? The word won't come to me.
You are fortunate in that you are in uni
and can put yourself into your studies.
Are you doing straight research or are you
still in classes? If you're in classes,
maybe you can organize a study group and
meet people that way. It will help a
great deal.
A relationship will come when you least
expect. That's what happened to me. I
never planned on getting married. I met
this guy when I was 33 and our courtship
lasted for five years (we both wanted to
be certain).
One other thing--do everything you want to
do as soon as you can once you can afford
it. My First True Love and I had goals
that I ended up doing before I ever got
involved again. I'm glad I did them
because now I can't (live too far, lack of
time and/or money, whatever).
Good luck, and do keep
posting.
Thanks for the reply. Actually, I'm doing
straight research so I'm not attending any
classes anymore. Though i have to meet my
professor few times a month and go to the
library. The university brings memories
about her too 'cos this is the place where
i first met her.In fact, we used to be in
the same class in 1st degree. Back then
she treated me nicely and gave me hope.
Well, it turned out to be a false hope.
Now she's not further her study anymore,
which is a good thing cos i don't have to
see her in campus. This will help me to
forget her.
I really wish i could bring back my
feelings during high school. Back then i
was happy and didn't have any problem with
relationship. Now it is totally different.
I'm wondering why the one i fancy never
fancies me...
I do agree with you that things will
happen when we least expect. Guess i
expect too much in the past. Some lessons
are incredibly hard to learn. Maybe i will
go traveling if i can afford it.
|
MMAFighter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 378 Location: WA, USA
Posted: 02-11-08 00:54am
Yes, I also need to learn that wonderful
things will happen when we least expect
them. Sometimes I let my frustration with
having been single my whole life (not to
mention never being kissed, going to a
school dance, or having been on a date)
ruin my attitude, but hopefully I get more
positive.
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-11-08 01:05am
MMAFighter
wrote:
Yes, I also need to learn
that wonderful things will happen when we
least expect them. Sometimes I let my
frustration with having been single my
whole life (not to mention never being
kissed, going to a school dance, or having
been on a date) ruin my attitude, but
hopefully I get more
positive.
Honestly, I don't have that kind of
problem when i was at your age. I mean i
was happy at that time even though i never
went to a school dance, been on a date,
etc. I only have that kind of problem
after i've been rejected 2 years
ago...scary experience! I really wish you
will find your true love in near future!
Good luck buddy!
By the way, are you a shy person? Why u
skipped school dance?
|
MMAFighter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 378 Location: WA, USA
Posted: 02-11-08 01:28am
I don't like school dances. I'm
self-conscious about my dance skills since
I have none and I also never get asked at
Tolo (girls ask guys) and I don't have the
guts or interest to ask anyone to
Homecoming.
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-11-08 01:43am
MMAFighter
wrote:
I don't like school dances.
I'm self-conscious about my dance skills
since I have none and I also never get
asked at Tolo (girls ask guys) and I don't
have the guts or interest to ask anyone to
Homecoming.
Oh i see...i feel sorry for you. Sounds
like u are pretty shy person. I'm sure
Tolo or Homecoming is more than dancing. I
bet there are a lot of activities in there
that suited you. Anyway, don't worry too
much mate, sometimes u would wish u are
not in a romantic relationship. Being
single is not too bad rite?
|
MMAFighter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 378 Location: WA, USA
Posted: 02-11-08 09:36am
lol, it seems bad when u've never been
romantically involved before
|
jimbo101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-12-08 00:53am
MMAFighter
wrote:
lol, it seems bad when u've
never been romantically involved
before
lol..i think so. I'm not really sure. Mix
feelings.
