How to help a friend after rehab? Posted: 02-09-08 15:30pm
I'm not sure really what to expect since
I'm very clueless to what he has been
going through for the 30 days he has been
away.
We don't live too far but far enough and
so our only contact is on the computer and
phone calls.
What are some of the things I should
expect or help him with?
Will he be taking prescriptions pills to
help with the jitters etc? or should that
have been treated already?
I know everyone is different in their
recovery but I just need to know how to
approach helping him and any help would
great;y be appreciated.
Thanks Everyone
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Recovery Posted: 02-09-08 15:50pm
I've been clean & sober since 1991.
Here are my ideas to help a friend:
Just be there.
Love him unconditionally.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Don't be judgemental.
Maintain personal boundries.
He's very lucky to have a friend who cares
enough to find out how to be prepared to
help him with his new life. I wish you
both well!
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caligirl69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 02-09-08 16:04pm
All of these things are great advice thank
you so much!
I'm really not sure how his family will be
as far as supporting him, they all drink
and his brother the one that I would say
he is closer to is a alcoholic himself.
I will be there for him and I think he
really does know that, I think it gave him
some confidence in going through it.
I'm not sure how long ago it was but he
said that he went through rehab before and
he failed because he did it for every
reason but for himself.
Congratulations on your new life!
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Old Timer Posted: 02-09-08 16:28pm
It will likely be difficult even when
rehabbing for himself, his own reasons.
It sounds like he will have to look for
support outside of his close family.
Doesn't mean he has to cut them off
entirely, but he will have to use good
judgement & trust his own inner voice
in dealing with them. I personally
believe our inner voice, our instinct, is
our best guide for anything we face.
I might suggest that if he's afraid of
failing this time that he should remind
himself that he is a different person now,
he's in a different place mentally &
now he has a good friend in you who's got
his back.
Anyway . . . I just signed up here a
couple of weeks ago so I'm not sure how
this works, but I think you can email me
or whatever if you want.
RE: my new life? I'm a totally different
person now. People who find out about my
past are completely surprised!
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caligirl69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 02-09-08 18:00pm
I totally agree with what you have said
about his family, I think it was really
hard for him to tell them, I think he felt
like they would try to detour him or down
play his problem.
Inner voice, I so agree with this so much
it has been the only thing I have been
able to hold onto.
It's been very hard for me to keep on a
straight road myself since the accidental
death of my only child June 24th 2006.
I knew if I didn't keep pushing forward I
would fall back and the fact that everyone
wants to give you depression meds for my
loss doesn't help.
We are all so different than people knew
of us most the time it's because they have
only known the drug of choice not who is
crying inside to get out.
I'll check out this site for PM or email.
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1179 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 02-09-08 18:20pm
Is he still living with his family? If he
is, is there any friends (preferably
sober) that he can move in with? Being
around other alcoholics is one of the main
downfalls of an alcoholic which can mess
up their recovery.
Being there for him is the most important.
Just be as good of a friend as possible.
Listen to him, talk to him, and make sure
he knows that he is cared for deeply and
has someone to go to if he ever needs to
talk to anyone.
If you are willing, tell him you have your
phone on at all hours and that he
shouldn't hesitate to call if he is
scared, lonely, or upset, or even just
wants to chat. Having that should be a
really reassuring support system for him.
Also, if you want, maybe you could try
attending some AA meetings with him (even
if you don't have a problem with it
yourself). Going to these alone can
sometimes be scary for some people,
especially for the first few times, so he
might like the support. If he'd rather go
alone, at least he knows the offer is out
there and that you cared to think of it
for him.
I am sorry about the loss of your child,
by the way. That must have been terribly
hard on you.
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to
chat. My dad is an alcoholic and has been
through over 15 rehabs, so I have been
through this before many times. I know
it's tough, but you are doing a GREAT job
of wanting to be there for him and be such
a good friend.
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-13-08 13:54pm
How are you doing, Cali? Did your friend
return from rehab?
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caligirl69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Hi All Posted: 02-13-08 14:35pm
My friend does live with his family for
now but wants to get his own place, I know
he was waiting until he got through all
this to move to the next level.
I'm waiting for him to get out now, I
think it should be this weekend and I'm a
little worried about the outcome. I hope
that I can be the strength that he needs
or wants.
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-13-08 14:50pm
Maybe there's a social worker at rehab who
could help find him someplace to stay.
There are group homes for people in
recovery.
Look at it this way, he had the power
within to decide to go to rehab and stick
with it. He's got a pretty good chance of
staying sober if he continues to tap into
it.
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caligirl69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 02-13-08 15:05pm
Yeah I have been watching Intervention and
saw a few of the homes that were being
offered for people, very nice options.
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