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3 failed relationship and anxious

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kid

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
3 failed relationship and anxious
Posted: 02-11-08 12:40pm

Im 22 years old... when i was 13, my mom left our home, leavin my father, my sister and me all alone, and went to live to another state because she was tired of all the things happenin at our home at the moment. She always kept in contact with me and my syster, but i was not the same anymore.. i never looked for professional help, all these years.. since then i ve had many meaningless relationships till i met someone that i fell in love.. we had a 4 year relationship... till she cheated on me and left me... i had a break down.. but still was convinced that i could take all of that and continue livin peacefully once again i did not look for help... then like 8 months after we broke, i met started a relationship with a friend of mine, but it also failed.. so i come to you.. finally asking for help.. its there somethin wrong with me.. the 3 most important women that ive ever loved.. left me without even thinkin how i was going to feel.. what can i do? know am afraid to even meet new girls... i decided to give me a long time alone. but sometimes i get really depressed and anxious...

please help me
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mominashoe

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Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 1534
Location: , USA
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Posted: 02-11-08 20:08pm

Don't blame yourself for the actions of others. You are not responsible for your mother leaving you at a young age. That was irresponsible on her part...but understandable at the same time because being a mother, no matter how good the kids are, is the hardest job in the world. I don't give an excuse for her, just want to show you that people can be weak and give in to what they themselves want more than what is their duty.

People do not value things the way they used to. People are no longer in for the long run and are afraid to commit. Look at the divorce rate in this country! People are always looking for something new and better and are never satisfied with what they have. I speak in a general manner and don't wish to stereotype or accuse any particular person.

There is nothing wrong with you or what you are doing as far as I can tell (because I don't know you personally I can't do more than give you some advice which tends to be more objective than personal). You are only 22, and this is still a young age. You have only been with 2 different girls, and this is a very small number! Some people must date many different girls before they find the right one. I have a cousin who is in the same situation as you: he went out with one girl for a while and it failed, another he was engaged to and it failed. He now thinks he should just remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. He is the same age as you.

Both of you should be glad that the one who wasn't the right one for you is now out of your life and you can move on, closer to the one who is!

It might be that you expect too much of the people whom you are dating, I don't know. But be sure that there are plenty of others out there to date, and the right one is going to be there when the time is right. Don't be too depressed about it: it's a normal part of dating. It's hard saying goodbye to one and not knowing whether the one you choose next is going to be around for a while or you are going to have to say goodbye to that person too. That's the dating life.... you will get lucky sometime, so chin up. Smile
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