Depression Forum - My lifes over, feeling hopeless

I am no teenager, i'm in my forties so please no teens trying to compare hating a class or something to my life because if I had a small problem I wouldn't be here, I would fix it. When I was growing up my fantasy (goals) about adulthood was just to get a good job that paid well, buy that house with the fence, get married and have kids. Back then you could pretty much get into most fields even with no experience and if you worked hard you could make it.

After high school my goal was to join the Army and have a career as a mechanic and after I got out of the military apply my skills to either get my own business or get a good job and settle down. Well after about five years the military started an equal opportunity push and all the white guys like me started getting passed over for promotions. Eventually we were told to our faces we wouldn't be promoted anymore because we were white males. Eventually I was forced out.

In the civilian world businesses everywhere started the same thing but age discrimination was also added in. people everywhere with seniority started waking up to find no jobs waiting, while younger and less skilled workers got their jobs for far less money. When I got out every employer laughed at my military background and told me to come back when I received civilian training and experience. Catch twenty two, no jobs without experience and no training unless you already had a job in your new field. Entry level jobs soon disappeared at least for people like me but if you could speak spanish, automatic job, even if you could not read and write in English, or had no verifiable background or experience. They can even get a drivers license with an expired passport, while me with six forms of ID get turned away and still have to bring a filing cabinet the next time it needs renewing.

Every job field I qualified to get into soon squeezed people like me out. During my civilian years many employers have told me to my face they don't hire whites, wouldn't because of my age or sex, ore a combination of them. So while these reasons to discriminate might be illegal if another group received them like blacks, females, spanish speaking,etc there is no law anywhere to protect people like me since equal opportunity laws were designed not to treat everyone equally. These laws were to deny people like me from further opportunities so others, even when completely unqualified for a position could take our places, for far less money. Businesses everywhere took advantage of these laws to combine jobs, cut salaries, and to decrease or eliminate benefits like retirement and health care, and to ship job opportunities overseas.

Anyway I eventually found myself being denied opportunity after opportunity because I was an older white guy. So since I don't have a career field to fall back on I am stuck with no employable skills or experience. Many skills I did have are years outdated. Education, I have tried many times and each worthless, since no education is worth anything unless an employer is willing to hire and train entry level candidates, today most will not unless your're of high school age like my son.

I love my wife dearly however, she was married once before and afterwards got fixed and cannot have kids anymore. Now one my dreams was always to have kids of my own so I never will. So here I sit in my forties, my wife works, my son even works and will soon go to college. Me I will never be employable because I'm either to old, the wrong sex, the wrong race, not experienced, no current training, no references, and no verifiable background, or whatever other reason you can toss in. Life has passed me by despite my attempts to particapate. I am now completely useless and am sure I will be a burden on my wife for the rest of my days.

When I have mentioned these problems before most just cannot understand my problems since they have never walked a mile in my shoes. While my dear wife has been extremely supportive, even she does not understand my problems. However recently she was purposely fired from a job because she was the only American citizen there, so she is starting to understand. Some in online forums have called people like me a cry baby and tell people like me to be silent. I refuse to go silently, but feel I will be useless for the rest of my life. I have tried everything but am out of options, I guess I have to except that I will never be employable again, and that everything I wanted to achieve in life will never happen. Well at least there is that last constant, we all die sooner or later. Its probably a good thing I don't believe in suicide, or own a gun. Then again that would be to easy, life is determined to have me suffer as long as possible. So sitting in the shadows and suffering mostly in silence is my punishment in life. Crying
or Very sad

Wanted to add in we are drowning in dept, rent is overdue, bills are piled high and I feel its all my fault because I can't find any job even if my life depends on it. I feel my situation is hopeless and it's all because I have failed at everything I have ever tried to do. Embarassed