Nikki Here Are the Answers to Your Questions

Ok well many of the small details are true, I am 18 my
birthday is 1-12-86. My mother is an obgyn and had me
young, she is currently 35 pregnant with
my baby sister. I work as a clerk at a law office.
Nicolette also exists but she is not as evil as i
portrayed her, she didn't take austin away from me
alot of that I have learned in recent moha and counsel
sessions. Last march I was dating tom, this
wonderfully sweet, compassionate man. Austin had
transfered to our school. I was sooo infatuated with
him. Austin was dating nicolette at the time. Well we
had all went to a party, when nic became tired and
wanted to leave, so a girlfriend of her's took her
back home and austin stayed at the party. That was the
beginning of our relationship. When my period didn't
come for march or april I took a test, it came back
positive. I was so happy and so was he. Come july
austin decided that he didn't want to be with me
anymore because he was still inlove with nic but he
would try to help with the baby as much as possible.
For the next 2 weeks everytime I would call him, he
would answer and then avoid answering questions and
then have to go suddenly. It came to the point where
at school he would avoid me by taking different halls
to class and blocking my phone number on his cell. I
wasn't asking for much just that he come to see me and
go to prenatal appointments to see his baby! I was so
devestated and crying everyday. At the end of those 2
weeks I was soo tired of crying and tired of being
rejected, I went into my bathroom and in my medicine
cabinent was about a million prescription drugs. Alot
were narcodics that I had stopped taking when I got
pregnant. I ended up swallowing 4 bottles full of
medicines. The next 3 days that followed were
horrible. I went through 3 days of tearing, burning
and contractions. I couldn't do anything to stop the
pain and they wouldn't give me anything because of the
reaction it might have on me and the baby. By time the
pain did subside, I thought that the baby was fine, i
mean the pain stopped and I had little bleeding. A u/s
showed that the baby had died in utero and they had to
induce a miscarriage. So for another week I was in
excrusiating pain and agony as my baby's flesh tore
within me. But because I was a suicide risk that week
i didn't get to spend in the hospital in the comfort
ward. I had to spend that week and the week following
in the psychward. Austin never came to visit. It was
like he never cared. When nicolette became pregnant,
it was so hard on me. Mainly because austin is
gloating about her and their son to be. With me he
never talked about the baby, never took me places,
just tried to hide everything away. Like an unwanted
toy that he didn't want to play with anymore. I was no
longer 103lbs, so what? Well to him I was just a toy,
a model so to speak, he just wanted to show off what
he had to play with. He really loves nic it shows in
the way he looks at her and rubs her belly. And I am
still angry and hurt by it all. Now with this baby,
and the counseling and moha meetings, I think I can
finally grow into my skin. Tom is real happy about
being a dad, he is nervous but that is normal. And if
he does decide to leave me, well I have my mother,
carlie and patrick to help.