To Homerx February 17, 08

Mson, can you tell me what the prayer means...PM me if you don't want to say here...the post is gone now... but Bobbie, don't worry about it...no big deal.

Homerx,

Hope this finds you well.

I speak, write and read three languages fluently. Gikuyu, Kiswahili and English. Sometimes when I am writing I switch from one language to the other. Especially when I am passionate about something. That is what happened there.

Today I spent the morning filling out my immigration forms and I am still a long ways away from completing. I have to write down all my education. Organizations I belong to, where I have worked in the last ten years and where I have lived in the last ten years. How I am expected to remember all that is beyond me. Luckily I had done this type of application a few years ago and I have all the details. They don't want a gap anywhere everything must flow from month to month year to year.

Anyway, the whole process brought me back to when I started to live with beloved husband (BH). We knew we were going out on June 29, 03. We had been friends for 4 years before them. I continued to pay rent for my rooming house but lived with BH for six months at first. Then I moved from my rooming house into BH's bachelor permanently.

In total, I was there for a full year. Two people sharing a bachelor and a twin bed. It was a tough year because we lived in a mess. No matter how much I tried to clean up, the place was always untidy. We needed to move. I had a mental breakdown and wanted to jump off the balcony. The place was getting smaller and smaller. BH was not suffering like me. He is so sweet. He says home is where I am. This song mbae Bob Marley kept us going.

Bob Marley

I wanna love you and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!
I got to know - got to know - got to know now!

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able,
So I throw my cards on your table!
I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.

Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Wo-o-o-oah! Oh yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!
Yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able,
So I throw my cards on your table!
See: I wanna love ya, I wanna love and treat ya -
love and treat ya right.
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together, with a roof right over our heads!
We'll share the shelter of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! Jah provide the bread.
We'll share the shelter of my single bed -

Luckily, our friend got work in the mainland and we took up his lease. We got a place with a loft. We still live there and I like it more and more each day. We've been at our present location since July, 2004 and finally feeling at home. We decluttered about five months ago and that really helped us.

We don't have any plans of moving unless we have an addition to our family whenever God wills.

Just a thought brought about mbae filling out immigration forms. Hope all goes well. I will keep working on the forms until I am done and then hand them over to the lawyer. Hopefully he sends them off and then it is the waiting game.

Ya Mungu ni mengi. This is Kiswahili for, "There is a lot about God."

I hope Bobbie is alright.

Love
Mson

From now on Mson, that is whom you will be called.

You are such a caring and inspiring person. Your paper work will go through. For sure. You are a gift and treasure to your new country. Canada may be your new country, Kenya your beloved home/birth country, but we are of one earth and I am so glad that I share it with someone as eloquent as you.

I pray for you for a special child to share with BH. You are still a young woman and deserve God's gift of a child to add to your wealth of love and understanding. Wouldn't Jessy just love that? I know that she would. It is only the good and the best of us who only have to stay here for a short time. I am going to pray for you each and every day that God will bring to you only the best of all good things. Kiss your BH and love each other.

There is no amount of money, property, possessions, admiration from others that can come close to love from someone who loves you in return. You are blessed Mson.

Bobbie

Hi my friends...hope 2 day is a great day for you. I have been busy today with laundry and cleaning and of course puppies... Lord help me, they are getting so cute and so lively now... they sleep and eat and play and poop and P and sleep and play and eat....just 2 cute.
I was going to go to town today but decided to wait till tomorrow as I have nothing pressing to do...nothing that cant wait. So today I will exercise and clean and do laundry and change the bed and blah blah blah.... boring,huh?
OK, talk to yall later and have a great and blessed day today...
xoxoxo,homerX

Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)

Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:

Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
http://www.youtube.co m/watch?v=rnDrbagYm24

HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!!
ONE LOVE h ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uteBX4_wxXk& amp;feature=related
One Love, One Heart
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One Love)
Hear the children crying (One Heart)
Sayin' give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Sayin' let's get together and feel all right

Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love)
There is one question I'd really like to ask (One Heart)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own?
Believe me

One Love, One Heart
Let's get together and feel all right
As it was in the beginning (One Love)
So shall it be in the end (One Heart)
Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
One more thing

Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One Love)
So when the Man comes there will be no no doom (One Song)
Have pity on those whose chances grove thinner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation

Sayin' One Love, One Heart
Let's get together and feel all right
I'm pleading to mankind (One Love)
Oh Lord (One Heart)

Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right

Thank you for sharing. You and Mson are real pioneers out there helping people with your words of hope and encouragement. God bless you and keep you strong in your quest my friends.

Tonight on NBC, they said there are 800 million people on this planet hungry. Anybody see that movie "The Girl In The Cafe"? Another person who stood up for her beliefs and was willing to speak up for world hunger.

I know this should be posted on another topic, but as you are now my official heros for all that you do for others suffering from HIV/AIDS, I just want to commend you for the countless hours you give to others. You don't have to be doing this. You have a real caring, a calling to help others. God bless you for that.

Your friend always,

Bobbie

You are one with us, Bobbie...a hero and humanitarian also...

Got yet another invoice from my former BF's GF. Had explained that is one small condition that I ask. Don't send that to me. Did anyway.

Anyway, talked to my priest today and told him the whole story. The pressure on me getting a loan on my house, the overcharge of $20,000.00 and even the HPV. He said he felt it all comes down to the lack of trust. How true is that to all of us who have fallen for the wrong person, for the wrong reason, to then wind up with a STD? I am sure that I won't be the first, nor the last person to have this happen to them.

As Homer advised the young man from England, people use protection. We all live in a world where your entire life can change in a moment. Protect yourselves. It is your lives you are talking about here.

Bobbie

AMEN to that! Thank GOD we are still around to advise others...always...ALWAYS use protection. It doesn't matter how hot the person is or if they say they love you and have never been with a single other person, do not put your life or your health in some one else's hands.
I am glad, Bobbie, that you had that talk with your priest. I hope it helped.

It has been a hectic week. I managed to fill out my immigration application forms mbae Tuesday and handed them to the lawyer. I am just waiting to hear from them and then the forms can be sent out.

Yesterday was a fine day with me working in the afternoon. I paid the bills and the rent.

The girl who is visiting is still here. She is healing from an abscess on her back. As long as we don't leave her alone in the house, everything is fine.

I am having cereal this morning. Then I am going to skip rope. Do dishes from last night. I have been lazy in doing dishes at night and I MUST rectify that behaviour. That and I need to do showering at night. I must get my life in order. It just takes a few days for the schedule to fall behind. May the Lord help.

After the dishes I am going to the smudge and light the candle. It should then be time to go to work. From work I will go to the labyrinth and pray for my friends and family including yourselves.

It is better I get on with my day.

http://www.youtube.co m/watch?v=LnA0gffqpXE

Love
Mson

I love that song...Bryan Adams is great..thank you,Mson...enlightening and good way to start the day.....have a wonderful day...I 2 must get myself together and get back on schedule ...it doesn't take long to get off track. I think I slept too much and too hard last night because I am still groggy and the cup of coffee didn't help as much as it usually does...xoxo,me

I skipped rope, a hundred and fifity times. I went upstairs and got rid of the robe. Dressed and did a smudge. Lit the candle for God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. The same candle was for those who have died of homicide and HIV/AIDS. I lit the candle for the spirit world. For familes and friends. For our niece who is being treated for cancer. One candle one light.

I managed to do most of the dishes. I still have to do the pots and pans.

My day is going well. When I came into work the boss asked me if I wanted to smoke a J. I said yes and as we were puffing, he asked how I was doing and I said that I was doing well and nothing was worrying me. He said I looked happier these days. That was quite the compliment. He said it was nice to see me at the 420 gathering on Sunday. He asked if my beloved husband (bh) was there and I said yes he was. He left for the gathering earlier than me and it was hard to find him in a crowd of over a thousand people.

In exactly an hour I will be out of work and gone to the labyrinth.

I'll write you later
With love
Mson.

Another thing that connects us. Bryan Adams is one of my all time favorite singers. He is going to be playing at the Mid-State Fair with Rod Stewart. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. I would love to go but probably won't spend the money.

Yes, talking to my priest about all that happened, even in part, made me feel better. There is a lot more to that story Homer and you know what it is. Like my Jesuit priest who confirmed me said, you never have to be afraid to come to confession. We have heard it all. There is nothing we have not heard or could be shocked at. Sure that is true. And, my story has been around since the beginning of time.

You know asking a person about their sexual history is exactly what I did with my former BF. I asked him if he had lots of partners because that would put me at risk. Unfortunately, like you said, in the heat of the moment people don't think straight. That was the day after we were first together. No protection. He looked me right in the eye, without blinking and said no, noone else.

People don't count on somebody to be honest with you. They are too in the heat of the moment and not thinking very clearly sometimes.

All I know is this has changed my life forever. In many ways. I wasn't looking for that relationship and kept pushing it away but it did happen. It can happen to anybody who is looking for love. Sometimes, we look in the wrong places.

Mson and Homer are living proof that you can find love in the right places. I hold them up as my very dear and special friends. Friends to so many people and helpful to so many others who come here for help.

I didn't have the slightest clue what HPV was when my doctor told me. All I heard was high risk types which can lead to cervical cancer. The cancer hit the bell because everyone on my father's side died from cancer at least for the last two generations.

It is strange how people perceive the telling of the possibility of being infected with STD's. Even this GYN I went to said, "don't let it ruin your life. It is a very common thing to have HPV." He implied don't say anything. I could never do that. I would never be able to do that to anybody as it was done to me. I would rather be alone than cause anybody to go through finding out like I did.

Mson, keep up your exercises and good nutrition. Your guest must be special to have you let her stay with you and BH.

Homer, it is the part of being a new parent with all those little lives to look after that makes you sleep so hard. That is so sweet. Thanks for the pictures. I loved them.

Bobbie

I am the luckiest man in the world...I have 2 ladies that love me! I cant begin to tell you how special you both are to me...
Well, I just put the puppies in a little clothes hamper while I cleaned there pin...they are getting bigger and beginning to go Poo Poo all over the place...and PP yuck stinkie and ...well, baby poop...you know how that smells...sorry I am being so grouse...
My head is pounding today. I hate when that happens because when I had the stroke I had a bad head ache first and now when my head hurts bad I kind of freak out thinking I am going to have another stroke and this time it could be so much worse... Lord, please, don't let me go out that way...I beg of you..!
It is getting hotter here now...I dread it. Summer here is humid and 100 degrees in the shade...I hate it..but here I am so I guess I have to make the best of it. The AC is not working right in the car or the truck..gezzz, when it rains it pours... Boy O boy, I am one big ball of sunshine today,huh? Forgive me, my friends, I should never get on line when I am having a bad day.. Oh well, it can only get better from here.
My brother has bought tickets to Boz Scaggs in Atlanta in July and I am going.. so I have something to look forward to...the puppies should all be gone by then and hopefully we will have a few extra $$$....
OK, thats my rag fest for today, sorry if I bummed any one out...
Love,Homer

Long time since I've come to say hello to you guys...I'm sorry my messages have become so sporadic!! Busy and stressed. Trying to find some kind of balance but it's one thing after another... I have developed a strange little lump on my chin, and I went to the doctor today and found out i have high blood pressure. It's 157 over something...way too high, up from what it was last time I visited the doctor, 142, and it was normal-129-before that.. And now I have a cold AGAIN!! Horrible cough, coughing up lots of green mucous..I don't think I have a fever though...
Since I'm pretty sure I'm HIV-negative, i'm chalking it up to my immune system being weakened by being overweight, stressed, lack of exercise and too much junk food..gaaaah!! Must get healthy..but I don't even know where to begin!! Well, first I need to get over this stupid cold.....

So that's my little update!! Need to rest now...Love you all!!!

Sincerely,
MA

It just takes eating good, fresh food and one day you will find yourself feeling much better. Glad to hear from you again.

Homer, you think you had a bad day? A good day by my standards. Finally fired that guy. Aren't you proud of me? Then, he is back wanting to worm back in. NO. AND THAT IS FINAL. I called the new manager who is coming out on Monday with all this documentation, insurance and copies for me. AMEN.

Take care of all of you for you are cared for, loved and held up in the palm of God's hand. For me that is so true. I honestly know when Mson and Homer pray for me.

It makes you wonder why we have come down with HIV/AIDS, HPV and other things in our journey through this life. I believe it is so we can have a small part of suffering and still be able to love and forgive. If life weren't so hard sometimes, what could we possibly learn from the experience? I am not and will never be sorry for any of the paths in my life, the bumps along the road because I always know that I will see sunrise at the top of the hill when I get there.

Love,

Bobbie

Great attitude,Bobbie....you ROCK!. And stick to your guns regarding you know who...don't let the weasel weasel his way back in...I know how hard it was for you to have to let him go but you did it now don't back down!!!

Hi MA!!! haven't heard from you in a long time. Glad you are still here and doing OK...life ... go figure,huh? Thanks again,Bobbie for the kind words and enlightenment...

I woke up at 8:36am. A guest was coming to the house to see BH. I had breakfast and sat with the cat Gandalf. I was on the computer for while and I read the above posts. What a fieldd day when there is so much to read. The writings help me evolve. My mind opens up...

Did the 150 rope skips. Wanted to start cleaning the house right away but I told myself there was no rush. I had brought the bucket in and everything. I put on the kettle and made a cup of tea. I wrote my sister in law in China and then started the cleaning after my cup of tea. I have done the bathroom and kitchen, Tidied the table and now I am waiting for the girl to wake up so that I can vacuum. Her bed is a futon martress on the living room floor.

I am not going to work today because I worked for a colleague on Wednesday. I have all day to vacuum. She is not feeling well. Has an abscess on her bum. Auoch! cannot walk around too much. But I cannot leave her here alone. Like tonight we are going to visit a couple friend of ours. She has to look for somewhere to go.

Tomorrow we are going to meet a new family member who is married mbae an uncle of the family. She comes from Thailand. But the point is, I cannot leave this girl here. Once bitten twice shy.

Bobbie, our motto is, "See A Need - Fill A Need" It is anointed since 1999. We help when we can and she knows she can come here anytime. She and BH have known each other for a long time. He used to help her then and she was a kid. I trust my BH. I trust her with him. I just don't trust her with the house. She will be snooping and such. I have to be smart with her.

This time I am not depressed like last time. I can see clearly now. She comes home with a ring and something else oh, a jacket and she says that somebody gave them to her. They could be stolen goods. Sijui (I don't know in Kiswahili).

I think I am going to go for my labyrinth walk and say my prayers and mbae then I will be like a new person. I had soup for lunch.

Love
Mson.