To Homerx February 17, 08

Thank you my 2 magical spiritual caring loving wonderful friends! I am leaving on Saturday...busy getting everything together but I will be thinking of you both. I am sure i will be able to say good bye the day before I go. I Love You both more than you will ever know!!!!!

Love your friends, the walrus and the cool, blue cat with the bird always there to give you words of wisdom and that yellow cat. Can't forget the yellow cat. Too, too cute.

Bobbie

Meeting you Bobbie and Homerx has changed my life. As I walk around or do what I do, I know you are somewhere keeping healthy. Today my dear husband and I had cinnamon buns for breakfast. The first time I have had breakfast in years. Woke and did laundry. Went for coffee with my dear husband. Then we came to the club to meet his mother. She was talking about how she would like to remain friends with father in law. they separated soon after our wedding. He had told me he was bitter and so I told her he was bitter and she replied that he told her that he has been angry since he was nine. He is now 52 and that is a lot of years to hold in anger. Lord have mercy.

I woke up at 9:10am, put on my robe and started doing laundry. Tuesday is laundry day. I have to have a routine to function in peace. I did my rope skipping, made tea, watered the plants in the home, washed the grill. Dear husband took me out for coffee. I already said that.

The time came to do a collage but I realized I did not have any glue. That is a sign that I have been busy using up blue. *Note to self, mbae glue.* I remember having a 15 minute rest which was better than nothing. From there I went to work at the medical MJ club and I just got home. We are supposed to go out and celebrate the overdraft protection. It really means alot to us because we are just two people trying to teach about HIV/AIDS prevention. Our previous bank account was closed because as we did not pay the charges. The bank was very kind to us when we paid the old balance and asked to open another account. We will try to pay the charges as much as we can but if we don't, there is something to fall on to.

I better join my husband as he watches programs downloaded from the net. We have no cable. But who cares. Maybe Homerx because he likes to watch TV. We will get cable soon.

Work was great. I was there for 3 hours and a half. I loving working there. All people with permanent physical conditions. Everybody doing their best. It rubs on to me. I dressed nicely today and I will continue to dress nice. Afterall Spring is here:)

He is ready when I am which means I am ready. Catch you later. Blessings, light and love and hope and faith...

One love, one people.

Well, I finally woke up. I must have been very tired yesterday. i went to bed early and slept late. I was so tired. But I feel more refreshed now. Am having coffee and checking my e mail. I feel nervous about going home to San Francisco. I haven't been back in 9 years. I know I will have fun but I am such a home body and never go anywhere except the post office and doctor and store. I am excited and a little nervous.
I know what you mean about having a routine. I have a routine also. It does help to know what you are going to do and how and when. A routine helps keep me in balance I think.
I am happy to hear that SAN-FAN has been approved. That is great news!
Bobbie, you like my new little friends? They are cute huh? So how are you?
OK, I better try to get some things done around here. I have to find my suitcase to start with!
Peace and Love and Prayers and Good Health and Friendship and everything that makes life worth living!

You must be getting excited about returning home to San Francisco. You will have a great time and have dinner at Zuni Cafe early so that you can go back again. I would love to have dinner there. Just don't get up there any more. Pretty much married to my vineyard and taking care of it.

We got our olive oil back on Saturday. Working on the label for it.

Muthoni glad to hear you had a good breakfast. That is so ultimately, totally important. Got to eat well. Can't just live on the air we breath, (even though you and Homer are both of the angel class, I am starting to believe that is really true!)

Love,

Bobbie

Can I order your olive oil and wine on line threw your web site? I need to look at it again......I'll go back and check it out!
P.S.Zuni is on my list!

Bobbie,

You are too kind. That a class of angels. Hahaha. I find it too funny that you include me in that class and I wonder why you are not including yourself. You are an angel to me. As much as Homerx is. Finding ehealth was finding health. Finding encouragement. Knowing that I am not the only one struggling. And you know what, it is not a struggle anymore. From when I knew how much Homerx excises, I knew I could skip rope. I had the rope. Just needed a nudge, a motivation. I used to skip then I stopped. I don't want this to happen again. I want to keep up my routine.

It is 5:13pm. I had a good day. Woke up and made eggs and toast. This is so new. I learned that my dear husband likes only one egg. I made him two because i didn't ask. And I learned that he does not like eggs that much. But I tried. I did the rope skipping, a hundred times. So much fun. Soon it was time to go to the labyrinth. I decided to go to the one I discovered recently with Pascale. It is longer. All the things I say when going in and out on the other one I can be done when going in alone and even have a quiet moment with the new one.

Went to the market and bought cereal. My dear husband (DH) loves honey nut cheerios. I like the Kellogg's cereal. We used to mabe cereal and then we stopped. It is like a graph going higher and higher and then it starts to drop. This time, I hope to keep on climbing. Kellogg's is the type kind my Ndandi bought me and the kind I used to mbae for my late daughter. I also bought milk. I had milk but it is whole (homo). Bought 2% for DH. I came home and did some crochet. Then I had to go out looking for glue to collage. I went to the shoppers drug mart but they did not have any glue stick. They had crazy glue. (hehe). With the $5 I had, I bought a stapler. Then this guy Dennis asks me if I have a business. I told him yes with my husband. He immediately got busy with other things. I seen him twice in town today. And he followed me INTO shoppers drug mart.

I went to the dollor store looking for glue but it did not work. I want glue that will hold things together. Not the crazy glue way but a good glue. I want the work to be seen mbae many. Showing off what helped me pass the day. I did some cutting of the magazines and newspapers. Then it was time to go to the bank for the signing for the ODP for SAN-FAN Educational Group. That is a gift and a half from God. Thanks to those who have been sending out good vibes for us and more.

When we got home it was my nap time. Boobie, before I joined here I did not rest. Listening to Homerx, I have given myself several days of rest in a week. One hour of rest per day. You see how one can change another and then another and so on and so forth? It is a ripple.

I got up from my nap at 4:20pm. My DH was working from a neighbours place. I went there and before too long I asked Chris if he was mad at me. Immediately he said, "what did you tell Pascale that I don't know about." I told him that I told Pascale I knew about the letter. It is a long story in which Chris wanted to leave Pascale and he wrote her a letter. He told me about it long time ago and I never told her because she was not talking to me. Even then I don't i would have told her. After I told her that I knew about the letter, I started feeling guilty and I thought Chris was mad at me which he wasn't.

I think God is working in the area of guilt and regret in my life. I have to stop this. I cannot afford to stress about anything. That is why I gather the courage to go ask. When Pascale got home, she talked about her day and then I told her about my day and I told her the reason why I was at her place. She did not seem too impressed and I hope she feels better as I feel better.

Now every time the two come to mind, I pray for them. As my Ndandi sings to me, "Why worry, when you can pray, trust in Jesus, He knows the way. Don't be a doubting Thomas, believe upon His promise, promise, why worry, worry, worry, when you can pray?

Today is Wednesday when we have calzones. DH gets a break off his cooking routine. I am just sitting here eating away and getting ready to go to my cleaning job. I have had three meals today. BRAVO! And we have cereal for tomorrow morning. This is my last day working for the people who I clean for. Hopefully I get hired mbae the people whose office I clean. If not, I am looking forward to seeing where life takes me.

It is now 6:14pm. I will be going to work at 7:00pm so that I can finish at 10:30pm and call the cleaning boss to come and get the key and the t-shirt that I have been wearing for nine months. Some people's children!

DH is very busy trying to get the television working. I am waiting patiently. I love watching commercials to see where the world is headed. We have Televison. Yay!

Must stop writing. I have to finish a draft email to my family which I will continue to write in until tomorrow when I send it. I try not to make the entries too long and it hard as I love writing. Writing clears my head. *bites a piece of clazone*

Homerx, when are you coming back? Did you find your suitcase You are too funny. I love your honesty.

Love
Mson (short for Muthoni).

That is one thing that I have learned. We can't live with regret. Regret that we have a virus, regret things are harder than we would hope they would be, just regret. That comes at us like guilt for the things we could have done better.

I say that we all are doing pretty dog gone good!!!!!! There are a lot of things worse we could have. I also believe we chose our life patterns, trials and tribulations, our parents, our families and those we are going to meet on the road to where we are going in this life.

Keep doing good and keep eating well and keep up your exercise program. Homer is a great motivator and humanitarian. I am glad to have met both of you. Eiri, too. She has a true heart when it comes to human rights.

Bobbie

Hello my friends. Yes, Eiri is a wonderful girl...she was the first person on this site that I talked to and I credit her with me coming back again and again.
Mson, I am coming back home from San Francisco on the 8th....I leave Sunday...I am so nervous!!! Or excited! Or both!!!
Bobbie, you are so right...no regrets.
OK, I will be back...I have to have some coffee and oat mill to start my day.
xoxoxoxo

expand my horizons. For that I am most glad and thankful.

Love,

Bobbie

Just a quick hello...I am off to town to do all my chores before leaving for San Fran...wish me luck!
Love you guys!

Well, I am home from town, I got everything i need for my trip....
I have to admit that I am getting very excited! Like I said I haven't been to San Francisco in 9 years and I feel I am going home away from home...
I hope you wonderful loving people have a fantastic week. I will be staying in Union Square....! My brother is paying for everything...otherwise I could not go.It is so very sweet of him to do this for me. He and his girlfriend are going also. We are going to see The Moody Blues in concert on Thursday, going to do the Bay Tour, Fishermans Wharf, Pier 39, Height and of course The Castro....so many thinks to do there.
You guys please keep an eye on the GLBT and HIV and AIDS forums for me, will you? I will not be near a computer the entire week I don't think. So keep an eye out for me if you will. Thank you.
I am going to attach a Moody Blues song, one of my favorites and when they sing it live I will think of you both....always in my thoughts, always in my prayers and always on my mind.

http://www.youtube.co m/watch?v=rlFYWRajMKY

After he had journeyed
And his feet were sore
And he was tired
He came upon an orange grove
And he rested
And he lay in the cool
And while rested, he took to himself an orange and tasted it
And it was good
And he felt the earth to his spine
And he asked, and he saw the tree above him, and the stars
And the veins in the leaf
And the light, and the balance
And he saw magnificent perfection
Whereon, he thought of himself in balance
And he knew he was

Just open your eyes
And realize the way it's always been
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start

And he thought of those he angered
For he was not a violent man
And he thought of those he hurt
For he was not a cruel man
And he thought of those he frightened
For he was not an evil man
And he understood
He understood himself
Upon this he saw that when he was of anger or knew hurt or felt fear
It was because he was not understand
And he learned compassion

And with his eye of compassion
He saw his enemies like unto himself
And he learned love
Then, he was answered

Just open your eyes
And realize the way it's always been
Just open your mind
And You will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start
-----
and this one
http://www.youtube.co m/watch?v=KFFlCXS6RKs
I woke today, I was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
Some of them are living an illusion
Bounded by the darkness of their minds
In their eyes it's nation, against nation, against nation
With racial pride
Sad hearts they hide
Thinking only of themselves
They shun the light
(shun the light)
They think they're right
(think they're right)
Living in their empty shells

Oh, can you see their bodies thrashing
(so many people, so many people)
Crashing down around their feet
Angry people in the street
Telling them they've had their fill
Of politics, people who kill

Grow... the seed of evolution
(so many people, so many people)
Revolution everyone
It's just another form of gun
To do again what they have done
Let all our brothers come and get some
(so many people, so many people)

Everywhere you go you see them searching
Everywhere you turn you feel the pain
Everyone is looking for the answers
Well look again, come on my friend
Love will find us in the end
Come on my friend
(on my friend)
We've got to bend
(got to bend)
Down on our knees and say a prayer

Oh, can you see the world is pining
(so many people, so many people)
Pining for someone who really cares enough to share his love
With all of us so we can be
An ever loving family
Have we forgotten who loves who
(so many people, so many people)
Children from a family tree
That's longer than a centipede
Started long ago when you and I
Where only love....
(so many people, so many people)

I woke today, I was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world

ONE LOVE
ONE HEART
ONE LIFE
you friend,homer

Thanks for the songs. I will listen to them and I am sure they will go on my Utube bookmarks. I will listen to them when I get home.

Had a great day yesterday and we went out to visit some friends and never got back until about 11:30pm. This morning I slept in till 10:00am. Did my meditation , made the bed and got my way to the computer. I did a hundred skips on the balcony and made tea. I was going along listening to music when I realised that I had not eaten breakfast. It was 11:30am when I had the cereal. Tomorrow I'll have something else. I'll tell you tomorrow.

After I fed myself, I did the house work. I clean every Friday. I scrubbed the bath tub, cleaned the toilet, washed the sink, put dishes away, did the few dishes that were there, wiped the counters, washed the kitchen floor (hands and knees) and I washed the bathroom floor.

I'll vacuum tomorrow as we had a guest and tomorrow I have no job to report to. I went to the labyrinth wearing my sunglasses the sun was out. On my way back, it was rainly and I had to remove the sunglasses. Enjoyed the blossoms on View Street. The Creator's painting. Just have no words to express it.

Got home and had lunch. Having breakfast seems to give me appetite. The helps as well. But I am getting hungry while before I had no appetite even if I smoked MJ. This is amazing for me and I really thank the Creator for all the tips I have gathered here and there about staying healthy. I am in a daze and I can notice that when I walk I am walking stronger and I have energy to do extra stuff. Like the other day I cleaned the top of the fridge so that we can have a place to put our different boxes of cereals. It was messy up there but not anymore.

Started an email to my family which I will send off tomorrow. Then it was time to come to work at the club. I have been here since 2:30pm. It is fun being here. There are people hanging around, Jim Hendix is playing Electric Ladyland. Seventeen minutes to go and it will be close time. I love working here and may the Creator keep me deep rooted. I have been working here since 2001 and still love it. I have grown alot being here. Especially the day thugs came in during my shift. I was a nightmare. I experienced the fear and different emotions which left me a different person.

Mbae the way, when I gave the key and t-shirt back to the man boss of the cleaning company, he asked me if I was still looking for work. He asked me in what other areas I can work in. I told him that I am a trained secretary and he said that he might have work for me on Friday. He asked if I was looking for two days a week which is exactly what I am looking for. I will make sure to state that I need to get paid. All the same, I am waiting upon the Creator to show me the next move. The boss said he had nothing to do with what happened before. The not paying.

It is 5:58pm. I have proofread and almost calling it a day. I'll write more later tonight.

God bless you
Mson.

Later tonight. (I don't know what happened here. You might read something twice).

I typed and typed and typed and I lost some of it. Anyway no problem. I was talking about my dear husband (DH). When I got home from work I asked him what was for dinner. He said harsh browns, ground beef and vegetables. He makes awesome homemade harsh browns. Then he went to the fridge and the ground beef was still frozen. I told him to put it back into the freezer. He explained that he removed it yesterday. He said he was sorry that the meat did not thaw. Then I told him, "There nothing to get mad at, nobody to get mad at and I am on my periods."

He is in the kitchen now being creative. He is making stuffing with veggies. "Give us this day our daily bread."She needs to settle down.

The cat is on my lap.

Her name is Galdalf. She has found her spot on my laps and has settled down. So today I come home from the club and I ask what's for dinner. Dear husband (DH) answered Hash browns (homemade) and ground beef and vegetables. Then he realised that the ground beef was still frozen. And I am like, "Put it back in the freezer. You must keep on top of your duties. He cooks, takes the garbage out, shop. We share with the kitty litter duties. I houseclean, do dishes (we used to have a portable dish washer but it broke. We use it as a counter extention. I also do laundry. We find this arrangement has been working for us. He said he was sorry the meat was still frozen. Poor guy. He told me he removed the beef from the freezer yesterday. When he said he was sorry, I said to him, "There is nobody to get mad at, I am on my periods..." And right then he said, "I see." He seemed to understand everything. I love him.

I had no reason to get mad. To work myself up you know. That is how I get Bi polar episodes. When I am angry, I ask myself why? lately I having been asking myself if I am hungry. When I am hungry, I get angry. I get angry faster when I am on my periods. So I have to watch myself during the moon time. No wonder I was mad at DH. *Has a sip of beer from a bottle 650ml*

I loved the first song too much. Very touching. I bookmarked it to listen among my other songs. Thanks for sharing.

You trip home reminds me of when my parents came to our wedding. I had not seen them for nine years. So I can relate somehow. They too were fortunate too that their trip was covered mbae DH's Granny and mother and father in law.

Have as much fun as you can. Let it all flow. Enjoy being away from everything and everybody.

I have not been back home since 1996. 12 years this July. I thank the Creator that He made a way for me to see my parents. I felt like I had grown taller. I definitely walked taller.

We are going to miss you. Take lot's of pictures. Mainly of you to show Ricky.

I am still up. Just too much happening with all this in my house.

Homer, have just the best trip in the world. Would you like to meet my godson, a brilliant African-American architect, his brother and his mother one of my oldest frients? Let me know. I will call them. They live in Campbell.

And, Homer and Mson, you are just doing so well. I love your spirits. There will come a day and a time when we will meet each other. I truly believe that. There is something special in the connection of our souls that I feel. You are healers, aren't you? God has given me a lot of gifts. And, I recognize the many gifts he has given to you. You know it, I know it. It is with true humility that we are able to lift up our heads to say yes. I am willing. And, I believe that you are willing. That is how it is.

I have to get off here to have a bit of dinner.

Love,

Bobbie

Bye my friends. Bobbie, i wish i could meet your friends in Campbell but unfortunately we are scheduled with something in the city just about every day. My brother has bought tours and all that stuff. maybe next time...if there is a next time. Ricky had to work a half day today so I am here alone with the doggies...my sweet little four leggers! I always miss them so much any time I go away. I snuggle with Molly and Chache sleeps at my knees, Mitzy and Lizzy on either side, all of us clustered and cuddled up together. And pore Ricky on the other side!!! LOL
I just wanted to say by again and hope you 2 have a great week. Bobbie, dont let the termites and all that mess get the better of you.Mson, keep on smiling and I will talk to you both in 8 days.
Peace and Love, Homer

Thank you, my sweet lady....thank you for your inspiration and faith and love and bravery and good karma...thank you thank you thank you.... I will be careful and have lots of fun and think of you as I go to the concert and when I toke a joint first!
Thank you and Bobbie....take care of yourself and dont fret over your home...I really believe it will all be OK.
One Love
One World ...and a better one with you 2 in it!

what can I say to such open love, kindness, compassion and human understanding? I feel blessed even knowing you Homer and Mson and others who are truly generous and kind with their sharing and lending a helping hand.

It has made such a huge impact on my life finding eHealth Forum and all of you. I feel I am going to not only make it, but, be better because of our connection.

Thank you.

Bobbie