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Boobie, we are back to Victoria. Posted: 03-02-08 23:34pm
It was very nice visiting father in law.
I told him all about quiting the cleaning
job, the timetable I use to pass my day
and the fact that I was eating breakfast.
Last night we had ribs with fries and
salad. This morning we had bacon, eggs
and toast. We had tuna sandwiches for
lunch and for dinner tonight, we had
chicken fajitas.
After breakfast this morning I went to the
beach for an hour. I thought of you
Bobbie and I thought of Homerx.
It is 8:28pm right now. I will open my
peach cider and listen to music. I want
to listen to the song, "You're a
superstar" dedicated to Boobie and
Homerx.
Reach for the sky, and hold your head up
high
For tonight, and every night, you're a
superstar
And don't you be afraid
Think of all the friends you've made
Like any other night you've got your name
in lights
You're a superstar
In a world that gives everything
Don't you know that it don't mean a thing
at all, at all
For a superstar
You gotta find a rainbow
Tell the world what everyone else knows
Don't let them tell you again about life
Cause you know you're a superstar
So reach for the sky, and hold your head
up high
For tonight, and every night, you're a
superstar
So don't you be afraid
Think of all the friends you've made
Like any other night you've got your name
in lights
You're a superstar
Everything you are today, is what you
wanna be
So don't be someone else when you be the
best so easily
If you try, and believe, my baby you'll
succeed
And your eyes will make you see
You're a superstar (x3)
So reach for the sky, and hold your head
up high
For tonight, and every night, you're a
superstar
So don't you be afraid
Think of all the friends you've made
Like any other night you've got your name
in lights
You're a superstar
You're a superstar
(and your eyes will make you see)
You're a superstar
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
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To my readers. Posted: 03-04-08 00:34am
Woke at 8:50am without alarm. That is
really good for me as I used to sleep up
to some minutes to noon. Before that I
slept all day and watched TV all night. I
still don't know if it was AIDS or my Bi
Polar.
I don't think I made tea this morning. I
was feeling a bit sluggish. I was on the
computer for a while and then I did my
hundred skips with a rope. I vacuumed
the home. Something I was supposed to do
on Friday.
DH and I made me a resume. We took it to
the club so that a friend could drop it
off. I applied for support work.
From there I took DH for lunch. I had
breakfast at the place we went.
Potatoes, two sausages, three pancakes and
bacon. I ate the whole thing. DH had a
sandwich. When we got home it was 3:15pm
and so I went for my nap. I napped until
4:45pm. When I woke up, DH was saying to
somebody on the phone that I was out. I
woke up confused and the call was about
teaching a class tomorrow. I said I could
do it in the afternoon while I actually
meant in the morning and we lost that
class.
They should have called earlier. Anyway,
that is OK.
At around 6:00pm I went to the labyrinth
and then went shopping for bread and
juice.
It is now 9:19pm. I better swallow my 9
pills. I take two pre natals. We have
been trying to conceive since we got
married in 2005. We succeeded in November
2005 but it ended up being a miscarriage.
We been trying again since then.
We use artificial insemination so that DH
is not infected with HIV. He catches the
sperms in a baggy, puts them in a needle
less syringe and injects in me. Sorry
about how graphic it is but that is how we
do it.
So I take two pre-natals, one olanzopine
at 7.5mg, Lithium, 900mg, three of them,
Nevarapine 2 pills and Kivexa for AIDS.
There is a time I was taking 13 pills so
this taking 9 pills is an improvement for
me.
My job now is to do the few dishes that
need to be done, take a shower and hit the
hay.
|
Muthoni
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To all those that read. Posted: 03-04-08 20:34pm
Hope you are having a lovely week.
This morning I woke up at 8:47am
without an alarm. I am trying to get up
at 8:45am every morning. Before this
arrangement I used to sleep up to about
noon.
I though it was Bi Polar medication but it
actually the HIV piils. Combivir makes
one fatigued. I was tired for a long time
and it is only now that I am starting to
feel energetic. I wore my robe and went
to the computer. I found an email from my
sister in Kenya. I did a hundred skips of
the rope this morning.
My family is doing well at the moment.
Since December there was unrest in the
country. I was affected because my whole
family is there. All I could do was and the Creator
indeed kept my family safe.
As I was on the computer, I remembered it
was laundry day. I stripped the bed and
did laundry, folded it and made sure it
was put away. I lit the candle that I
light everyday. It is for the Creator,
for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit and all
those who have died before including my
daughter and many friends who had AIDS. I
got ready and left for my walk.
I saw a nurse called Carol and I said hey.
She asked how I was doing and I told her
I was doing well. I told her that I was
making concious (sp) effort to take care
of myself. I told her I was doing my
best. I asked her how her son was doing
and she said he is fine and is also a
nurse at the clinic I go to. That's good
news. Like mother like son.
Then I met with Goldie. She offered me
vegetarian food but I said no. She was
using two walking sticks and I was
concerned so I stood to talk with her.
She was in a lot of pain. It was nice
being able to chat with her. When I see
people in pain I am reminded of how
fortunate I am not to have pain.
I needed to pee so bad after doing the
labyrinth and I did find relief at the
London Drugs washroom. I bought toilet
paper and paper towel. Then I went to the
market and got ground beef, milk and
sandwich meat. Got home and had a
sandwich.
Then I colored and had a short nap. Soon
it was time to come to work at the club.
I have about 25 minutes to go before
close. Here comes Tim (member here) with
my hot apple cider...
DH is making spaghetti dinner. We are
inviting our good neighbours Pascale and
Chris. They are getting married in August
and I am the maid of honor.
Life is good. - Mson
|
Roberta777
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Dear Mson and Homer, Posted: 03-04-08 21:27pm
As they say, when it rains it pours. I
have been going through some heavy stuff
with my home having water damage, from
windows and doors that leaked from the get
go. Now, they have pulled out my cherry
wood flooring to find that I not only have
mold and mildue damage but now termites.
Homer says don't worrry. I have to
consider the danger this puts into my
path. I am allergic to mold.
I really like your expressiveness Mson.
You could publish a book about your path
through all of this. Sorry I haven't
gotten back to you.
I had to clean up a lot of old wood in the
Viognier vineyard today and I started
getting kind of tired too. Then, came
back into the house and had a couple of
glasses of Domaine Chandon champagne. I
give myself the permission to sit and rest
and enjoy my wine and the wine of other
great wineries. Then off to do a blending
siminar.
I am really so proud of you for taking
care of yourself and eating well.
Sometimes, I forget to do that and it
catches up with me when I feel tired.
You have such a really sweet spirit and
can love. Homer too. Why can't this
world be a better place if there are
people in it who can love, not hate?
We need to make a pact! We will promise
to eat well, take care of ourselves, not
let anything get between us and what we
were sent into this life to be! Agree?
Love,
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
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Boobie Posted: 03-05-08 17:21pm
I am very sorry to hear about the damage
in the house and also about your allergy.
Definitely thinking about you and sending
you good vibes. Here is a short poem for
you:-
Courage
It brings hope
courage has strength
it brings faith
courage conquers hate
it brings joy
courage is will.
Ayaan Malik
May you have the will to handle what is
going on. It must be expensive to fix
everything. Hope you handle the stress.
Nice of you to sit down and enjoy a glass
of wine. I'll talk to you later. Love,
Mson.
|
Roberta777
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Thanks Mson Posted: 03-05-08 23:02pm
You have felt and read my spirit. I will
do my best. The window people, Pozzi,
they are being under threat of lawsuits
from putting in windows and doors that
fail and let water come into people's
homes.
Pray for me Mson. I want to work with
these people. I don't want to go to
court. If they will meet me halfway, I
will work with them. I know that it is
how life works.
Love,
Bobbie
And keep up your exercise and good diet
girl and your beloved husband too. Also,
for Homer. Homer get home!
|
Muthoni
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Bobby Posted: 03-07-08 00:01am
I have been praying for you. I hope
everything works out well for you. May
the matter be settled sooner than later.
I hope that you don't get overwhelmed mbae
all these things. As it is written, "I
know the plans I have for you. Plans for
good and not for evil."
Today I woke up at 9:30am. I had
the alarm set for 8:45am but my body
needed another 45 minutes. I came to the
computer, skipped rope, got ready and went
to work at the MJ club. Came
home and went to see the Bi Polar doctor.
I gave him a copy of my timetable for the
record. He said that he sees I write a
lot and asked what I write about. I told
him that I write about my everyday life.
A journal.
Soon after Pascale (neighbour) and I went
looking for crinoline. She took me to
drop some papers at the disability office.
We got home and had some hearty soup. I
am enjoying a glass of beer. My plan is
to wash dishes, shower and read a bit
before bed time. It is 9:01pm.
|
Roberta777
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I am proud of you Mson Posted: 03-07-08 00:06am
You are honestly making good progress!!
Every day a bit more and more as you get
stronger and stronger. It will all come
to pass. And, we will be the better for
it.
Love,
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
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Posted: 03-07-08 14:18pm
Thanks Bobbie. It is amazing how you can
raise above your problems and have time to
say useful words to a person. May a
miracle happen about your housing. May it
not be strenuous doing what you have to
do. I am praying for you that the will of
the Universe be done. You must travel
this road but know you are not a lone.
You are lifted up Bobbie.
Just woke up around 9:45am. It is house
cleaning day so I am wearing my tights and
a blouse. My DH could not get his arms
off me. (hehe) He says I look great and
that I have a good shape. What wonderful
things to hear in the morning? Makes my
day.
I drafted a letter this morning to get
reimbursement for the Port Alberni
Conference. So I have accomplished
something today As a t-shirt says,
"I am out of bed and dressed what else do
you want?" Anyway, I will put the kettle
on, do some skipping and then I will start
cleaning our home. It has been three
months since we de-cluttered our home and
rented storage for 15$ a month. We have
really kept it up and it does feel like
home. The other day I removed things on
the dining table and soon I will work on
the computer desks. I want to live
clutter free.
Before hand we had this huge TV stand.
Very old and very old computer desks. In
December, we used credit to mbae a new TV
stand, and two computer desks. Our
neighbour and friend Chris and his girl
Pascale helped us clean up. We put
everything in one room, cleaned the empty
area then moved the things to the clean
area and cleaned the other room. We
didn't work on the loft - only downstairs.
We threw garbage bags of clutter out.
Took stuff to the Salvation army and put
other stuff in storage. The place became
new and I have started to settle down. I
have the feeling that I love this home. I
am no longer ashamed when guests come in.
Soon it will be four years since we moved
here and for all that time, I did not feel
at home.
Kettle has boiled. I better make
tea...10:42am.
Haven't had breakfast yet. I must have
some cereal before I start cleaning. I
will serve myself now... Really enjoying
my breakfast. I am making effort to have
breakfast daily. On Wednesday when I went
to the radio station at the University to
have my story recorded, the test question
the lady asked me was what I had for
breakfast. And on that day, I had not had
any breakfast.
DH has gone to post the receipts on his
way to his walk. Very kind of him. He is
a good man. He loved me with my AIDS, my
Bi Polar and my past. Such unconditional
love. He edifies me. And I him.
Bobbie, sometimes I spell your name as
Bobby and I apologize.
The tea is great. I finished eating my
bowl of cereal. It reminds me of when I
was kid and we would have cereal, I even
remember having pancakes, eggs and
sausages. It was in the late 60's and my
Ndandi had come back from studying in
Europe. He knew the Caucasian ways. It
is funny now I am heading to be forty
years old and I am back to what my
parent's used to do for us as a family.
This was all before age eight.
I am remembering. Life wasn't always hell
My mother could
not have been depressed at that time
because I remember her being up and
cooking breakfast. I think she got
depressed later after my Ndandi lost his
job with the Bata shoe company. Then all
hell broke loose.
It is 11:03am now and I have been out of
bed for a while. That is success and as
Bobbie said, we keep trying and we get
stronger and stronger. It is true. It is
like washing dishes at night and showering
at night. I started doing those two
things in the New year 2008. In January I
did not do very well but in February, it
was a success and now I cannot imagine
going to bed without doing dishes or
showering. It is no longer a chore, it is
something I want to do.
Finish tea, skip, clean the house. DH has
gone to visit Chris so I have the place to
myself. I will put on loud music and
clean away.
Peace out
Mson.
|
Roberta777
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I Just Love The Way You Write And Express Yourself Mson Posted: 03-07-08 20:05pm
You honestly have the gift of writing, the
gift of understanding, and the gift of
making me want to read each and every next
word you put down on paper. Now, not many
are given all that!! All of us receive
gifts, gifts of different types to make it
all work out in our world, in our lives
and in our connection to one another.
Honestly, I feel you have made a very
conscious choice to take care of your
body, which is your temple, care for it
and I really hear you about getting rid of
the clutter to make your space better and
more breathable. When my husband and I
decided to sell our home which we had
lived in for 25 years, it took me six
months and many trucks from St. Vincent de
Paul to haul away stuff. We moved into a
much smaller home, no clutter and we were
happy as larks.
Now, back here, once again, I can't turn
around for the clutter. I really have to
do something about it. My poor children
don't deserve to have to face all this
stuff. My problem is I always can see a
use for something down the road. I will
have to live to be 150 years old to use up
all these things.
My dear late husband used to try to have
me get rid of antiques and wood that I
have hung onto for over 30 years.
Couldn't do it. Next my former BF. I
told him, if my husband couldn't get me to
throw that out, good luck to you!! Mson,
it is still in the garage.
Love,
Bobbie Smiles, Hugs and Joy To You
|
Muthoni
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Bobbie my dear! Posted: 03-08-08 23:53pm
Bobbie, you are very
humorous and it is so refreshing reading
from you.
Thanks for your compliments about writing.
I hope to
keep writing for a long time. It keeps me
going and helps clear my mind. It has
really helped me with my Bi polar. Helped
stopped the mind from racing. I wrote
until I caught up with the present. There
was a time I was leaving in the past. It
was for many years that I lived there.
Then I zoomed into thinking about the
future. I had to find a balance and stay
in the present. I do like to day dream
about the past and the future every now
and then but no racing mind and no
confusion.
I am trying my best to keep healthy
because that is one way to improve myself.
I never had a chance to take care of
myself before. I never had the support I
am getting from you and Homerx. Now
there is no turning back. Things can only
get better from now on.
You made me laugh
when you told me how much you had to let
go when you moved. I am sorry to hear
about the loss of your husband. Have you
healed? It took me ten years to mourn my
daughter. I never had real closure for I
was not there to attend the funeral.
Immigration barriers. I was in denial for
the longest time after Jessy died and then
I was guilty and had many regrets.
Finally I healed. I told myself I cannot
keep morning her for ever. Having DH to
focus on also helped. It was good to know
I could love again.
How many children do you have if you don't
mind my asking? How old are they? I
laughed so hard about you seeing use for
something in the future. And that you
have to live to be 150 to use all these
things. Hahaha! It is hilarious how you
have hung on to things for 30 years. If I
had not moved from Kenya to Canada in
1996, I would still have my assignments
from high school. I kept everything. I
am now learning to let go and trying not
to mbae everything that I like.
Thanks for the smiles , hugs and joy.
May the same return to you.
It is now 8:50pm. I am waiting for 9:00pm
so that I can swallow my medication. I
swallow them with buttermilk because it
has texture. Gone are the days I used to
use one miserable sip of water. I was
nuts.
Started the day at 10:10am. Not bad for a
weekend. Did the skipping rope. I had
cornflakes and a cup of tea for breakfast.
At around 11:00am I called a co-worker at
the club because she left upset yesterday.
She suggested that we go for a walk. We
walked the labyrinth together. She
braided my hair into two lines. We smoked
two joints and I took
her back to the club.
I got home and had lunch. Then DH and
some friends came over. The friends left
around 3:15pm. I took a nap for an hour
and half. Woke up and had tea and
cookies. Then I listened to a preacher on
line. I love listening to them as I don't
go to church.
Soon it was dinner time. We had pork
chops. I did the dishes and had a shower.
After this I am going to read and head to
bed. It has been a good day.
Homerx should be back home tomorrow. I
can't wait to re-connect.
Happy International Women's day Boobie.
Love
Mson.
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Muthoni
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Changed my clock. Did you? In Kenya I never needed to change. Posted: 03-09-08 21:31pm
I woke up at 9:45am
but in actual fact it was 10:45am because
of the time change. I give DH his massage
every Friday but I forgot this Friday and
last Friday. I asked him if he would like
his massage this morning and he said yes.
I spent some time doing the massage and
really enjoyed it. It is showing love.
I came to the computer and started playing
music that I have booked marked on Utube.
My DH was not enjoying it so he went to
Chris' place. I could read message on his
computer to Chris saying something like
Muthoni is playing music from the 90's may
I come over?
Later I asked him if he hates it when I
play my music and he said he just needed
to go to Chris'. Most of the time I wear
headphones and so we don't
have that problem. Sometimes when he is
not listening to any of his music or
watching episodes, I do my thing without
headphones. He just has to get used to
it.
Anyway, I put the tea kettle on and went
out to skip rope. When I came back, the
kettle was still cold.
It was not plugged in. I made tea and had
cornflakes. I am getting used to having
breakfast. Then I decided to
clean the fridge. This is something I
have wanted to do for a while. Today was
the day. When I finished cleaning the
fridge, I made lunch. I had slices of the
leftover pork sandwiched between two
slices of bread and put in a toastess.
The bread was brown and crispy and the
meat in between was hot. It was a good
lunch. I was creative about it and i am
proud of myself for that.
For a while I did not know what to do as I
don't follow the timetable on the weekend.
Then I decided to do what I would be
doing if it was a weekday. The timetable
showed coloring and so I colored. That
brought me to 3:00pm, time for a nap. I
napped for an hour. I time myself with a
timer. When the timer went off DH was
like, "Good morning," from downstairs.
He got me smiling. I woke up and had tea
and cookies. Should mbae more cookies
tomorrow.
DH goes shopping alone but today I wanted
to walk with him there. He is still not
feeling very well. He still has a cold.
We bought lean ground beef, bison stewing
meat, turkey sausages, top sirloin cap,
maui ribs, chicken thighs, top round
steak, cheerios, super spiral fries, super
fries, extra virgin olive oil, muslix
cereal (to alternate from cornflakes),
Ben's rice, stove top stuffing (3) and
eggs. The total amount was $92:42. We
paid $55 cash and the rest we used credit.
I forgot to get milk, break and fajita
kit. Will have to do that tomorrow.
For dinner we are having the boneless
ribs, vegetables and homemade harsh
browns. My remaining duties are to do the
dishes, shower and read a book. While I
wait for dinner I will sip on a glass of
water then beer and
watch Joel Osteen. I am trying to drink
more water as I don't drink enough of it.
DH has gone to shop for the vegetables and
he will bring me a beer and piece of
fruit. He always brings me a piece of
fruit from the market. What a sweetheart.
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Roberta777
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Mson, You Are The Sweetheart Here Posted: 03-09-08 23:49pm
How I love your spirit, your grace, your
trust in today and tomorrow. And, your
ability to share with us the joys you find
in your life. I feel you are blessed. I
feel blessed just speaking with you.
For your sweet Jessy, only temporary time
can divide you from her, there is a time
when we all will be together with those we
love. You know that. I know that. We
all know that.
Life is following a path, a journey. No
matter how hard the journey, if you can
find someone who truly loves you, then,
you are indeed blessed. Remember Mson
next Sunday is Passion Sunday.
Love,
Bobbie
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Roberta777
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And, On Second Thought Posted: 03-09-08 23:56pm
Mson, I want to come up and have dinner
with you!
Love,
Bobbie
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homerx
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I AM HOME! Posted: 03-10-08 13:59pm
Hello my friends, I made it back home and
had the time of my life! I will tell you
guys all about it tomorrow...I have lots
to do to catch up with here at home. I got
back last nite at midnight and am
exhausted!!! I had SO much fun
going to my old haunts and showing my
brother where I used to live and all
that...I will tell you all about it
tomorrow, I just wanted to check in and
say I love you and although I had a ball I
am glad to be home. Chache should have her
puppies this week!
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Muthoni
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Welcome home Homerx Posted: 03-10-08 15:22pm
So nice to have
you back. Missed you and prayed for you.
How is your brother? So good to reconnect
with family especially when one has an
illness like we do.
How is Ricky? All the best to you guys
and Chache. I love watching puppies grow
but they are so much work. All the best
with that.
How is Molly, Mitzy and Lizzy? How are the
birds? They must ALL have been excited to
see you. I am glad you had a wonderful
time.
I am now an Experienced User. I am Rather
EHEALTHY. I love it.
Will talk to you soon. Love, Mson.
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Roberta777
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Welcome Home Homer Posted: 03-10-08 23:15pm
We missed you and your sweet spirit, your
honest input into our lives. Did you have
a totally amazing time? The answer has to
be "YES".
Let all of know about your amazing
journey. This forum has attracted a lot
of attention. Lot's of people out there
who want to feel love and connection, Mson
and Homer. We know what that is like,
don't we.? Love to both of you, my
friends, and all who are our friends out
there just reading this dialogue. Mson,
Homer and I love you and hold you up.
Peace and Grace.
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Muthoni
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One of those days. Posted: 03-11-08 00:28am
Today was one of those days where I was
using will power to do anything. I woke
up at 10:00am which
would have been 9:00am with the time
change. I was on the computer and then I
decided to skip rope. I have realized
that this exercise wakes me right up.
Good thing Homerx reminded me about
exercise.
I had cornflakes and tea for breakfast.
Did a smudge, lit the candle and headed
out for my walk. I wanted to go to the
labyrinth in James Bay but that would have
cut into my nap time. I went to the usual
labyrinth then went shopping. I bought
milk, bread, chicken fajita wrappers and
cookies. I forgot to mbae juice. I
should carry a shopping list with me
instead of going mbae memory. I came home
and had a nap up to about 4:20pm. Then I
listened to a Joel Osteen video.
Bobbie, today we had chicken fajita.
Took all nine pills at 9:00pm. Did the
dishes, wiped the counters and had a
shower. I am sitting here drinking water.
DH is supposed to get a massage from me
every Friday but I forgot on Friday and he
had it yesterday. Yesterday was supposed
to be my turn and so he is doing it
tonight.
I shall not keep him much longer.
Love
Mson.
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3021 Location: , USA
Thanks: 336
Thanked:1067
Posted: 03-11-08 11:28am
hi folks...I cant write yet as my right
elbow is hurting badly..I fell and hurt my
arm. I am going to the doc
tomorrow........I think it is
just bruised badly and throbbing but I
cant type so I will talk to you
later...Pray that I didn't damage my arm 2
bad!!! I am such a klutz sometimes!!!..I have much to
tell you when my arm is not in such pain.
love, homer
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Homerx. Posted: 03-11-08 13:46pm
I am sorry to here that you hurt yourself.
You have been working too hard my dear
since you got back. Glad to hear you are
going to see a doctor. Please keep us
updated. Quick recovery. I'll reply to
you PM. Love Mson.
Bobbie, how are coping with everything?
Is the allergy getting to you? I hope
not. Thinking about you - Love mson.
up at 8:47am
without an alarm. I am trying to get up
at 8:45am every morning. Before this
arrangement I used to sleep up to about
noon. 
and the Creator
indeed kept my family safe. 
club. Came
home and went to see the Bi Polar doctor.
I gave him a copy of my timetable for the
record. He said that he sees I write a
lot and asked what I write about. I told
him that I write about my everyday life.
A journal.
you are very
humorous and it is so refreshing reading
from you.
I hope to
keep writing for a long time. It keeps me
going and helps clear my mind. It has
really helped me with my Bi polar. Helped
stopped the mind from racing. I wrote
until I caught up with the present. There
was a time I was leaving in the past. It
was for many years that I lived there.
Then I zoomed into thinking about the
future. I had to find a balance and stay
in the present. I do like to day dream
about the past and the future every now
and then but no racing mind and no
confusion. 
because that is one way to improve myself.
I never had a chance to take care of
myself before. I never had the support I
am getting from you and Homerx. Now
there is no turning back. Things can only
get better from now on.
when you told me how much you had to let
go when you moved. I am sorry to hear
about the loss of your husband. Have you
healed? It took me ten years to mourn my
daughter. I never had real closure for I
was not there to attend the funeral.
Immigration barriers. I was in denial for
the longest time after Jessy died and then
I was guilty and had many regrets.
Finally I healed. I told myself I cannot
keep morning her for ever. Having DH to
focus on also helped. It was good to know
I could love again. 
....I think it is
just bruised badly and throbbing but I
cant type so I will talk to you
later...Pray that I didn't damage my arm 2
bad!!! I am such a klutz sometimes!!!
