to actually and completely love Lee even
though I could see through him. I still
believed in him. But, when the money ran
out so did Lee. He said I had issues. I
guess giving me HPV and saying he was
sorry didn't cut it with me. Because, I
have HPV for the rest of my life and can
never be with any other man again. He
went on his merry way. I am glad to see
the back of him. Even though in the end
it is going to cost me. I am going to
have to be smart enough to manage my
vinyeards myself. It is really in God's
hands and he has never let me down, not
ever.
I have faith, tremendous faith and I don't
go around making judgements on the faith
of other's. Guess that comes with how
much you believe.
In these hard economically challenged
times, with Fanny May and Freddie Mac
(only names you would find in America) on
the brink of disaster and for them to be
bailed out means we as taxpayers will be
footing the $25 billion dollar bill, like
it or not. Even now the mortgage rates are
going up, way up. At my bank today it is
approaching 8% again. Equity line of
credit won't be far behind. It is
certainly going to be a challenge for many
people.
Good to know that you and BH are well and
am so happy Homer is doing better. That
sweet Ricky is an angel helping with the
IV.
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Re: I Just Never Expected Posted: 07-24-08 00:25am
Roberta777
wrote:
I have faith, tremendous faith and I don't
go around making judgements on the faith
of other's. Guess that comes with how
much you believe.
Bobbie
YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ADMIRED BY ME!
IM SUPPOSED TO PICK UP MY TEST RESULT
TOMORROW BUT IM THINKING OF DELAYING IT
FOR ANOTHER DAY...AS I READ FURTHER ON
YOUR CONVERSATIONS ON THIS FORUM, I GET
MORE EMPOWERED AND INSPIRED BY YOUR GREAT
LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. (WHERE ELSE CAN YOU
FIND PEOPLE LIKE THAT?)
THE MORE I READ ON YOU GUYS, THE MORE I
BECOME COURAGEOUS!
I THOUGHT IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO
THINK AND TRY TO ACCEPT THAT MY TEST
RESULT WILL TURN OUT POSITIVE, EVEN
BEFORE GETTING THE ACTUAL RESULT (I KNOW
ITS CRAZY). BUT IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME
TO ACCEPT IT JUST IN CASE IT WILL TURN
OUT +. IF IT TURNS OUT NEGATIVE (W/C I
HOPE SO) THEN I WILL CONSIDER IT LIKE A
BONUS AND ITS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY
! FOR I HAVE
ALL THE REASONS TO THINK AND ASSUME THAT
IT IS POSITIVE (WILL TELL MORE OF THAT
SOMEDAY).
IM ON PAGE 19 SO FAR...
AND BY THE WAY MSON AND HOMER/STEVE, I DO
LOVE SMOKING MJ TOO!
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT! IT WILL BE A
GREAT HELP TO ME SOMEDAY FOR SURE.
AND BOBBIE, I LOVE WINE ESPECIALLY
CABERNET!
TAKE CARE AND MAY GOD BLESS US ALL.
YOU ALL ARE SWEETHEARTS .
Hi my ladies and good morning to you.
My swolen face is still swollen. I talked
to my nurse today and she is going to give
me another IV to do here at home and I
HAVE to MAKE myself do the pushing and
manipulating exercises no matter how
painful or I will have to go to hospital.
So even though I cry and scream and it
hurts horribly I am blessed that I have
the hands and arms to work my own therapy
and can have to IV drugs to help get me on
the road to recovery. God is good and I am
able so here I go...today I am taking my
pain pills and giving myself this therapy
if it kills me!!! I am strong enough to do
this. With your prayers and good will and
all, I can do this!!
Love,Homer
P.S. Cleo...YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! You have
the power and the smarts and the heart...I
am very proud of you and am looking
forward...never back. The future is ours,
the past belongs to history. Thanks for
being you and joining us on this journey
called life! xoxo,Homie
Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved
Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
we can be
Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needed to be loved
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 739 Location: ,
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No Offence Taken Posted: 07-24-08 15:06pm
Well, maybe a little bit. That is the
thing I have always tried not to do and
that is not judge the other person's
belief system, they are walking their own
path.
That new guy from church wanted me to join
him (I always drive myself, kinda like the
fact I can come and go as I please) for a
concert in the park on last Friday.
I started telling him about my friends
with HIV/AIDS. I could not believe how
ignorant he was. I said these are my
friends, my pen pals and I also knew Don
and John. He said, "well, if they have
AIDS it is because they must have done
something to deserve it." I told him AIDS
is a virus. Wonder how he would feel
about me having the virus HPV?
Then out of the clear blue sky, he says,
if you get serious, you go in and get
tested. Like this guy thinks I am going
to have a sexual relationship with him?
Not even a spec on the radar screen.
If a person cannot have compassion about
those of us with a virus we would
certainly rather not be carrying around,
how can you possibly get close to them?
The closest that guy has come to me is
giving me a peck on the cheek. I give my
priest a more loving and passionate hug
and embrace than what I give that guy. He
is not the one. He is out of here. If he
can't sit there and let me describe my
love and caring for Homer and Mson, well,
it just isn't going to happen. Period.
Cleo, we welcome you with love to this
forum. Cleo is a
beautiful name and I know that you are
that kind of woman. My mother's favorite
sister was named Cleo and she was really
someone special. My great memories of her
keeping herself beautiful for her handsome
husband and five children.
I believe that you have a very valid point
in being able to accept whatever
eventuality that comes with your results.
I know what you are talking about here.
Had to go in for a second breast x-ray
because they said something was really
wrong. I honestly almost sweated blood
and was so afraid. Yet, when I went back,
they said it was o.k.
Then, going in for the second HPV test, I
too was pretty scared. The doctor said it
came back within normal range and if I can
stay well for 18 more months having a test
every 6 months, I will be fine but will
always be HPV positive. Guess there are
worse things in this world.
Like talking to Lee today. He is so
terribly miserable and unhappy. He keeps
getting himself into more trouble with the
court on fighting to see his children. I
tried so hard to tell him the course he
was on to get a divorce and lose his
children would be so very painful and now
it is destroying his life. He thought
everybody could just be friends. That is
not the way of the real world. People can
and will get even. They will hurt with
everything in their power. That is life.
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Cleo Posted: 07-24-08 15:21pm
for your words.
Are you shouting or just using capitals?
Feel free to be yourself over here.
I am very impressed with the way you are
preparing yourself while you wait for yout
test results. In 1993, I was all a lone
but not quite because I could talk to the
doctor at any time. I did not want other
people to know because of stigma and
discrimination.
During the testing time, I had been
offered a job at the University of Nairobi
in Kenya. I took the job Cleo. It was a
better job than when I was a prostitute
mbae far There were no
affordable medication at the time in
Kenya. Mine seemed like a death sentence
but I was not going to sit around waiting
for death.
After the told me I had AIDS,
I went to the streets of Nairobi and
started telling the ladies on the streets
that sex transmits HIV. It is all I knew.
I worked at the University for three
years, no medication and after a rape, I
resigned but I had already been accepted
to come to Canada for a conference. Two
more years without medication, a total of
five years of persitance and the grace of
God, (NGAI) in my language. Then in the
beginning of November 1998, I started the
much needed medication. Within months,
they could not detect the virus in my body
below 50 per mililitre of blood. Now they
can measure below 40 here in my province.
I strated with 780,000 virus per mililitre
of blood. I
have maintained that for a long time.
Almost 10 years of therapy and still going
strong. I know that God is not making me
well to be a specimen in his show room.
He is healing me so that I may do His work
and He be glorified.
Like Homerx sharing his experiences
automatically uplifts me. He eases my
pain. He suffered so that I may not
suffer as hard. And we both suffered so
that you do not have to suffer much. See?
: Helps with
nausea, loss of appettite and stomach
cramps for me. I also like the high
Let us know what your test results are and
don't get cold feet. You have come this
far you might as well finish that race...
How is the treament of HIV/AIDS in your
country?
Always with love and light
Mson
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3020 Location: , USA
Thanks: 336
Thanked:1067
Posted: 07-24-08 15:59pm
well, nothing has
changed except I am sore from pushing that
darn thing around!
Cleo, when you use all capital letters on
a forum it means you are shouting...just
in case you didn't know. I didn't know
that either until some one told me
OK, I am going to lay down and pop a pill
and roll that lump around some more.
Lord, I pray it does something...get
softer, goes down or something so i don't
have to go be put in the hospital...
I ask why me? then i say why not? People
all over the world have it much worse..I
at least have meds and a doc and can go to
hospital if I need to..others in this
world have not got that opportunity and
suffer without release..so i thank God for
my blessings.
Love,Homer
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Bobbie Posted: 07-24-08 16:14pm
You said, All
life is a crap shoot anyway.
I said, What
do you mean "all life is a crap shoot?"
Not to me it isn't. Some of it but not
all. Have a little more faith
Bobbie.
You said, I have
faith, tremendous faith and I don't go
around making judgements on the faith of
other's. Guess that comes with how much
you believe.
I said,
Bobbie, I am sorry if I offended
you.
You said No
offence taken, Well, maybe a little bit.
That is the thing I have always tried not
to do and that is not judge the other
person's belief system, they are walking
their own path.
I apologize again Bobbie but I was sensing
negativity leaking in the first quoted
post and I think it got to me. You reap
what you sow.
Affection
Mson
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 739 Location: ,
Thanks: 148
Thanked:229
Life Is Too Short Posted: 07-24-08 20:15pm
To keep a score card of who said what to
whom Mson.
Do I in return detect a cat fight coming
on? Hopefully not because I value your
friendship and care for you.
Homer, glad you are on the road to
recovery and hope Ricky can help you out
at home without you going to the hospital.
I like seeing you at home with your loved
ones.
Love,
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Bobbie Posted: 07-24-08 20:34pm
No cat fight here. I took the time to jot
down who said what in the hope that you
would understand where I was coming from.
Always
Mson
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Homerx. Posted: 07-24-08 20:48pm
Woke up around 9:15am this morning. BH
made me lunch while I got ready and had
breakfast. Work was at 9:45am. I barely
made it but I got there. During my break
I went and walked the labyrinth. Soon I
am going to do the candle prayers.
Thinking about you often.
Hope you are feeling better. When I spoke
with you this afternoon I got worried.
Then I told myself that there was no need
of worrying. So I did the dishes, wiped
the counters and cleared (somehow) our
dining table.
I could not sit around doing nothing
knowing full well that you cannot do
anything and it is not because you don\'t
want to, it is because you are ill. My
baby doll...hope you are better soon.
Here is a photo of me taken yesterday
before work and one taken at the table
where I color, read, collage and eat.
I have not done any skipping today but I
will. Watch me go. But first dinner,
beef and rice and veggies and pork.
Lovingly
Mson
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 739 Location: ,
Thanks: 148
Thanked:229
Mson, I Really Do Posted: 07-24-08 20:50pm
believe that I understand a lot of what
you have gone through. As it has not been
my life experience, I am just here to
listen and support you.
You, likewise, cannot begin to imagine the
amount of energy it takes me to work in
the vineyards, go over each and every day
the expenses it takes to maintain my
property, because, you have not had to do
so.
On a happier note, we won a Gold Medal on
our 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon wine. That is
a wonderful achievement and will help me
be able to sell my grapes next year. As
they say, one step at a time.
Take care and don't stress Mson. You
internalize too much. When you get to be
my age you will understand that "yes, life
is a crap shoot for want of a better term,
perhaps, we could say a gamble, a chance,
but God knows what is going on so we
shouldn't stress out about whether or not
we are going to wind up with the absolute
perfect decision. I don't believe there
is a "perfect decision." Thus, my
terminology of a crap shoot.
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Bobbie Posted: 07-24-08 21:28pm
I hope I never reach that age where I
think life is a crap shoot.
Thanks for taking the time to converse
with me.
Here's to more success with your 2005
Cabernet Sauvignon and other wines. Keep
it up Bobbie! God is good. All glory and
honour to Him...for allowing you to do
such an awesome job. You did it again!
Always
Mson
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Bobbie my dear! Posted: 07-24-08 21:51pm
I was just talking to BH and he was
explaining that crap shoot is a game! I
had no idea. I thought you meant that life
is like a place that shoots crap. That
life is a bum hole. Now I understand about
you saying it is like the lottery. BH
explained that it means life is random.
English is my third language. Please
forgive me. Total misunderstanding on my
part. We looked it up and it said a risky
and uncertain venture. Now I get it...Good
Lord.
If I could get it right every time I open
my mouth to speak and it could come out
the way I believe it to be with my
intention, then I would be one person in a
million. Not many of us get it out the
way we feel in our hearts and in our
minds.
I know your good heart Mson. Keep up your
good work. You are surely needed on this
planet and in the lives of people who are
out looking for answers in their health
emergencies.
You know tonight, I was thinking of all
the people in the world that I would pray
for and it came down to Lee. Because I
loved him and will until the day I die. I
can't stop love. You know that Mson.
Love, real love, lasts for an eternity. I
think that is why we caught up with each
other this time around. Even Walter said
he knew Kristy before. Only the soul and
time will tell Mson. Take care dear one.
crap
shoot that
is so funny!! I love LOVE LOVE you guys!
You
really make me laugh...so cute cute cute
cute life
is a place like a bum hole
Mson, you look so lovely...sitting at the
table reading...that is a great picture, I
would like to print it and frame
it...maybe I will! I just love it. You
also look very nice on the patio. You are
very put together...well groomed and well
dressed, you look professional and ready
for work!
I go to the doctor at noon
ug! I think my lymph node has gone down on
my neck It feels like it to
me even though it is still swollen. I am
praying that they change my IV and give me
more drips to bring home and that they let
Ricky treat me here at home. I don't want
to go to hospital.If I have to then I have
to but pray with me that I can take care
of this health issue at home with Rickys
help.
OK, I have to shower and try to
shave...that isnt EZ with this damn thing
on my neck! Wish me luck! I will let you
know what is going on as soon as I can.
Love and Peace,
Homer
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 747 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 284
Thanked:165
Homerx and Bobbie. Posted: 07-25-08 13:42pm
I woke up around 10:19am. I am happy
about that.
Bobbie you even explained yourself when
you said it was like a gamble. I still
didn't get it. What do you mean about
Kristy and Walter?
Homerx,
for the phone call.
I am glad you out of IV and now on normal
pills. Glad to hear that you have noticed
the swelling is going down. And you did
not have to go to the hospital. Praise
the Lord, hallelujah, I don't care what
the devil's gonna do...Jesus is the Lord
of the way that I fell. Awesome Homerx.
And it is NOT lymphoma. Praise Jesus the
Lord of hosts. I give glory to the God of
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God of
Shadrack, Meshack and Abedniego. Thanks
for hearing our prayers. Please let
Homerx relax and let him recover quickly.
Hallelujah Jesus. What a relief...
In 1991 when I had PCP (HIV related
pneumonia), my parents took me to a
hospital where I was admitted. This was
in Kenya. The women there were wailing in
pain and groaning. When the doctor came
to see me, I told him I wanted to leave.
I explained that if I am dehydrated, I
will drink lots of fluids. He let me go.
I don't like hospitals either. Who does?
The mental hospital is different but still
I don't want to go back there. But I
won't because my support system is
growing. It is not just BH. It is you
Homerx and Bobbie and others (family).
My mind has cleared especially since I
wrote that note to the uncle who defiled
me. I was sitting at work during my 40th
birthday and it was like I was about to
cross over to the other side but something
was pulling me back. My uncle. So I
wrote him a very small not. It is in my
language but literally it said, "It is me Minneh. How
are? I am in Canada since July 1996.
I wanted to tell you that I know what you
did to me when we lived in Karia-ini.
When I was a child. I have forgiven you
now forgive yourself. It is me
Minneh."
First I have to confirm the address that
the note is going to. Then I will send it
off. But just even writing it helped me
not to have a guilt conscience. I do need
to send it. Stirring the pot on his side
but ending the trauma of the first action
that made me feel less than. From there
things just went downhill and the worst of
all was the death of daughter Jessy. Her
death woke me up and I started back into my life.
I carried my past with me for years and
never spent time inside. Jessy's
death got me doing that. First I was
guilty thinking it was my fault she died.
I was stuck there for years. Today I
realize that the Lord giveth, the Lord
taketh.
I had just had breakfast and now I am
going to skip rope and do some cleaning.
Later on this afternoon I will be at work
Have a good day and God bless
Lovingly
Mson
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3020 Location: , USA
Thanks: 336
Thanked:1067
Posted: 07-25-08 14:32pm
Rock my Soul in the bosom of Abraham!!! I
have been reborn. All hail Almighty Christ
and the redeemer!!!! I have been given
more life. Jesus saved me once, Jesus
saved me twice, Jesus has saved me many
many times and I praise him for the gift
of health and life and love.
Now that I feel I will keep improving I am
so ready to get back into my routine of
working out and walking on the treadmill
and exercising.
Tell BH thank you for sharing his wife
with me...I am brother to you both.
Anything I can ever do for you I will
happily. I didn't go
to the store today so I didn't get the
frame or T shirt but I will either this
weekend or Monday after I go back to the
doctor.
Ricky is going to bring home fried chicken
tonight yummie! and I will
be able to eat something besides oat
mil,cereal and soup...although I am
thankful for the oat mil and cereal and
soup I am ready for some real hearty
food!!!
OK, sweet hearts, I am going to fold
laundry and make the bed and praise the
Lord.
With more love and respect and soul than
you can ever imagine,
Homie
Guess what my friends....I WON THE
LOTTERY! (Yes, I'm really SHOUTING this
time, Homer and Mson!) Will write more
about it next time.
God is Great! This planet needs people
like you guys. I'm great full for your
existence. Thank you God!
I'm off to celebrate with my best friend.
Take care and I will always pray for you.
! FOR I HAVE
ALL THE REASONS TO THINK AND ASSUME THAT
IT IS POSITIVE (WILL TELL MORE OF THAT
SOMEDAY).
TOO!
So even though I cry and scream and it
hurts horribly I am blessed that I have
the hands and arms to work my own therapy
and can have to IV drugs to help get me on
the road to recovery. God is good and I am
able so here I go...today I am taking my
pain pills and giving myself this therapy
if it kills me!!! I am strong enough to do
this. With your prayers and good will and
all, I can do this!! 
for your words.
Are you shouting or just using capitals?
Feel free to be yourself over here.
There were no
affordable medication at the time in
Kenya. Mine seemed like a death sentence
but I was not going to sit around waiting
for death.
told me I had AIDS,
I went to the streets of Nairobi and
started telling the ladies on the streets
that sex transmits HIV. It is all I knew.
I
have maintained that for a long time.
Almost 10 years of therapy and still going
strong. I know that God is not making me
well to be a specimen in his show room.
He is healing me so that I may do His work
and He be glorified.
Helps with
nausea, loss of appettite and stomach
cramps for me. I also like the high 
well, nothing has
changed except I am sore from pushing that
darn thing around! 
Lord, I pray it does something...get
softer, goes down or something so i don't
have to go be put in the hospital... 
You
really make me laugh...so cute cute cute
cute 
I just love it. You
also look very nice on the patio. You are
very put together...well groomed and well
dressed, you look professional and ready
for work! 
yummie! and I will
be able to eat something besides oat
mil,cereal and soup...although I am
thankful for the oat mil and cereal and
soup I am ready for some real hearty
food!!!
