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Muthoni

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-01-08 20:52pm


Homerx, Tell Bobbie I will always be praying for her. Tell her I hope she is better soon. She had mentioned about falling a couple of time in the hills. Lord have mercy. I think that time will heal everything as far as Lee is concerned. That is what I found with my life. Time recently healed everything. That is a wonderful story about you and Ricky. I love stories like those. Thanks for sharing. So Ricky has always been compassionate. Giving you rides. Awesome. I hope I get to know BH for as long a time as you have known Ricky and more. I mean I might die! (But you said not to think of that). I wish you more years too. BH and I knew each other since 1999, 4 years before we started dating. He was a dealer and I was mbaeing from him. He used to mbae me lunch coz he knew I was struggling. Hehe. 2003 we started dated. It all happened in my rooming house. We have known each other for almost ten years. I am still at work and later we are going out for dinner with friends. BH gets his massage tonight come rain or shine. That is if he is in the mood. We missed giving massages last week. Enjoy your shows and I never take you for granted. Every post is met with enthusiasm. Everytime. 25 minutes to go. Won't be back here until Tuesday. Thanks Jesus. Wi chat later Darling. One of these fine days we are going to meet. I can feel it. Love you always Mson

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Posted: 08-01-08 21:15pm


Hi I am addicted to see if you have written!! and you have I think you and BH will be together forever. And we will all have plenty of time here. I hope we meet. I really think we will,and wow,what a great day that will be!!!! Have a great night and enjoy dinner and everything else. You and Bobbie are always in my prayers every single day without fail. Thank you for sharing your story on how you and BH got together. I love it. Its a wonderful life.... We talk again real soon.Until then... I love you, Homer

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HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 08-02-08 10:17am


http://uk.youtube.com/ watch?v=gDBfiFW1zzU Have a great weekend and make Saturday a super great saturday...have fun, be safe...love one another

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-02-08 13:07pm


Happy weekend for the song. BH loved it and he is looking for it to add to his collection I woke up at 10:20am which is great. Better than 11:00am. I tried to go back to bed but I found that I was fully rested. I did the devotional prayers, got out of bed, made the bed and started the day. I still have diarrhea since Tuesday night. Have you ever had the diarrhea that you think is fart but it is actually diarrhea! This happened to my late friend Gerald who had AIDS and I remember how upset he was. And now it has happened to me twice. Quite shameful and messy. Both times I was sleeping... about that too information but I feel free to tell you what is going on. No stomach ache. I'll have tea though. This morning I am going to have breakfast, skip rope, dust and vacuum. Then I will watch my shows as many as I can and tonight is Pascale's bachelorette party at 7:15pm. I bought a top to wear. I'll have a picture taken for you my love. for all your prayers. Much appreciated. When I said I won't be here till Tuesday, I meant work not here. Amy buzzed last night and I told her we were busy and she sounded surprised. I told BH not to let her in if she buzzes because she will repeat the same behaviour as before. She doesn't listen or pretends not to. Love always Mson

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Mson, My Dear Girl Posted: 08-02-08 13:27pm


Sorry you have been not feeling well. I hear you on the sudden lost of control. That never happened to me before I had HPV. Wonder what is going on there. Now, it happens to me too. Homer is right, with the many things I have to contend with, getting up at 6:30 to shut down the fan cooling down the wine cellar is something I deal with. I was half asleep and hit my foot wrong going down the step. I felt I twisted it. Was fine, but now doing research, it is a torn ligament at the top of my foot. Have it wrapped and put on ice but it is impossible as I have things that have to be done in the vineyards. I am still putting on the watering stations and was out there this morning. Dear God. Have mercy upon me and bless my beloved vineyards. I love them so much and they are a living entity and I want their success and believe I will endure with God's grace and love. Thank you for praying for me Mson and Homer. Yes, I have been under a lot of pressure with Lee calling and wanting to come back to work but his conditions are quite impossible for me to be able to accept. I cannot pay him cash under the table. I don't live my life like that. I spoke with the builder of our home who has 80 acres of grapes and he said, "You Have Too Much To Lose." by going that way. My goodness. At the very least, Lee would have to sign a 1099 form for my taxes. He says he really needs that money. And, it is only $3,600.00 a year. If you only knew how much that money is hard to come up with. And, I don't want to go back to being so very unhappy. Lee is a child. He could go for days without calling you back or showing up when he said he would. But, I loved him so much, when I would see him, all was forgiven. Of course, that all changed when I found out about his cheating with that Adriana woman who now has his company under her name and he says his grandmother's name and that his grandmother doesn't know what is going on and Adriana now has everything, it all. But, he said, he has no money. Well, he jumped out of the frying pan into the fire with that one. I can't help him and he knows how to twist the poor little boy Lee part to somehow get me to give him money. Truth be told, word is he is cheating on Adriana now. Not my problem. You get what you pay for in most cases. I asked him what about all the other vineyards he manages. Does he ask them to pay him under the table and illegal? He said no. So that shows me a tremendous lack of respect for me and the love we once shared together. Maybe it was love on my part and love on his part for my property and vineyards and the money he could get from me. I can't go back with him on any level. Please pray to remove him from my heart, my soul and my thoughts Mson and Homer. Bobbie

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Bobbie my dear! Posted: 08-02-08 19:36pm


I miss you when you are not her Bobbie. for being able to come on line and chat. Means a lot to me especially after the crap shoot incident. Thanks for feeling for me. I will be well soon. It is just a nuisance. I must wonder every time I fart if it will be wet. for sharing that it happens to you sometimes. It is scary stuff. I am sorry to hear about your predicament in the early morning. I hope you are better soon. Hopefully you can get somebody to help you that is not Lee. I will always pray for you Bobbie. As long as I can pray. I had a good morning. Skipped rope, watched 4 half hour shows, made tea, vacuumed, dusted and took some photos for you and Homerx to enjoy. These two pictures are of the prayer wall. Everything on the wall represents something or somebody. You can see the rocks, the lit candle. Those two star fish like objects represent the elderly, male and female and they have buttons on them and another button on the rocks to remind me to pray for you Bobbie. I pray for you many times in a day. Homerx, can you see the card you gave me? It is hanging off the star fish. I also remember you when I pray for lost pets. The artwork of a lion was done mbae a boy whose sister my brother had married but she died. I pray for her soul and for him to get the things he needs to improve on his art work. He is really good. The red flowers were given to me mbae a lady who lost a daughter in drunken driving. I pray for her mother and for the soul of the dead and I remember children who have been left behind especially princess Diane's children. The necklace hanging on the other side of the starfish is to remind me to pray for Amy. I pray for the world as well. I am grateful for my AIDS and Bi polar medication. I pray for children and children living with HIV/AIDS. It is quite a meditation when I am done praying. I am off to the labyrinth and shopping for tomorrow's lunch. I usually don't leave the house on Sundays if I can help it. Tonight we party for Pascale. She gets married on Saturday. I am the witness. Good night and wi chat later. Love Mson

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-02-08 19:42pm


This is my new blouse. This other one is where I sit to type to you at home. Thanks for the round container. Take good care. Mson

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You Are Beautiful Posted: 08-02-08 21:28pm


Mson, Inside and Out. Thanks for sharing. And, thanks for praying for us. We all need prayer. You and I both can see it is not a healthy or good thing to be around Lee. I know that and feel like a terrible burden was lifted off my soul when we parted ways. A very dark part was finally lifted off me. Actually, it was a great relief even though it was a very difficult decision because of our business relationship. I do pray for him but I no longer allow myself to feel responsible for his happiness nor the need to give him advise when he asks for it as it goes in one ear and out the other only to have him call and beg me to allow him to be the child needing a mother again. He has a mother. He has a grandmother. He has a new woman who has taken over his life and is old enough to be his mother. They are the ones he needs to look to, not me. The sad thing is, he is still the same. Lying and sneaking around behind their back and not looking inside. We all have to face ourselves and our lives and what we have done to bring us to where we are. Thanks for being yourself Mson. I pray that you will always find the love, joy, peace and happiness that you so richly deserve. Love, Bobbie

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My Friend John Posted: 08-03-08 12:22pm


called last night from Texas. Remember Don and John? He said that he had read that they believe that they have found a cure for AIDS. Is that true? How fantastic and wonderful. Bobbie

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Bobbie my dear! Posted: 08-03-08 22:07pm


Thanks for your compliments. We have to take care of ourselves. Nobody else will do a good job like us. Thanks for your prayers. I haven't watched the news so I don't know about a cure of AIDS. I hope it is free for everybody suffering HIV/AIDS. Today I got out of bed at around 10:26am. I poured my cereal and got into the tub and watched my shows. I have five left. Phew, almost near the end. We had fun last night at the event with Pascale. I did not go to the bars. Too crowded. I had lunch and then uploaded the photos from last night and sent them out to Pascale and the organizer of the event. I am really enjoying working with the camera. Here is a photo of our office. We work back to back. I took the photo. I cannot clean BH's desk because I don't know what is garbage and what is not. He has a L shaped desk and it is full of stuff. This other photo is of me at home on a Sunday. I also have a picture of our old love seat. What a difference... I remember I was sitting here when I typed love seat and my city and our love seat showed up. That was my lucky day. It is 8:07pm now and I am going to spend time finishing to watch my shows. Have a good night, we chat tomorrow God willing. Love always and please get better soon. Mson

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Posted: 08-04-08 10:34am


Good Morning! LOVE the pictures,Mson. What a difference the new sofa makes! Thats cute that you and BH sit back to back,I know what you mean about his desk I can see you now when you are writing me...and I C the container on your desk that I sent the scarf in...how cool! Yesterday I went to the store to do the weekly shopping and Ricky mowed the lawn. Did housework. Ricky made a Stur Fry last night...yum..it was so good..he makes good Chinese food.actually he can cook anything!!!.Still have more dishes to wash and clothes to fold and put away...then I am going to clean up the puppie poop out in the yard. I don't think thats true about finding a cure for AIDS...I wish it was but I don't think so.. Ricky hooked the bedroom up with cable so I could watch TV in there.. OK, hope today finds every one doing great...chat later...got to get busy with my chores... Homer

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-04-08 15:22pm


It is 1:20pm here. Glad to hear about Ricky's cooking. BH had to teach himself how to cook in 2004 when I got a night job cleaning. He is pretty good too but I haven't seen any Chinese food come out of our kitchen. Always ordering. Thanks for your compliments. Ya the leather love seat is perfect for our home. The other love seat I had when I was single. I got it in 2002 for $60 and we kept it when we got together until this years when we got rid of it. It served us for six good years. One of the fine days I will ask BH to walk me through his desk and tell me what is garbage and what is not. Then it will be clean for a day and then untidy again. I use the container you sent me. Homerx, your posts in the morning mean a great deal to me because they awaken me to life. Like this morning, I woke up at 11:08am and I was sitting here reading how you were busy yesterday and how this morning you were going to continue with your chores. Just reading that got me going. I had breakfast and talked on the phone with Pascale. Saturday is her big day and we needed to connect about where the hair dos are being done. Also I have some of her wedding things that I need to take to her. The rehearsal is on Thursday and so I will take those things to her then. I skipped rope Homerx, 154 times and did the dishes. You are my inspiration, you give me joy in the morning. Then I did the wall prayers. I want to put more effort into the prayers because they are not just for me but for so many other people. I need to be persistent in my praying. Now I am going to have a and have lunch. I think I will call you before too long Homerx. Today. Later I am going to the labyrinth and then I will be home to finish watching my shows. I have a few shows left but I will catch up today. I will light up this one for you my dear. You mean soo much to me and seriously I was at an unconscious stage before I met you. Now I can feel the life flowing in me. I was lonely with AIDS. Not any more. I needed a person like you in my life. I did. And God gave us each other. for the prayers every night, they are working. Always with love Mson

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MSON CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 08-04-08 16:41pm


I am SO happy you called!I LOVE to hear that sweet voice saying "Hello Homer" It makes my day. You make my day so much brighter .Thank you for the kind sweet words. I feel exactly the same. Until you I was bored and alone with AIDS and depression and although I have Ricky I needed a friend. You became that friend to me. I say I walked on my treadmill today after cleaning and before the shower. So I feel I accomplished something today at least. When we were talking about my mother ...I dont know. I have always been good with forgiveness..I never hold a grudge but with my mother...well, to be perfectly honest,Mson...I haven't forgiven her. I am trying but so far, if I am honest with myself...I have to say that I don't want anything to do with her. I think she had me...but I never had her. Does that make since? She never liked me very much because I am gay. She denies that but I have heard her say racist things and mean things about people who are not like her. I don't think I want to ever be around her again. But I still need to forgive her...I will work on it. and pray about it. I feel I am carrying a weight and its my bitterness towards her that is weighing me down. I have to drop that weight...I will continue to ask for Gods help with this. You said you were about to walk the labyrinth...I wish I was going with you on that walk.. maybe some day in the not too distant future you can take me there and to all the places you go so that I can see with my own eyes how Mson and BH live. and we can celebrate our friendship!! Your my BFF...that stands for Best Friends Forever.. its a beautiful world with you in it...have a great day,sweet lady...your beautiful!!! xoxo all my love, Homer

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-04-08 16:57pm


I broke a plate, I woke up late. Mson

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Re: Homerx my dear!
Posted: 08-04-08 18:26pm

Muthoni wrote:

I broke a plate, I woke up late. Laughing

Mson

that was so funny!!! And when we hung up I kept thinking that...I woke up late. I broke a plate... giggle

Homer

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Re: MSON CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 08-04-08 19:59pm

homerx wrote:

I am SO happy you called!I LOVE to hear that sweet voice saying "Hello Homer" Very
Happy

It makes my day. You make my day so much brighter sunny

.Thank you for the kind sweet words. I feel exactly the same. Until you I was bored and alone with AIDS and depression and although I have Ricky I needed a friend. You became that friend to me. I say thanks

I walked on my treadmill today after cleaning and before the shower. So I feel I accomplished something today at least.
When we were talking about my mother ...I dont know. I have always been good with forgiveness..I never hold a grudge but with my mother...well, to be perfectly honest,Mson...I haven't forgiven her. Neutral

I am trying but so far, if I am honest with myself...I have to say that I don't want anything to do with her. I think she had me...but I never had her. Does that make since? She never liked me very much because I am gay. She denies that but I have heard her say racist things and mean things about people who are not like her. I don't think I want to ever be around her again. But I still need to forgive her...I will work on it. pray

and pray about it. I feel I am carrying a weight and its my bitterness towards her that is weighing me down. I have to drop that weight...I will continue to ask for Gods help with this.
You said you were about to walk the labyrinth...I wish I was going with you on that walk.. tiphat

maybe some day in the not too distant future you can take me there and to all the places you go so that I can see with my own eyes how Mson and BH live. party

and we can celebrate our friendship!! party

Your my BFF...that stands for Best Friends Forever.. Very
Happy

its a beautiful world with you in it...have a great day,sweet lady...your beautiful!!!
xoxo
all my love,
Homer rainbow

Homerx,

I felt that I had to call you. I missed you and your voice. Maybe I will make it a weekly thing. Every Monday. Just to call and hear your voice and for you to talk to me and know my accent. Laughing

Homerx, I knew I was lonely in this area of AIDS. Everybody I knew was still in the initial traumatic stage. I spent my first five years of HIV without telling anybody but Jessy. Now I know why people give up. It is the loneliness. One needs somebody else who understands him/her. Like understand about living with the virus. No other web site gave me what Ehealth forum gave me. And I just stumbled into it. The favour of God. I did not know that you were in there Homerx. Then I spotted...YOU! You were talking about exercising, eating well, sleeping, taking meds, etc. You were about life. Living. That attracted me to you and here we are. Wink

Really like the idea of feeling that you have accomplished something in the day. Makes sense.

When I was going really crazy, I told myself that the only place that was safe for me was if I went back to my mother's womb. I had nowhere else to run to. That is when I knew what my mother meant to me. I began to change inside. I started to forgive her. It happened in stages. I would forgive her and then I would get angry with her. Then I would forgive her again. You see, there is so much to forgive that you cannot just say it is forgiven.

Seeing her at the wedding in 2005 was really awesome and I thought I might never see her again and I will be fine but I knew I wanted to see her again unlike you who has decided not to have anything to do with Melba. Is that the correct spelling?

You forgive her for your own sake, not for her sake. You are taking care of yourself and are looking for healing. I wanted complete peace and that is why I forgave my mother and my uncle. For over 30 years I carried that burden of defilement mbae my uncle. I was not carrying it beyond fourty years old. Maybe you can give yourself to work on it until you are fifty and then let it go?

Yes I was talking with BH about you and Ricky coming over and he said like I told you, we have a mattress. And he added that you will have to know the other person because it is only one mattress. giggle

When you have all the paper work arranged please come over. If it is hard to get the paper work, then we can come over. But Homer, you should come out. I will show you the labyrinth, the area around this place, out of town, another labyrinth, take you to the club Mr.
Green

I will be so proud walking beside you. What an honour. I will take you to the beach. Gandalf the cat will love. Our home will be filled with warmth. party

I better catch up on my shows. I think I have about 6 left. That is a lot of preaching to listen to. They are all talking about talking myself into positive thinking. Refusing to listen to negativity and giving praise to God for what we have.

Love you and praying for you.

Always
Mson:
curtsey

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-05-08 00:00am


I forgot to tell you that when I went out to the labyrinth today, I carried my book and read for a bit in the sun. And I watched to girls playing some music instruments. I also met with two colleagues. And, I did the dishes this evening. I asked BH if he noticed and he said yes and added that I did them quickly. I hope to keep this up. Please pray for me that laziness may go away from me. We had chicken fajita for dinner. My baby can cook and he is self taught. I am very impressed with him. It is bedtime for Bonzo... Tomorrow is another day thank you Jesus for taking care of us. Amen Love Mson

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Posted: 08-05-08 10:21am


Mson...you make me laugh ...then you make me cry ...and you always make me think Thank you I will take all that you have said and use it in my life. I understand about forgiveness...baby steps...it cant happen over night all at once...I get it now. Wow! Those fajitas are making my mouth water...they look SO delicious... Yummie!! I am impressed with BH's skills in the kitchen! I woke up at 9:30 and had ....I ate lots yesterday and last night snaked before bed so i am not hungry this morning. I will have a big lunch...left over Chinese that Ricky made... Today I will do my exercise..treadmill and maybe...not sure...lift weights for a bit. My elbow is much better. I will take it EZ and C how it goes.. Have a great morning!! ht tp://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RwiFqjyBJ2o&am p;feature=related Love, Homer P.S. A weekly call would be GREAT! Thank you!! any time ...I love hearing your voice..its sweet!

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Posted: 08-05-08 10:28am


P.S. We will figure some way to visit each other...you 2 here or us there...we will find a way...for sure. xoxo,me

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Homerx my dear! Posted: 08-05-08 13:04pm


Jesus that my brother Homerx is up and kicking. Hallelujah Jesus. BH likes to have left overs for breakfast. He enjoyed the fajitas this morning. I hear breakfast is our power food and one should have some every morning. But it is just one day you missed so I suppose that is OK. Today I woke up at 10:00am. I came and checked messages and was very happy to read from you and that song is awesome Homerx. It lifted up my heart. I am glad to hear that your elbow is better. I worry about you and that elbow. how is the neck? Is it all dissolved like the green witch on the wizard of oz? Today I did not feel like doing laundry because I thought I was late and the machines might have been booked. Then I remembered how I used to be depressed and never did the laundry. The floor upstairs was full of clothes then. I did not want this to happen again and so I picked myself up and went to do laundry. So easy to do. Put soap, coins, clothes and start the machine. Done! It is time to have cereal. Then I will skip rope and watch two of my shows. You see Homerx, if I do dishes at night, I don't wake up depressed. The trick is to have the dishes done every evening. for your prayers and those of Bobbie because I am building character. I am fighting laziness. It is good to know what is eating me. Laziness get thee behind me in Jesus name! You dull my life and you are defeated in Jesus name. The wash is in the drier. Then in an hour I will fold the clothes and put away. Awesome. Today I need to go to the bank and book an appointment for the credit increase on our business credit card. Then I have to go to the lawyer's office and pick up my finger print forms. I will have the finger prints done next week. I am working this afternoon. You are doing an awesome job with your exercises and you inspire me to skip and walk. We'll talk every Monday. Reconnect after the weekend. I know we will meet eyeball to eyeball be it here or there or both. Oh, and I have to take some clothes to the tailor. I have delayed this for long enough. BH has two of his trousers torn between the legs. They are good clothes and just need to be professionally mended. If I mend them, they get torn again. Breakfast time as soon as I post.. Have a good day and please tell me how it is going. Love you lots Your sister Mson