At age 29 marrying a man slightly insecure
and from a social class lower than her,
but however much more attractive and
slender than she tells the man that she
was abused,. He asks when and she replied
I found out when I was 21 in college. He
inquired and she said that one day she
remembered being sexually abused bya
friend of the family, and gave no name or
time frame which it occured.
4 years pass.
The girl is increasingly overweight, the
man has lost interest in her. And
everytime they try to talk, she brings up
the fact t hat she was abused and doesnot
want to lose weight bc she doesnt want a
manattracted to her. Excuse or truth?
She frequently misleads the man into
thinking they will do this and that but
makes excuses for why somethings do not
happen.
When she is asked a specific question, she
never answers, only violently reacts with
a defense like who me? And attacts the
man
after 4 years of strangeness and
inconsistacies, the man requests a divoce,
she threatens suicide 4 times.
Says she is pregnant, which later says she
is not, says she is marrying a man named
peter, and another man named jon, and has
had sex with them numerous times.
Help
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Emilyoemily
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2004 Posts: 5 Location: Texas
Posted: 06-26-04 23:32pm
If your the man, suggest couples therapy-
she'll appreciate your interest in the
relationship. If your the woman, go to
therapy. This is the only way you can
get helped. Not getting treatment for
something like this can only cause more
problems. If you really care, you must
find a way to get counseled.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 06-27-04 01:15am
I totally agree with emilyoemily, but
would add that (& I am assuming that
there are no children involved) it may be
that the only way to get her to see sense
is for you to end the relationship (then
she may get help & if not at least you
have a chance to start a new life &
find someone who doesn't lie &
manipulate, someone you can have kids with
without wondering whose they are etc etc.
Counselling for both of you - whether as a
couple or as individuals is needed - you
can't get on with your life until you deal
with a lot of issues she's raised during
your marriage, which have almost certainly
left you with trust issues.
As to you saying you're from a lower
social class, social class etc is what you
make it - you can choose to "better"
yourself, you can choose to see yourself
as "second" class not as good etc or you
can say i'm as good as anyone.
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lollipop4u
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 79 Location: pottsboro
the Person With the Problem ... Posted: 06-30-04 07:38am
Please, stand up ! Are you sitting down ?
You shouldn 't be ! Your emphasis is on
the " flesh ", rather than, her " spirit
", which, if you haven 't matured, this
girl isn 't the one that will " work " for
you ... Right now ... Or ... Vice
versa ! Ok ... So ... When christ
died on the cross ... He didn 't specify
a certain weight ... Like you just did
for her . Life ... Is not a joke ! You
... May not have found this out yet but
... Maybe ... She has ! This young
lady ... May have had an abortion that
she 's grieving the loss of a child &
is looking to keep herself from ... More
sorrow . If so, yes, she 'll need a "
personal trained counselor " . And, you
... Will simply need to grow, that 's
right ... Grow ... as a human being !
Seriously, laura
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jessicx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Not the Answer... Posted: 07-08-04 20:15pm
Don't divorce her to try to drive the
point home, and don't do something to try
to "convince" her she's insane. It will
drive her to do worse than anything she's
tried so far. It's like the old
cliche....." tell a suicidal person to
think about their family before they do
something drastic"... It doesn't work and
actually makes them even sicker. She
needs psychotherapy. Don't think about
drugs. Just get her to a psychologist
asap. Maybe all she needs to do is talk
to someone.
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lollipop4u
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 79 Location: pottsboro
Are You ... Posted: 07-09-04 16:28pm
Internally or externally motivated I
say ... You are easily ... Externally
motivated I say
... You are ... Easy as pie ...
To " see through " ... " the looking
glass self "
motivated
& ... If ... How you ... Or ...
Any " innocent " you happen to meet along
your not so merry little way ... Try to
do your very damnedest ... To just
simply ... " measure up " ... In this
sickest of the sick societies of the green
earth & if that 's all this
potentially " good " life is ... To you
... & ... If the biggest ...
Problem ... That you will ever face ...
Is something like stealing somebody 's
$ 200 .00 sneakers ... Then ... How
well are you not
her, mr." beam in your eyes " no ... Not
her ... You ... Hello ... It 's ...
All about ... " you "
you and me ... And therefore ... We
... Are " living " .. All of us ...
In a " sick society "
and if ... All you care about in this
life is the exterior or " shell " of
another
then ... What in the world kind of an
fool are you ??? So ... If you
continue with your life 's ambition &
" kneel down " before " your god " of
shopping @ neiman marcus for a little
piece of " class " ... help
others, such as, the young lady in
question will you help her
toward developing insecurities ... Or
... Pray tell us, on the net ... Will
you for some " ungodly " reason ... Help
her and others in his old world that you
like to judge, so heartlessly, to feel,
more secure
there is just one thing ... That I am
certain of ... You need to learn how to
use different " measuring sticks " exceptionally,
laura
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 07-09-04 19:31pm
Lollipop4u
insanity4u is more
like it - what the hell post are you
replying to????
someone is in a relationship with alot of
emotional twists/lies & problems -
which none of us knows whether they are
true or false
but where did you come up with the garbage
about shopping
& stealing sneakers & the
abortion rubbish come from - your own sick
mind
twisted
how about you go find a sight for people
who want to write insane garbage &
stories rather than coming here where
people come to try & find som e
help/advice.
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lollipop4u
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 79 Location: pottsboro
Ok People ... Posted: 07-23-04 19:20pm
Maybe it shows something about the
relationship of which you, the " accusor "
make up one half . I say, we get this
girl into some sunshine and or a church
where she can speak with a christian
counselor, or for that matter, anyone who
cares even a little about her instead of
what size she comes in !!! Laura
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 07-23-04 19:53pm
Maybe you haven't yet matured anough to
realize that
a) some people do not believe in
god/religion of any kind
b) many religious councillors are
untrained & bigoted(esp. Re women
& their place etc
c) this "girl" is not the one seeking help
- perhaps asking for some further
information about this couple would be
more effective than coming up with your
own scenarios etc.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-10-04 07:47am
Jessicx
i just wanted to say that sometimes does
work. I know for a fact that can work.
If a suicidal person is put in the mind of
how his loved ones would feel if he did
kill himself it can put things into a
whole different perspective. No, it will
not work all of the time, but it does work
for some.
as a human being !
Seriously, laura
