Eating Disorders Forum


Update?!	Join us now!

Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Eating Disorders -> Update?!

Medical Questions

Author

Message

hayleyJade

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Apr 2004
Posts: 5

Update?! Posted: 05-04-04 17:00pm


Hi ppl, how was your day today? It was loooong for me (from other topic)i appreciate what your all telling me I really do but zilbucks you said yourself you have been through all this before and so you’ll forgive me if I say I understand what your saying and, its like- im not dumb or anything- I know all the risks of bulimia and anorexia- but they get pushed to the back of my head and I couldn’t just stop wanting to be thin even if I tried? I feel disgusting if I eat any amount of food above 300 cals. (although iam a bit sceptical about losing weight faster by eating 4-6 meals a day- by not eating anything in a day it is much faster and easier and better cos all the body fat gets eaten away-.) i will definitely keep you informed and I will try to be good to my body by not throwing up or using laxatives cos I no they put on weight and are very bad and could kill me that’s why im determined not to do it anymore. As for the whole eating thing- im sorry I just cant go against all ive worked for and start eating and getting fat now. In fact im on my second day of my fast and all is going well - it actually works out twice as well cos if I don’t eat I don’t hav to throw up and im still losing weight! Happy faces all round. The reason I have to see a counsellor isn’t for bulimia either, they don’t know about that, they just know that something is up with my eating and they think im depressed or something! Im sick of lying to the people I love but I just wish they would leave me alone and let me feel the way I feel in peace you no? Its like theyre expecting so much of me. I just want to run away sometimes. Thanx for putting up with me and my whining, this site is like an outlet for me! Take care everyone xoxo

zilbucks

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 25 Apr 2004
Posts: 210
Location: NY

Posted: 05-05-04 06:19am


Hey hayley, i'm glad you wrote back, and I hope you will keep coming on- I know your not dumb, i'm sorry it came off that way- just speaking from personal experience, i'm tryoing to give you as much knowledge as I can. You understand your consequences and the severity, theres really nothing that I can say, I know how tis e.D works, and its up to you to help yourself.... I wish I could just show you thaat there was a different way, but we'll all be here for you good or bad, when you need help, take care

hayleyJade

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Apr 2004
Posts: 5

Posted: 05-09-04 12:33pm


Thanks again zilbucks for being there I no your just offering your help and I didnt mean to snap I really do appreciate it. How was your week? Mine was good up until yesterday. Today would have been my seventh day of my fast, but I stuffed it all up yesterday when I kinda fainted and couldnt even get outta bed I was so weak and my mum guessed it was to do with food and made me eat! Wel I was feelin like crap and I could have pretended to or argued or something but I still ruined it I put the food in my mouth im so angry at myself im so weak! and then to make it worse I got totally outta control and b/p. I promised myself I wouldnt do it! Arhhh! Im so upset at the moment I cant stop crying. Its not just that its everything I feel like I have nothing to live for at the moment. I dont know wat to do with myself i also saw the counsellor (sigh of relief) and told her I really dont think there is a problem and I dont want to talk to anyone, and she said she was worried but they couldnt make me (ha ha). So I dont know whats gonna happen but for now they are off my back. Hope everyone is well xoxo

purple333

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Posts: 1420
Location: Sydney

Posted: 05-09-04 14:15pm


Hayleyjade, first you obviously have incredible willpower & self control & I suspect that you are extremely bright & probably in many ways very mature but all that said you are killing yourself & you are in denial . You do need help very very badly & very very fast. the question you need to answer is do I want to die or live? the way you are going leads to a long slow agonizing death , however if you use all that willpower & self-control you can regain your health :d :d start to be happy & have a great life the choice is yours.

Julie25

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Teesside, UK

Posted: 07-16-04 15:52pm


I came across this thread really late, but I thought i'd post one quick comment. Hayleyjade, normal eating doesn't mean becoming fat. You have to stop thinking that if you eat regularly, you will automatically become fat! Food is not your enemy, you need it to survive. And you are not greedy if you eat, you are a human and human beings need to eat, just like we need to sleep, go to the toilet, have sex etc. It is a natural drive. Imagine being a nice shape (not stick thin though!) and still being healthy! It's not impossible. I am recovering from bulimia, and I know two other girls who are, and we eat 4-6 times daily (with moderate exercise) and are not fat. In fact, my friend who has been recovering for a year is very slim and attractive. I am still battling with a few excess pounds, but that is because my metabolism is messed up. I am confident my body wil be back to normal in about six months. Recovery is possible for everyone! Anorexia and bulimia are not ways of dieting, but you already know that, don't you. You will only become fat if you continue to binge, on top of the normal meals. But I can tell you that's unlikely to happen, because once you start eating regularly, the urge to binge passes eventually. It will still come, but less frequently, and by that time you will be able to deal with it better, because counselling will teach you to. It is true!!! The reason you binged after 7 days is because you fasted and your body was screaming for food. Don't be surprised if you overate!!! You need to establish a regular eating plan, I can tell you it would most likely save your life. Like purple said, you need help. Use your counselling sessions, you may not get another chance! Counselling saved my life. But that's because I want to live. Don't you want to live? I wish you the best of luck, my heart goes out to you.

Update?!