Okay, I'm not sure where to start since
this is my first time trying to open up
but here it goes... Basically i wanted to
know if there is anyone out there who has
over come their depression/anxiety? Okay
first off i am 25. I have had alot of
problems growing up. I've been thru sexual
abuse from a young age and has happened
atleast 9 times until now, my mother had
cancer and became very ill and had alomost
died when i was about 6 then became
handicapped and My father left me and my
siblings at that age to take care of her,
I've always had people in my life turn on
me for no good reason and have been hurt
in some way by basically every friend and
family member, I used to hurt myself by
cutting and hitting myself. Well,
basically I've had alot of rough times and
issues and there are just too many to
list.... but the most recent was the loss
of my first child. After that time i
noticed that i just started to lose
myself. I have been diagnosed with ocd,
deppression, anxiety disorder, panic
something...etc, etc , etc.... I have now
2 children and a wonderful boyfriend of 10
years and i have a good life but i cant
seem to enjoy it???! I am always so afraid
of everything and im afraid that i'll push
my children and boyfriend away.... I want
then to see me happy and to know how much
i really do love them. Well, here are my
symptoms...
Cant go anywhere by myself, and i cant
drive anymore
Have panic/anxiety attacks almost
everytime i leave my house
I am always scared and worried about
everything!
I cant eat half of the time because i get
a panic attack and cant swallow
I have mood changes, i just get soo
frustrated and cant concentrate, i get soo
mad sometimes that i feel like im gonna
explode
noise and people just irratate the hell
out of me sometimes to where i just wanna
scream
I hate myself for being this way
I cant control my thoughts, i feel as
though my mind just keeps going and i cant
control what going on in my head
I have no interest in things i once loved
etc, etc, etc....
It's alot and i just wanted to know if
anyone had a wide variety of
symptoms/problems like i do and if so has
anyone made it back/come back to life? My
son is ready for kindergarden this year
and i worry how i will be able to take him
to school and pick him up?? I cant even go
to the store to get dinner or lunch, My
son wants to go to disneyland this year
with my family but yet i am too afraid to
fly and he will not go without me... I
know that i will end up ruining my kids
lives if i cant get over this.... Please
just any advice? Anyone have any good
stories on getting better and what
treatments may work? Please? Thank you!
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Re: Anyone? Posted: 02-19-08 11:56am
Howdy do
Sorry to hear you have goen through all of
those things--you are a very strong
person!!
Alright...you sound like you need
vacation! And I think disneyland would be
perfect--yes...scared to fly...but think
about your son. You being a parent--
every parent knows- you have to put aside
your needs.. and put his 1st. People fly
everyday--and it's even safer than
driving. Heck- the president even
flies!!
Now... as for your stress... you need to
releax-- stressing and flipping out
doesn't help...just creates more trouble,
and you start doing things for yourself.
Whether it be going to the gym, signing up
for a class, going on a walk, getting a
pet- or a hobby.. something to ease your
tenison/nerves. Childern can feel
stress...so don't think he can't sense
something is wrong.
I hope this helps-- cheer up strong one
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1774 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 40
Thanked:24
Posted: 02-19-08 14:00pm
Flying is the safest way to travel! Don't
worry about that.
Even tho the past has formed into who you
are, don't let it control how you are and
who you want to be....and we know that you
want to be a happy and accomplished person
and a good mom!
You need to be brave for your son and your
family and realize that life is a
wonderful thing if you only see how many
things there are to enjoy about it. Don't
look at the negative side. Think about
the fact that you are not in control of
when you are going to die (if we did some
of us would live forever) and push it
aside completely.
If you worry all the time, your life is
going to pass you by and you won't have
lived it to the fullest. You owe it to
yourself to not worry and be happy.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 02-20-08 12:11pm
You have a better chance of getting hit by
a car then the safety of a plane. My son
and cousin are both pilots. One is a
private and the other flies a jet for a
private company. Just like I have
aquaphobia. You can't get me on a boat
period. Going over a bridge is horrifing
to me. So, I know just how you feel. But,
I love to fly.
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-20-08 12:43pm
It sounds like you're experiencing severe
anxiety and depression. To gain some
peace it might help you to see a
counselor. They could help you sort
things out and teach you how to deal with
them. Once the depression and anxiety
lift you should see dramatic changes in
how you interact with others and what you
think of yourself. It's easier to show
love to others when you're happy with
yourself and love yourself. You're
strong, you've survived a messed up past
and you'll survive this because of your
strength.
(Most communities have low cost or
sliding-scale clinics if you don't have
insurance.)
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Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 81
Thanked:116
I agree Posted: 02-20-08 13:03pm
I totally agree with bakin_april. There
are a number of places you can go for the
help you need. Its a chemical imbalance
and there are meds that can help correct
this. I will be 51 this year and I am
living proof. I also was daignosed as OCD
and depressed. Took a lot of therapy, time
and different combo of meds, but I am no
longer afraid to leave my house. You can
not get time back. Its time you did
something to help keep your family
together. Seek the proper care you need to
get your life back to NORMAL.. Take that
place to Disneyland and have yourself a
ball...........you can do this if you are
willing to take back control of your life!
Hugs!
