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rocker_kid715

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Masterbation causing stressful feelings Posted: 02-20-08 20:14pm


Hi there, im 15 years old and i have been masterbating for about 2 years. I know there is nothing wrong with masterbating, its a natural thing that people do. My problem is that masterbating has caused me some annoying mental problems. Whenever i think of masterbating i get stressed (i sweat, my hands and feet get cold, i have to go to the bathtroom ect...). And i KNOW this is because i fundamentally think masterbating is somewhat wrong. Im not very religious but i believe in god and i feel that masterbating is SOMEWHAT of a sin. The other problem is im always worried that im going to get caught. And i feel guilty afterwords, i always tell myself i should stop and that its bad. I know these are common problems people face. But its really starting to affect me, any time i get arroused i start to get stressed. I have latley been trying to conveince myself that its okay to masterbate. But it doesnt seem to work that great. This is really annoying me and i am somewhat worried it will affect me in the long run. My question is, is there really anything i can do to stop the stress fealing i get when i masterbate, or think about masterbating?

TerryFunk

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Posted: 02-25-08 18:48pm


Wow. Not sure how to answer this. It's not wrong and you know that. Honestly, it's my only relief from the crap I'm going through. I think we all have these feelings at times, and it's normal. I suggest going to someone like perhaps your parents, or if that's too embarassing, someone at school and talking to them about it. It's been a while since I've been 15, but I remember the feelings, as well. I think when you become older, you'll realize there's nothing to be stressed about. Don't worry about getting caught, etc... Other than that, not sure what to say.

MiseEire

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Posted: 02-26-08 17:27pm


First of all, ditch all religious guilt. Whether religious or not, masturbation is not an act of evil or anything like that. If your body can do it, then it pretty-much is supposed to do it. I'm not religious but if you were to take the theory that God made man in his image then there's a pretty likely chance that even he too would masturbate. What you're feeling is uncommon. It's probably a phase you'll pass through sooner or later. To avoid getting caught or anything, just make sure you have privacy. Masturbation is the last thing that should be stressful.

homerx

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Posted: 02-26-08 17:41pm

MiseEire wrote:

First of all, ditch all religious guilt. Whether religious or not, masturbation is not an act of evil or anything like that. If your body can do it, then it pretty-much is supposed to do it. I'm not religious but if you were to take the theory that God made man in his image then there's a pretty likely chance that even he too would masturbate.

What you're feeling is uncommon. It's probably a phase you'll pass through sooner or later. To avoid getting caught or anything, just make sure you have privacy. Masturbation is the last thing that should be stressful.

so true...masturbating is a stress reliever if anything. God doesn't care.... I am sure he has bigger things to worry about..war or you masturbating? death and disease or you masturbating? hunger, hurricanes, homicide, child molesters, divorce, floods,disasters of all kinds, evil of all kinds or you masturbating? It wouldn't make since for God to micro manage if he does exist...he has bigger things to worry about than you or I having a little wacky wacky every now and again...no biggie.

brtammy

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Posted: 02-26-08 18:09pm


the fact that you are feeling odd when you want to do it, tells you right there that you feel guilty. because whether anyone wants to believe it or not, we have a inborn conscience . And it is telling you to stop and you are ignoring it.Not a big deal dude, just stop it. If you dont stop, you will damage your outlook on real regular sex with a woman, and have a warped inappropriate view .your 15, your hormones have no outlet, but now this is a bad habit that you need to break. the bible does indeed condemn masterbating, as it is self abuse, we were not created to abuse ourselves in that manor. God gave us a conscience, now use it the right way. find something else to do ,to get you out of a situation where you will feel the need. tell yourself not to do it, and hopefully when your 21 youll find a nice girl to marry and she will take care of it for you.

marvel

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Posted: 02-27-08 15:38pm


hi, rocker. First of all, ignore the post above this one. We do NOT have an innate conscience. We only can rely on what we are being told as a result of generations of built up discipline, ideas and religious influence. You feel guilty about masturbation because of the anti-sexual pleasure culture you find yourself growing up in. It feels good. You aren't harming anyone or anything. What on earth could be wrong with anything that feels good but doesn't hurt anyone or anything? And as for this "it changes your outlook on real regular sex with a woman" mumbo-jumbo. Masturbation and sex are NOT the same thing.... at all. Sex is WAY better than masturbation, and you will realise this whenever your time comes. It therefore cannot change or damage your outlook on sex. It won't. It is natural for us to explore our bodies. We weren't given (or we didn't develop, depending on your religious view) these bodies full of pleasure centres for nothing. I do believe that sex should be saved for someone special.. absolutely. Masturbation is for you... it's your method of exploration. Use to to find what feels good. You can then communicate this to any future sexual partner... it makes for a very intimate experience. And I hope you don't get married when you're 21. I do hope, tough, that she will "take care of it for you." You can tell her what to 'take care of' because you'll already know because you would have explored what feels good. Peace. If you have any more questions, fire away.

MiseEire

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Posted: 02-27-08 15:55pm

brtammy wrote:

the fact that you are feeling odd when you want to do it, tells you right there that you feel guilty. because whether anyone wants to believe it or not, we have a inborn conscience . And it is telling you to stop and you are ignoring it.Not a big deal dude, just stop it. If you dont stop, you will damage your outlook on real regular sex with a woman, and have a warped inappropriate view .your 15, your hormones have no outlet, but now this is a bad habit that you need to break.
the bible does indeed condemn masterbating, as it is self abuse, we were not created to abuse ourselves in that manor.
God gave us a conscience, now use it the right way.
find something else to do ,to get you out of a situation where you will feel the need.
tell yourself not to do it, and hopefully when your 21 youll find a nice girl to marry and she will take care of it for you.

The quoted post is HIGHLY misleading. The only inborn conscience we have are our instincts and should that result in masturbating occasionally, so be it!

As humans, we are quite unique in our sexual habits. We walk upright and have the largest male genitalia of all the high primates due to this (probably also due to our habit of emotionally-attached, belly-to-belly copulation). We have opposable thumbs and far-reaching arms. A human male is designed to masturbate. My theory is, as society has developed over hundreds of thousands of years, we have evolved to the point where we must adapt to the social circumstances in order to survive better. Humans look over each other, animalistic mating is limited to chaotic existence. Humans feel a lot more physical pleasure when having sex therefore masturbation, for lack of having regular intercourse, is a useful practice in order to better ourselves sexually.

Insofar as having sex if you never masturbate, you are likely to perform terribly. Control over orgasm and pleasuring your partner is extremely difficult when you don't know how to even do it yourself. As I said, animalistic sex is out. Human sexuality is based around pleasuring your partner, we thrive on this. Masturbation prepares for this. Simple as.

homerx

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Posted: 02-27-08 16:01pm


MiseEire and marvel...yes and yes...

marvel

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Posted: 02-27-08 16:01pm


ooo, very nice, MiseEire

Helpatlast

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Posted: 02-27-08 16:24pm


Dear rocker-kid....I went through the same thing...with the guilt. It wasn't from religion, it was from being beaten by my parents whenever I simply asked about sex, or showed any interest in that fuction. When it was finally time to become a sexually functioning young lady, I found that I was frigid with a partner, though I'd been managing to masturbate alone with some success. As time has gone on, I've fought to establish a sense of personal freedom, which is what I'd suggest for you as well - because in the end, I'm so highly sexually functioning that many people have asked ME for advice. I broke though! Sex has become one of the cornerstones of a HEALTH regimen for me. My libido, at age 47 now, goes way beyond the average. It motivates me to attend the gym, eat right...I want to look as good as I can for my partner. Centerfold stuff. What I have found of folks is that if they have any shame associated with their normal physical functions, it's a blow to their self-esteem. It's so important to get to know and love yourself...and treat that bod like the personal temple that it is. The exercises I would prescribe for someone fighting against the taboos that interrupt a healthy sexual outlook are; Library trips to seek out literature about natives...and generally, folks who run around nude without hang-ups....(they have a lot to teach us, and it inspires one to accept nudity for themselves), going ahead and freely implement fantasies that you find pleasure in during your "self-administrations"... maybe talk to a peer that you trust - ask someone how they feel about masturbation- (get feedback), exercise in a mirror - find beauty in yourself...and realize...your body belongs to you....nobody is watching, nobody is judging...you have one life to live...LIVE IT. I wish you many, many fine hours of gratification. I'm sure you will...you already have the intelligence to seek answers and not stay bound to that BS that holds you back.

homerx

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Posted: 02-27-08 16:27pm


Helpatlast...very good.

mr tibbs

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Posted: 02-27-08 16:37pm


Generally nature is a very astute entity in as much that it would not make masturbation a pleasurable act if it was not, in some way, beneficial to our health and well-being! As for the act disturbing a god then ponder on this; A god really should have more concern about the terrible human suffering in this world - a mother killed in a road accident, a child born with congenital brain damage, families dying of hunger in Africa. I have a feeling that your natural and necessary desires which harm no one will not register very highly on some deity's priority.

Helpatlast

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Posted: 02-27-08 20:22pm


Yeah, and about the god thing...I met a minister who felt so passionately about God being responsible for his carnal enjoyment...(God being the creator of our bodies and all), that he would interrupt his sessions with his wife and expound in loud verbiage how thankful he was to have gotten such a fine gift from the creator. A little too out there for me, and for his wife - she left him, but if someone has to do the bible thing, I think it makes a good point. The pleasure of sight, smell, taste....any pleasure...if you believe that the biblical God gave us these, and you want to be thankful for what we've been given, then do those gifts justice and use all of them.

s2163201

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Posted: 02-27-08 20:42pm


I'm a medical student and I have come across young guys with this same problem. Some - and I stress NOT ALL of them - have this feeling of guilt because they are homosexual. When they masturbate, they fantasize about men, and this can cause them some confusion and guilt about being gay. We don't need to know if this is the case, Rocker, but you need to know that it's okay to be gay if you are. Regardless of what the religious and small-minded say.

brtammy

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Posted: 02-28-08 08:33am


rocker kid, If it makes YOU feel uncomfortable stop it, its not about anyone elses opinion, why should anyone make you go against your own self? If it hurt to poke yourself in the eye, why would you keep doing it? Masterbation is an addiction, if it wasnt, you and many others would have stopped by now. thats why people make exscuses like these. IF in fact you believe in God, then dont you care what HE thinks, and not all these people on here telling YOU what YOU want to hear? People look for any reason to justify behavior , so they will ask for an opinion untill they get one they like, so they can continue to do what they want, saying that God made our bodies to do what we want with is a lie, thats not what it says in the bible. it also says in the bible that homosexuality is a sin worthy of death. no your not gay, your not abnormal, however, why does anyone feel the need to masturbate ? simply for the self involved feeling of an orgasm,[ and if for stress like I have hear, then, find out why your stressed and deal with that].thus misusing something wonderfull to be shared with with our husband or wife. Yes it is a gift from God, but not to be abused like some people are doing. And yes we do have an inborn conscience, if we dint you wouldnt be having a problem, and all these people wouldnt be trying to justify thier own behavior with comments like these. Its not what WE think its IS what God thinks that we should be concerned with And just because some people reason in thier imperfect minds that God accepts everyone no matter what, It tells me that they have never read the bible and if they did choose to interpret it to please themselves.[which by the way is what the bible says people will do]

homerx

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Posted: 02-28-08 10:13am

brtammy wrote:

rocker kid,
If it makes YOU feel uncomfortable stop it, its not about anyone elses opinion, why should anyone make you go against your own self? If it hurt to poke yourself in the eye, why would you keep doing it? Masterbation is an addiction, if it wasnt, you and many others would have stopped by now. thats why people make exscuses like these.
IF in fact you believe in God, then dont you care what HE thinks, and not all these
people on here telling YOU what YOU want to hear? People look for any reason to justify behavior , so they will ask for an opinion untill they get one they like, so they can continue to do what they want, saying that God made our bodies to do what we want with is a lie, thats not what it says in the bible.
it also says in the bible that homosexuality is a sin worthy of death.
no your not gay, your not abnormal, however, why does anyone feel the need to masturbate ?
simply for the self involved feeling of an orgasm,[ and if for stress like I have hear, then, find out why your stressed and deal with that].thus misusing something wonderfull to be shared with with our husband or wife. Yes it is a gift from God, but not to be abused like some people are doing. And yes we do have an inborn conscience, if we dint you wouldnt be having a problem, and all these people wouldnt be trying to justify thier own behavior with comments like these.
Its not what WE think its IS what God thinks that we should be concerned with
And just because some people reason in thier imperfect minds that God accepts
everyone no matter what, It tells me that they have never read the bible and if they did choose to interpret it to please themselves.[which by the way is what the bible says people will do]

You think gay people should be put to death? Is that what your saying???
And by the way , the bible, that book of Gods Laws you keep talking about, also says...if you eat shell fish you are doomed to hell, if you speak out in church you are doomed to hell, if a woman shows her arms. legs or cuts her hair she should be stoned, all women should keep there heads covered and heads bowed and be subservient to men, never speak in church, never eat pork or you are doomed to hell, and it goes on and on...so brtammy, try to remember this little tid bit...Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged! Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone. Thats what gets me about the ultra religious right, you pick and choose what you want to put in and what you want to leave out...why do you want to make this pore kid feel like he is going to hell just for masturbating once in a while? Does that somehow absolve you of your sins?
And rocker kid...if it bothers you that much then stop it. If you are that ate up with guilt then you have worse problems then masturbation..

MiseEire

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Posted: 02-28-08 10:47am

brtammy wrote:

I hope you're proud of the fact that you may very well be making this kid's unfortunate dilemma even worse. You should be ashamed of yourself. Typical fundamental religious gibberish. It's hilarious how you preach about the word of God and your flawless sense of morality when all it causes is more confusion and fear. You give honest religious people a bad name.

Masturbation is not an addiction and it is not comparable to poking oneself in the eye. It is a perfectly normal bodily function for lack of having a sexual partner available at the time, teenage boys generally don't have wives! To call it an addiction is like calling eating, breathing or sleeping an addiction. Very few things are actually addictive in the true sense of the word. It seems to be the current fad to call anything "addictive" these days, from playing video games to ensuring that your house is clean.

Now take your superstitious nonsense and utter it elsewhere.

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Posted: 02-28-08 10:57am

MiseEire wrote:

brtammy wrote:

Well put, MiseEire respect

marvel

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Posted: 02-28-08 13:45pm

brtammy wrote:

You do realise that it makes him feel uncomfortable because he has grown up in this type of culture? He has grown up in a culture that has convinced him that pleasure (the kind that doesn't hurt anybody at all) is BAD. He feels guilt because of people like you fostering it. NOT because God has instilled it.

And to the med student, I totally get what you're saying. I had intense feelings of guilt after I would masturbate when I was younger. And I'm gay.

Oh, shouldn't that mean I should be punished with death? Let the one who hasn't sinned cast the first stone.

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Posted: 02-28-08 14:01pm


I guess I must be a freak...I NEVER felt guilty. As a matter of fact, my father once said not to worry about it because it doesn't cause pimples...which i had heard at school that it did! My dad told me it was normal and my dad is a wise and loving and caring man...he didn't want to warp his children with threats of hell and damnation over something as trivial as masturbating..it isn't like murdering a person...choking the chicken is just an expression!