As a girlfriend of a sufferer of TMS for 2
years, I can say first and foremost, TMS
is REAL, I've had to put up with the
frustrations of being a female on the
recieving end of a man who suffers from
this and goes in and out of denial and
acceptance because of all the conflicting
information about it. Frankly, I don't
care what the doctors say about how
there's not enough research and its not an
issue, Have any of those doctors
experienced it themselves or had a partner
who did? I KNOW this is a problem
especially when a man who has it tries to
have an intimate relationship, mabye a lot
of men who suffer can live in denial
because they are rarely intimate with a
woman long enough to see how it affects a
real RELATIONSHIP, but let me assure you
if you want more than a life of solo sex,
you going to have to admit you have it and
take steps to correct it, I'm pretty sure
the guy who wrote "HEALTHY STROKES" knows
exactly what he's talking about because he
suffered it himself but also learned how
to correct it. If any guy out there
reading this really wants to know how to
please and keep a woman for the long term,
he's going to have to correct this, or
keep living in denial and enjoy solo sex
for life. Are there any other women who've
been on the recieving end of this or men
who want to step up and admit it does
cause MAJOR issues in a long term sexual
relationship??? BE BRAVE! LETS get the
real info. out there to those who suffer
so they can stop hiding in denial and
start the solution NOW!
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BeccaAloha
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
From SOMEONE who KNOWS...
Posted: 02-21-08 04:24am
Here's just a couple of reasons why a Male
who has TMS cannot continue to masturbate
this way if he want to keep a long term
sexual relationship with a woman:
1. A Woman actually enjoys seeing her man
masturbate and seeing his erect penis
while he does it, it turns a woman on to
see how confident her man is that he would
caress his hard penis right in front of
her
2. Masturbating in front of your woman
also shows her how much she turns you on
and is a great way to keep the intimacy
going at times when the woman cannot or
does not want intercourse
2a. There are many normal reasons and
times when a man will want sex and his
woman does not, (for some its dryness
after her period, for some its too messy
during her period, just not in the mood,
painful conditions in the vagina and
intercourse makes it worse, tired, sick,
etc)
for all these reasons, a man masturbating
in front of his woman is completely normal
and healthy
3. Women enjoy sex in many different
positions and do not want to be forced to
only have one type of sex for the rest of
their life because that's the only way
their Man can ejaculate
4. Yes, we may all have our preferences of
course but man and woman can and should
enjoy sex from a variety of positions esp.
in a long term relationship to keep things
interesting
5. The pressure that a TMS man puts on his
penis when he masturbates is way too hard
when compared with the natural sensation
of a vagina around it, therefore his penis
becomes desensitized and the commom vagina
does nothing or very little to stimulate
this desensitized penis
6. And then there's all the repercussions
and emotional strain of all this
6.a. The TMS man rarely ejaculates from
intercourse with his woman and Has NEVER
reached orgasm from a hand job or oral sex
from his WOMAN!! again ruling out several
other ways to share intimacy when a woman
cannot or doesn't want intercourse
6.b. The Man and woman get frustrated from
sex and all sexual encounters because
eventually neither of them are pleased
6.c. the woman feels unsexy like maybe its
her fault he cannot come, maybe I'm not
hot enough, or whatever-----enough, etc.
6.d. the man starts to feel inadequate
when he realizes his woman is not pleased
because he is not pleased
6.e. the man adds even more pressure to
himself to enjoy intercourse and keep an
erect penis to atleast please his woman
with an orgasm since he cannot enjoy one,
but again this only adds to the problem
6.f. now the man has not only TMS but
performance anxiety about pleasing his
woman and even lower self esteem and
reduced sexual confidence
6. g the woman now sensing this reduced
self esteem and confidence it even more so
turned off herself, and frustrated that
neither can enjoy sex now, the woman is
turned on by a confident man
AND ALL THIS CONTINUES TO SNOWBALL INTO
MORE AND MORE ISSUES UNTIL FINALLY THE MAN
AND WOMAN CONVINCE EACHOTHER THAT EVEN
THOUGH THEY LOVE EACHOTHER DEARLY AND ARE
COMPATIBLE IN EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF A
RELATIONSHIP, THAT THEY JUST AREN'T MEANT
TO BE BECAUSE THEIR SEX LIFE SUCKS, AND SO
THE MAN CONTINUES TO LIVE IN DENIAL THAT
ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH HIM AND BLAME IT
ALL ON THE WOMAN AND THE WOMAN RETREATS
WITH HER BROKEN HEART FOR ALL HER EFFORTS
ARE FOR NOTHING AND THAT AFTER TWO YEARS
OF PUTTING UP WITH THE FRUSTRATIONS OF
LOVING A TMS MAN SHE STILL CAN DO NOTHING
TO HELP BECAUSE HE CONTINUES TO LIVE IN
DENIAL AND EVEN BLAMES IT ON HER EVEN SO
IF ANYONE OUT THERE STILL THINKS THAT TMS
IS NOT A REAL PROBLEM I CHALLENGE YOU TO
EXPLAIN TO ME NOW WHY IT IS NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT AND NOT EVEN A REAL
SYNDROME
|
DoctorAnswer
Doctor Answer
Joined: 19 Dec 2005 Posts: 16777211
Thanks: 25
Thanked:0
Sexual Health - Men Answer A3754 Posted: 03-11-08 05:02am
It seems that the main problem you are
experiencing in your sexual relationship
is that your man ejaculates to reach
orgasm by self-masturbation rather than
having sexual intercourse with you
(vaginal, oral or manual). I don’t see
a problem here if your boyfriend still
likes to have sex with you and is still
able to satisfy you, unless you feel
emotionally neglected. I would agree that
there is a problem would if he, due to
excessive masturbation, lost his sexual
desire for you or became unable to satisfy
you. I didn’t read that you are
complaining about such a thing. It seems
only that you are only afraid that you may
be not good enough to satisfy your man.
Well, why not be a little more selfish in
sex? If you get sexual pleasure from him,
there is nothing to worried about. If he
wasn’t satisfied with your sexual
performance for these past 2 years, he
would probably have abandoned you long
time ago.
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