Why do Girls Get Pregnant Before They Are Proposed To?

Okay, put your dukes up. We're about to spar.

Sorry, I've been out with a chest cold and, remember, I'm old. It takes me a while for my autoimmune system to kick booty on those nasty bacteria.

A lot of marriages end in divorce, but the fact is that unmarried couples that live together break up at TWICE THE RATE of married couples.

futureshock, do you mean couples who lived together before marriage are more likely to divorce?

No. I mean people who live together instead of getting married.

You get married, you marry into the whole family, both sides of it. The family is there for good reason. They have themselves walked this path. You hit a bit of patchy ground, a bit of ice on the road, they have been there done that. It comes down to family support, experience getting there and who is to say we can't all use some advice? Who is better to give it to us than somebody who loves us? And, they have a vested interest in your relationship working out.

I believe to make a commitment before the whole nine yards of here comes the baby and oh! we are doing so well and it all may work out! For me it would not.

It is like everything that I know to now. You need a contract, whether it is buying a house, a new car, anything of value usually comes with a condition that you indeed want to be in possession of the item. Don't get mad here. But, frankly, I would like to feel I was worth the other person making that commitment that he was willing to put his name on the line. Otherwise, it is just too easy to walk away when the tough gets tough and the rough gets rough and it is time to get out of Dodge.

Some of you are very young and don't feel you need that commitment. Just the differences in our generations.

I just love your sense of humor lonestarguy. And, where is the picture of your grey cat? Mine keeps coming around here. Still feral. Everytime I walk out the door he runs from one area or another, he runs to show himself. Have tried to get him to come closer. May be quite a struggle. Have to get Kristy down here. She can tame even the most frightened heart of the beast of little cat lost. Kristy is my beautiful daughter.

Hey, I'm from the next generation (what are we calling ourselves these days? Confused, perhaps?) and I think marriage is the logical next step. I wouldn't be fighting for gay-marriage rights if I didn't feel that way.

who is more non-committal though? the person who won't get married or the person who will walk away from someone because they have a different view of marriage? long term relationships are about constant compromise and negotiation. i understand someone drawing a line but it's not really fair to assume someone is being used because they don't force the other person to either marry or be kicked to the curb.

Personally? The person who won't get married. If you're too stubborn to sign a piece of paper, then you're not mature enough for marriage and you're not ready.

There wouldn't be a fight for marriage rights if it meant "nothing". Gays and lesbians would technically be perfectly happy if that piece of paper was "worthless". But it's not, as they care, and I care. It's not just the benefits; it's the MEANING of the thing. Maybe it doesn't have meaning to you - fine. But it has a deep meaning, a meaning of equality and worthiness and love and commitment to many other people.

...and marriage doesn't mean the SAME thing to everyone. I know exactly what Birch means about cohabiting couples. There is a huge difference between my relationship and say, my best friend who lived with her boyfriend for 7 years. They were a lot younger at the time and had a lot of growing up to do. They were just starting out in life and by the time the 7 years had passed they realised they had different goals in life and moved on. With me and my partner, we were already old enough to know ourselves and what we want in life and were able to intentionally make a committment to each other in a mature way. We have every intention of being together for life and we have already experienced some of the "richer or poorer" and "in sickness and in health." The only thing that matters is that WE know, not what others looking in think.

This isn't personal lonestarguy; but I never know much of the point of responding about this subject. It's difficult to relate to someone else the unique perspectives we have, as well as the healthy relationship we have. I can say that our relationship is unique because we are unusual individuals but then people jump to conclusions about maturity and commitment. Which is fine with me, because they do not know anyone like us.

But I do love you very much and am going to respond anyways. Plus, I don't like my egg drop soup and need to while away my lunch time.



A wedding and a marriage, not to mention weddings versus marriage licenses/contractual obligations, are different monsters.

A contractual obligation between two parties to be together changes the dynamic of a relationship. I would rather someone make a choice to be with me everyday than be signed, sealed, and delivered into it.



This is very interesting. It's kind of exactly what I meant: my word is a "real" commitment.

You did not answer my question.
I do not need someone to be willing to put their word on the line, because that is all about money and material possessions. That signature does not protect anyone's heart.

We mutually decided this over the course of time. It was fairly early on.



Yes, I don't deny that.

I would not want someone who were not in love with me to be forced to be with me because of a contractual obligation. That is no way for me to live.

That's my choice; it's not for everyone.

We have as high an interactional level with one another's family as any married couple.



I really agree that if kids are involved, partners should be married for numerous reasons beneficial to their children.

I know it's gone off tack; I just want to reiterate my original post on here: Marriage does not automatically mean that someone is a good parent. Any loon can sign a document.

I hope all that made sense. I wrote it really fast...