Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum - My Abusive Relationship Nightmare

Where to start? If I covered everything it would take all night!

I met my x when I was 19. I had a daughter from a prior relationship who was 1. I had very very low self esteem and it was so great to have someone paying attention to me. My mom kicked my sister and I out and after he and I had been dating a week he said I could move in with him. He monopolized my life. Didnt allow me to have friends, emotionally and physically abused me. After 2 years I got pregnant with our son. Then I really felt trapped. I had two children from two different men and I wanted my kids to have a "real" family so bad I was willing to stay with someone who treated me like I was worthless. He cheated on me repeatedly ... over and over again. Granted, as far as I know it was always internet based but it didn't change the fact that it proved how little respect he had for my feelings. After leaving him several times and coming back again and again I found out he was a registerd sex offender!!!!! He had a million excuses and he was only 14 at the time so he thought I didn't deserve the right to know. We had moved and everytime I mentioned leaving he would throw me to the ground, rip my clothes off and leave me laying in a ball crying. He was jealous if I spent time with my kids. Always wanted them up in their bedrooms. No matter how often I was around him or he knew where I was at all times he called me a s*** and a w****. When he was the one always cheating on me!!!! I lived in an absolute fog for 7 years. There are even parts I have blocked out and honestly can't even remember anymore.

I met a fantastic domestic violence counseler who began talking to me in a weekly support group and I began to realize the way he treated me was not my fault and I did not deserve to be treated this way. I packed my kids and car and left one night while he was working 3rd shift. My heart was pounding in my ears while I packed but I was so excited! I was going to be free!

We went to the shelter and everyone was so nice. They counseled my kids and me. They made me feel so much better. I was still so afraid.

I got my own place. He got his. I would bring my son to him and 10 mins later he would call and ask if I could come back. My son missed me. He wanted to know why we couldn't hang out more often and watch movies and stuff (????????)

We took our kids to the movies together one weekend and he start asking my son (while I was pumping gas) who I was seeing. My son said I had a guy friend. My x went through my phone and got his number. He started a fight with me and threatened me. He refused to get out of my car and took away my cell phone from me.

He made me drive him to my house and he stayed over. The next morning my guy friend came over and my x threatened to stab him with a knife if he came into the house. I was so scared. I told my x I needed to run some errands with the kids and I got rid of him. I went to my parents crying and they said I should press charges. I did. The next day he broke into my house and left a butcher knife in my basement and cut up all my clothes for work.

I again called the police, got a restraining order and he is now in jail for numerous charges. Sometimes I feel bad because I didn't want to see him locked up but he had to realize his behavoir isn't normal and he has to move on. He had 7 years to hurt and abuse me!!!

If you are in an abusive, controlling relationship please consider talking to a domestic violence counseler. They can help you with so many things. You don't have to live your life in fear. You will wake up one day and wonder why you waited so long. It takes time and its not always easy but every day truly does get better. If you have to resort to involving the police don't be afraid to do it!!! It is their job and they will help you.

Good luck to everyone and thank you for reading!

Thank you so much for listening