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How do I get out when you love someone so much?

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summersquash

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
How do I get out when you love someone so much?
Posted: 02-24-08 15:11pm

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Things have been pretty much crap for the past 6 months. He's been stressed and I have been stressed too. However, it seems like lately I am his subservient do whatever he wants girlfriend. I am scared to ever say anything because it might piss him off and I catch him lying about ridiculous things constantly. I just feel like he really doesn't want to be with me anymore....... He says he loves me but he really doesn't show it. For example ya he's helped me financially after my apartment burned down but emotionally NO! I know you can't rely on someone to fix all your problems but it's like it bothers him to even listen to whats going on in my life.
The other day I suggested we go skiing on my day off because for the past 2 weeks I have been working 6 days a week and he finally got someone to take his place at a cleaning franchise he owns so he could have some more free time and time to work on his internet endeavors and he said we couldn't because of gas money and the price of lift tickets. Well my day off comes and his friend calls and says he bro lets get high which means hey come buy the weed for us and spend 15 bucks on gas to get all the way over here too. Well sorry but when I heard him say yeah bro I was PISSED! I mean what the hell hes going to spend 40 bucks on pot and gas for his friend but when his gf finally gets a day off to join him in skiing he tells her to kiss off? I feel like I the last resort if no one else is around? I mean I even offered to pay for my own lift ticket but that wasn't even good enough. I am starting to think that he is literally trying to push me away because he is too much of a coward to tell me himself that he doesn't want to be with me anymore......... Can anyone help me on this? Any opinion or advice would help.

Thanks

Needing some peace in my life.
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YettieGal

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 48
Location: Hell, MI
Re: How do I get out when you love someone so much?
Posted: 02-25-08 10:54am

summersquash wrote:
I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Things have been pretty much caca for the past 6 months. He's been stressed and I have been stressed too. However, it seems like lately I am his subservient do whatever he wants girlfriend. I am scared to ever say anything because it might piss him off and I catch him lying about ridiculous things constantly. I just feel like he really doesn't want to be with me anymore....... He says he loves me but he really doesn't show it. For example ya he's helped me financially after my apartment burned down but emotionally NO! I know you can't rely on someone to fix all your problems but it's like it bothers him to even listen to whats going on in my life.
The other day I suggested we go skiing on my day off because for the past 2 weeks I have been working 6 days a week and he finally got someone to take his place at a cleaning franchise he owns so he could have some more free time and time to work on his internet endeavors and he said we couldn't because of gas money and the price of lift tickets. Well my day off comes and his friend calls and says he bro lets get high which means hey come buy the weed for us and spend 15 bucks on gas to get all the way over here too. Well sorry but when I heard him say yeah bro I was PISSED! I mean what the hell hes going to spend 40 bucks on pot and gas for his friend but when his gf finally gets a day off to join him in skiing he tells her to f*ck off? I feel like I the last resort if no one else is around? I mean I even offered to pay for my own lift ticket but that wasn't even good enough. I am starting to think that he is literally trying to push me away because he is too much of a coward to tell me himself that he doesn't want to be with me anymore......... Can anyone help me on this? Any opinion or advice would help.

Thanks

Needing some peace in my life.


Ok- just because he is stressed- doesn't mean he has to take it out on you either! What I would do.. is pay him back what you owe him fiancially- and move on. He choose pot over his girlfriend? That would indeed tick me off. Does he ever do anything with you?

If the guy starts to get distant, or shady- then it's time to move on. If it was meant to be, he will fight to keep you. Let him come to you. Trust your gut instinct as well... it's usually right. if you feel he's not interested anymore..most likely he's not. In relationships- at least serious ones- you're on the same team. You give & take. It's not 95% give to him and 5% him giving back.

One thing I have learned over the years... you have to take care of yourself 1st before you can tend to another human being. You should be your first priority-- really sit back and list the pro's & con's of being with him. If one list is longer than the other... then there's your answer.

Hope this helps- Yettie
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Willa Weintraub

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3399
Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
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Re: How do I get out when you love someone so much?
Posted: 02-27-08 07:35am

Ok- just because he is stressed- doesn't mean he has to take it out on you either! What I would do.. is pay him back what you owe him fiancially- and move on. He choose pot over his girlfriend? That would indeed tick me off. Does he ever do anything with you?

If the guy starts to get distant, or shady- then it's time to move on. If it was meant to be, he will fight to keep you. Let him come to you. Trust your gut instinct as well... it's usually right. if you feel he's not interested anymore..most likely he's not. In relationships- at least serious ones- you're on the same team. You give & take. It's not 95% give to him and 5% him giving back.

One thing I have learned over the years... you have to take care of yourself 1st before you can tend to another human being. You should be your first priority-- really sit back and list the pro's & con's of being with him. If one list is longer than the other... then there's your answer.

Hope this helps- Yettie[/quote]

I have to agree whole heartedly with everything Yettie has said here. If someone loves you, they don't treat you like this. I'm sure you don't go home and slam him with your stress, so why is it ok for him to do to you, which in turn, stresses you out more? If you love someone and they love you the same, they don't treat you like this. It sounds to me like he is done with the relationship or he is taking it for granted. I would sit him down and talk with him and quite honestly if he refuses, in my eyes that shows he doesn't care and you should move on. I hope things work out for you! Smile
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z8NeonGenesis

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 58

Posted: 03-05-08 06:06am

From a male point of view,

Your boyfriend sounds like an absolute pig and i would just tell him to get lost and move on, there are much better guys out there who deserve you and everything about you more then he does, I mean i can understand a guy saying that he has no money to do something but to lie about it and then do something totally contary to the fact absolutley disgusts me, Maybe talking about this openly may help as communication is great for a relationship but im not sure if it will work in this case.

Hope this has helped.
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