5-year-old stepdaughter having frequent accidents Posted: 02-25-08 23:07pm
Potty training problems for the potty
trained.
My concern is with my 5 year old step
daughter. She is a bright little girl,
yet, seems to have frequent potty
accidents. She has been potty trained for
several years now yet, becomes distracted
so easily, ignores the fact that she has
to use the restroom, and ends up having an
accident.
What is a good gesture to use to help in
breaking this habit? When she has an
accident should I make her walk around in
a dipper? She knows that she has done
wrong. She knows whats right and what is
wrong when it comes to using the potty and
thats what makes me even more upset.
What is a good gesture in helping her
break this habit? Accidents do happen, but
it happens too much!
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 02-27-08 20:26pm
Maybe remind her more to use the bathroom
and praise her when she doesn't have
accidents.
I wouldn't make her wear a diaper, because
that would be humiliating and hopefully
that isn't what your trying to do.
Take her to the store and let her pick out
some panties that she really likes and
tell her she can have them when she
doesn't have accidents.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 02-28-08 01:24am
My mother hit me on the bottom with a
hairbrush because I wet the bed. Years
later we found out I had a physiological
problem and needed surgery to correct.
How badly do you think my mother felt
about hurting me over something I couldn't
help?
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jessesgirl
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Posted: 02-28-08 17:20pm
I'd take her to the doctor first to be
sure it's nothing medical.
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Ingi
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8768 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 02-28-08 17:46pm
Don't punish her for an accident whatever
you do! That causes shame and humiliation.
This could be her in need of attention. As
the adult, you should take her to the
doctor and rule out medical issues
(urinary tract infection) and keep up on
reminding her to use the bathroom. Perhaps
asking her every once in awhile if she has
to go potty.
Kids don't wet their pants on purpose. It
is accidental. Humiliating them and
degrading them by making a big deal about
it causes more harm.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Posted: 02-29-08 00:05am
If you're certain it's because she's just
too wrapped up in what she's doing to be
bothered to go to the bathroom until it's
too late, I'd make her get up and go sit
on the toilet for 5 minutes every half
hour. Since she's being inturrupted
anyway, she'll probably go when she needs
to.
Also, when she does have accidents don't
make a big deal of it but make her help
you clean it up. Just very matter of
factly have her get changed and showered
and then clean up the floor with a bucket
and scrub brush. She'll see it's more of a
hassle than just getting up to from
whatever she's doing BEFORE she has to go.
I'm sorry you're goin through this, how
frusterating!
May I ask, has anything big changed in her
life recently? Sometimes kids regress a
little when faced with major change.
Hey there. I have been crazy busy I
haven't had time to catch up to this
post.
Before posting this post, I made her wear
a diaper for about an hr around the house.
I felt like that was shameful on my part.
I felt like it was demeaning. So I took
her to the potty, and I had a little talk
with her. I explained that no matter what
she is doing, no matter where she is at,
if she has to go potty she makes sure is
what she does. That she is a big girl and
thats what big girls do. Ever since then,
we haven't had any problems with not using
the potty.
She is 1 of my 2 step daughters. I love
them dearly but to be honest, they need
allot of work. They are the ages of 4 and
5. They have been mislead their entire
life. So the term that I would best
describe the situation I am is "teaching
an old dog new tricks". Everything they
know is wrong. They have never had any
consistence in their life and I believe
that I am in their life to give that to
them. They may not be my "biological
children" but they are my daughters in my
eyes. I just want to raise them the best
way that I can. I'm new at all of this
though. So I thank you for your advices.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Posted: 03-03-08 13:36pm
Those poor girls, it sounds like they've
had a tough life.
The only means of them having a "mother
figure" in their life is by me. I am the
one that tucks them in at night. I am the
one that reads them a bed time story. I am
the one that make sure they are brushing
their teeth the proper way. I am the one
that makes sure they are getting the right
food inside their tummy. Its me. I am
their mother. Yeah, they may not call me
"mom" or "mama" but I am the closest thing
to a mother that they will ever have.
They do not have a relationship with their
mother. Their mother is a nut case. She
runs hot and cold with these little girls.
She will never give them stability, she
will never give them a proper life. She is
so wrapped up in her own life, she forgets
about her two little girls' life. They
have been through so much but they are
finally, getting the stability that they
truly deserve.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-04-08 03:31am
_StArSeXxXiE_
wrote:
The only means of them
having a "mother figure" in their life is
by me. I am the one that tucks them in at
night. I am the one that reads them a bed
time story. I am the one that make sure
they are brushing their teeth the proper
way. I am the one that makes sure they are
getting the right food inside their tummy.
Its me. I am their mother. Yeah, they may
not call me "mom" or "mama" but I am the
closest thing to a mother that they will
ever have.
They do not have a relationship with their
mother. Their mother is a nut case. She
runs hot and cold with these little girls.
She will never give them stability, she
will never give them a proper life. She is
so wrapped up in her own life, she forgets
about her two little girls' life. They
have been through so much but they are
finally, getting the stability that they
truly
deserve.
Why don't they call you mom? You and your
husband have full custody, right? Maybe
they will in time. How long have you had
them? Do they know it is ok to call you
mom?
How have they been misled in their
upbringing? Who misled them? Where was
their father when this was happening?
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Altari
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 127 Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posted: 03-04-08 11:51am
Was she correctly potty trained at any
point (with no accidents)?
This sounds like a psychological problem.
It sounds as if something possibly
traumatic happened to her and she is
reverting.
If this is NOT the case, I highly disagree
with a poster who said not the "shame"
your child. At 5 years old the child is
old enough, and a bit of humiliation (and
not in a severe way) can be a very useful
tool. Making her wear pull ups or taking
away "big girl" clothes (like pretty
dresses or costumes) may be the correct
amount of shame to snap her back to
attention. If you tell her that she can
only have these things (panties, pretty
dresses, special toys etc) if she behaves
like a big girl and uses the potty like a
big girl, she'll understand how her
actions are negatively affecting her.
She'll be shamed, to be sure, but for most
children it's the right amount to make a
connection between negative behavior and
negative consequences, without seriously
upsetting them.
However, as I said above, if this is
psychological in nature, and not just her
losing her focus, then any form of shame
is definitely not the way to go, as it
will only compound the problem and force
her deeper into her shell.
It may also be beneficial to find a local
play place that requires her to be potty
trained. We used this with our 3 year old
daughter, who just REFUSED to use the
potty. 3 weeks ago, we took her and her
older sister to IKEA, which has a little
kid's place. She couldn't go in because
she was still in pull ups. After a bit of
a tantrum when her sister could go in and
she couldn't, she pulled out a steely
determination most adults would be envious
of. We told her if she could go 1 week
wearing panties and using the potty with
zero accidents during the day, we'd take
her back.
Well, we got home, she took off her pull
up, tossed it, put on a pair of panties
and hasn't had an accident since.
