Age 20 With Bipolar Ocd & Schizophrenia Posted: 05-07-04 14:38pm
Well I have been in the mental health
thing since I was 6 years old with private
counseling I switched to county services
cause of costs when I was 12. I have had
over 70 diffrent types of medications
since I was 12 im now 20 will be 21 in
june and I must admit life has been
getting harder and harder to cope with as
I been getting older. Ive thought of
suicide plennty of times and all because
its so hard to live like this. Untill 2
years ago just about every medication I
took worked (there were alot that didnt
work though) the ones that did work worked
for a peroid of time differed by each pill
and then just quit working. This has been
a long goin problem me and my doc have
been working through but about 2 years ago
I hit the right combonation ive never been
this well for this long ever! The
combonation of meds I have now are helping
but dont help completely never have and
probley never will. The pills im taking
are 30mgs of zyprexea, 2mgs of
respiriadal, 200mgs seraquil, 20mgs of
paxil, and 400 sumthing mgs of anafranil(i
forget). This combo works great and has
been goin strong for me for sum time now.
Living with these problems suck and make
everything there has to do with life
harder to handle then most peeps. I have
3 computer certifications and am really
good on computers but I cant hold down a
job and thats a real bummer I have been
getting ssi since I was 18 the county
mental health did a favor for me and
signed me up for it me not knowing till it
came effect. I dont plan on living on
disability my whole life screw that I want
to make sumthing of myself but with the
problems I have its so hard and damn near
impossible to just do a fraction of the
things I want to acomblish in life. What
makes me feel real bad is im only 20 years
old and its so hard to live everyday like
this even with my meds and I have my whole
life ahead of me and thats what makes me
so pissed, 20 years old meens alot of
years of life left and thats gonna be hard
to keep up. I just had alot of this stuff
on my chest and I dont share infos like
this with many so I felt like posting this
crap that doesnt even have a point of make
to much sence but what the hell!
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 05-08-04 17:52pm
It sounds like life has dealt you a pretty
raw hand, but it also sounds as if you
have a great dr & good health centre
people supporting & helping you. You
didn't mention any family or friends so I
don't know what the situation is there
& family & friends be they a help
ornot do affect any comment/suggest.
You are obviously very smart & capable
(even if you concentrate that intelligence
etc on computer stuff you must still be
smart in other ways!!) so as you want more
from life why not consider some sort of
computer related work/business?? I'm not
exactly computer literate so can't suggest
much but you are extremely computer
literate so you can go foir it - think
outside the square & find something
you enjoy, are good at & that will
allow you to earn some money - & if it
also helps you meet people all the better
in terms of a well rounded life.
Good luck.
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PCWhizWithMentalIllness
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2004 Posts: 2
Posted: 05-09-04 13:11pm
What sucks even more now is friday we just
past the 7th of this month I was
diagnosised with degeneritive disk deises
sorry I cant spell that but im only 20 I
guess im really young to have this and my
l3 and l4 disk are protruding out
according to the mri I had im all messed
up for as young as I am I got ultram,
bextra, and norcos now for my back witch
helps most the time cept wakin up its the
worst and my mental health doc changed my
meds also to remeron, thorazine, zyprexa,
and rispiradal. My family they are very
supporttive twards me I live with my 74
year old grandma have been for my whole
life my mom was a partyer and what not so
couldnt take care of me like she should
have so my grandma offered to raise me and
all and since I was 1 or so years old I
have lived with her I still see my mom
once a week or more basicly anytime I want
my dad ditched my mom when I was born and
never met him he decided with blow his
head off in may of 2000 like a stupid ass
so I will never have a chance to meet him
an that never really has bothered me at
all but his mom my biological grandma from
dads side has schizophrenia and is really
out there according to family and what not
but never met her so I dunno dad killed
himself so that shows problems with him
atleast and him and my mom both used drugs
bvefore I she got pregnats never used
while conseveing me and has lots of things
and people to back it up but dad dont
know? I have been a drug addict since I
was 12 startinjg with weed and wen to
crank at age 13 and did it everyday till
15 or so ever so often use it still
atleast 4 times a mont coke I used since I
was 15 ever once in a while alot more now
often lsd and shrroms lsd at age 12 first
time and off and on use since then
oxycontin addiction since march 99 and
been goin to methadone clinic to get off
it suxs with the oprblems I have and I
never got anything that completly made me
feeling normal weed is what keeps me
eating and sleeping and my mind at a ok
pace and helps me think so I got medical
marjuana when I was 18 about 2 months
after bday and been using since my docs
and all say weed is bad and cause
oproblems I only admited to them when I
was 18 I used it and they blamed the
problems on it along with other things and
they thought I onlky been using for about
2 years or so I never tolod them they just
figured I guess but I told them I been
usin it since 12 and all that time I was
good for long peroids and all just to let
them no the weed isnt what causes all
problems I have now days but im sure the
drugs I used and use now datys still mess
with me but drugs keep me in that place
where notthin is gonna bring me down or
get me to flip off the hook and beat up[
people unintenally like usualy (sad to say
but from 10 till 14 I abused my
grandmother and I feel so shitty and
guilty for that but I got mad and couldnt
control my anger and hit her and got
phisical and what not knowing when im calm
I would never think of doing sumthin like
that I love her with all of whats left of
my heart and anger took me over and it is
almost like a blackout but still being
able to hear and see everything thats goin
on but not controling what I do I just did
things I normaly woulodnt want to do
without thinking about it I found myself
gettin beatin up alot when younger and cop
trouble becuase of my anger problems) they
keep me happy and calm and let me to take
advantage of life do things I woulod
normaly never want to do sober and what
not I just love the feelin I get from weed
not the high but what it does to me. I
started smokin it with friends for the
high and all now I can smoke sum and not
even get high but feel the effectgs enough
to make a diffrence. Over all im looking
into dual diagnosis treatment centers near
where I live (sacramento valley - 45 mins
north of sacramento)
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 05-09-04 14:31pm
Kiddo,
i say this with concern for you, from
reading the above post, I suspect you were
high on something(s) when you wrote it
& that plus the additional information
says to me that you have some tough
decisions to make.
You said in your first post that you
wnated to lead a more normal life &
make something of yourself???? Well, as
things are you have no hope of doing that.
To change your life you have to make some
changes to your behaviour, like get help
& kick the drugs (illegal) &
reduce the meds (legal) also get some help
with your emotional baggage (counselling)
- all that anger, hurt, frustration etc
that you're carrying around about your
parents (how they deserted you, the drugs
they used that affected you & the
mental health problems they've passed onto
you etc).
If you do not get off the drugs(illegal)
& reduce the meds(legal) & get
counselling you will only get worse, the
choice is yours, no-one else's. While
your parents have alot to answer for, you
are now an adult & have to take
responsibility for yourself.
As to reducing the prescibed meds - check
out natural alternatives (try a search
engine like google or yahoo to start)
including naturopathy, homeopathy, herbal,
vitamins etc etc. You sure won't be worse
off for giving it a try & you might be
better off.
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Ltiger
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2008 Posts: 2
Please watch this movie....:) Posted: 08-06-08 17:59pm
