Somebody Please Write Back Posted: 05-21-04 08:21am
Im 17 and I just found out I was pregnant
last week. Im so scared. I went out
with the guy all last year and we fell in
love. We had a very dramatic
relationship because our families thought
we were getting to serious. So we broke
up 9 months ago, but we never really acted
like it. We talked every day and would
kiss too. I finally started getting sick
of our relationship so we were gonna kiss
one last time and then move on. It went
way to far we ended up having sex. It
was the first time for both of us. After
we were so mad at eachother and ourselves
for doing that. I told my mom and she
freaked out. I think his parents will
kill him I really do. They wouldnt let
us talk to eachother one time cause he was
at my house instead of basketball
practice. I have no idea what to do.
He barely even talks to me! He said when
hes around me he has a bad feeling. And
he wont talk about it. He really is a
good guy so why is he acting like this?
I cant talk to my friends they would hate
me. Someone please write back!
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Write Back! Posted: 05-21-04 08:58am
I just need to talk to someone who has
been through this so if you have time
please write back
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lee25
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 1018 Location: new york
Posted: 05-21-04 09:33am
I usually don't talk to the neww poeple
much. Trust issues. Bit I feel a
little bad that no one else has responded
yet. For one if your friends are going
to hate you, then you don't need them.
You need friends that are going to support
you. As for the guy, maybe he's just
still in shock and needs time to let it
sink in. You said your mother freaked
out. Are you planning on keeping the
baby.
Brenda
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 05-21-04 09:56am
Where r u from? And what kind of friends
do u have that at 17 they wont talk to u
for bein pregnant? I cant imagine. .
. What bad friends no offense! How far
along are you? Have u been to the
doctor? Will u keep the baby? Guys get
scared, so if hes not being a jerk, then
its probably out of fear. U might be
young, but at 17 u can definitly have and
raise a baby, with help which you
hopefully have. You two might be scared
about what your parents will do, but trust
me, im sure we've all been there. U
migth be surprised, they might react
better then you think. If not, o well,
you know they wont disown their own
grandchild if u are keeping him/her.
What grade are you in? You have alot to
think about, but you do need to tell them
asap. The sooner the better, so they
have more time to adjust. Goodluck!
How olds the dad by the way? By the way,
I am kari , 18 and am 31 weeks pregnant.
I was scared to death to tell my parents..
They were very strict too. .But hey,
somehow I managed and now my mom is
actually excited!
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Thanks For Writing Back Posted: 05-21-04 13:11pm
Thanks for writing back. I dont really
know what you meant by trust issues but
you can definetly trust me. Im just
looking for anyone that is willing to talk
to me about this. I live in utah and
everyone here is really mormon and so is
my babies father. Having sex before you
are married is one of the worst things you
could do here. I know tonz of girls that
wouldnt kiss a guy untill they were 16.
So being here just makes me feel horrible.
The guy is 17 too and we are both
finishing our junior year. I have no
idea if I want to keep the baby or not.
Sometimes I think it would have such a
better life with someone else but I cant
imagine giving birth to a baby and giving
it up for adoption. It would be the
hardest thing. But being a single mom
would be pretty hard too. How did you
guys know that you wanted to keep your
babies and when did you know?
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 05-21-04 19:58pm
Well I thought about adoption a little at
first.. But then I just kept thinking ''i
made this baby..I already love him and hes
not here.. How can I just hand him over
to a stranger?''.. I just knew and still
know that I cant do that. Now, if I knew
I couldnt take good care of him, then I
would give him up for adoption because I
do love him already and will do what I
have to do. Its just apersonal choice
you wil have to make. Remember, there are
programs now where u can meet the family
and everything before hand so he/she will
never go into foster care.You wouldnt
consider abortion would you? I hope not
but once again.. Ur choice. I think u
could raise the baby if u really wanted
to. And your parents would love their
grandbaby. You just really need to get it
out in the open so you can discuss the
options with them all. (your parents and
the father) when will you see a doctor?
Do you know how far u are? U need to go
to the doc asap.. Dont wait~ goodluck@
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 05-21-04 22:57pm
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-26-04 10:49am; edited 1 time in total
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Posted: 05-22-04 11:42am
I think im a little over a month along.
I know I need to see a doctor, but why is
it important that you go really soon?
What do they do? Before I got pregnant I
didnt understand how someone could get an
abortion. But I think I know why some
people do it now. But im not going to
consider it. Luckily my mom is helping
me through this. The other day she said
I cant believe im going to say this but
have you thought about abortion? She
lets me know that whatever I do she will
support me. Im just getting really sad
knowing I only have two weeks of
highschool left. I was suppost to be a
cheerleader, and I got accepted to
cosmotolegy school. Sometimes I really
think it would be better if I died. I
ruined my life and his life. Does it get
better?
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
I'm Morman Too, But..... Posted: 05-22-04 12:30pm
First of all, I don't mean to offend you
or any (caps) morman, but screw
mormans!!!! You won't find me admitting
often that I am a morman becasue they are
hipacrits and I don't believe in their
ways. They can be horrible people!
Note, I said can be (caps) not are (caps).
I know you are in a tough spot since so
many around you are the way they are, but
you need to be strong, and just so you
know, you did not!! And I will repeat not
(caps) ruin your life with this baby!!! A
baby is a gift (caps) not a curse!! God
has given you a precious life to bring
into this world, and you shouldn't look at
it any different! You are scared now, but
wait a few months when you can feel that
baby moving or you hear the heart beating,
and be stong aginst those who "hate" you!
And if your friends will hate you for
this, then sweety, they are not your
friends at all!! A true friend will stand
by your side and help you t hrough things.
Stacey
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Posted: 05-22-04 12:59pm
I really hope that I do feel different
about this baby cause its an amazing thing
that I should be excited for. And with
the whole mormon thing I know what you
mean some are very nice people and others
are so judgemental. And daniel (my
babies father) his parents are definetly
judgemental. A year ago they read his
journal and freaked out. We werent
having sex but we were getting close.
After that we couldnt even go on dates
with eachother. I think he is going to
tell his parents this weekend. Im so
scared. I really think they will
physically hurt him. He has been acting
really wierd lately and not talking to me
much. But today he told me he cant
handle being around me right now cause
every time he sees me he has to face what
is really going on. I hope he gets over
that soon cause I need him. For all of
you girls who dont have the fathers in
your life, how do you do it? It seems so
hard
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 05-22-04 22:11pm
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-26-04 10:50am; edited 1 time in total
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
Suprot Group Posted: 05-23-04 11:47am
Elyse, if you need anything, come here,
these girls are just wonderful, they will
quickly become your best friends. I am
still getting myself into the crowd, but I
am quiet and shy, so not many on here know
me at all, but believe me from what I have
seen, these girls are awsome, and I love
it here very much!! Keep in touch, and
come to them for suport when you need it,
they will help you.
Stacey
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Posted: 05-24-04 11:02am
Thanks so much for writing back it really
helps so much to talk to people that are
going through the same thing.
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 05-24-04 11:11am
Hey hun, its important to go to the doc
asap during early pregnancy..Because they
can catch any potential problems, and just
make sure everything is developing well
for your baby. U need to go soon...
Havent u set anything up yet? Anyhow.
It will get better. The little things
like being a cheerleader and
cosmetology,... Trust me, a baby will be
soooo much more then thhings like that.
Plus, u can still do something with
cosmetology. A baby doesnt mean your
life is over. Some things may have to be
postponed is all. But ur life is not
over, actually its just getting better and
you have ur life, plus another life just
beginning! It will be hard being so
young, but it can only make you stronger
if u want it to, you will be so much more
mature then others ur age and u will
really know what lifes all about. And
you will have a beautiful son or daughter.
Just try to think about the positives.
Also, if ur religious at all, just
remember god wouldnt have put your baby
inside of u if he didnt want it there and
wont hand you sometihng you cant handle*
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elyse
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 73 Location: utah
Posted: 05-24-04 11:34am
I really hope you are right about those
things. I guess its just hard for me to
imagine right now, im still so scared. I
want to work things out with daniel but he
makes me feel like its all my fault that
this is happening. I wish he would give
me a chance and we could try to make
things work between us. Im going to be
so sad if it doesnt work out. I dont
know if I would want to marry him though.
I love him but if I didnt think he loved
me I couldnt do it. But if I dont marry
him someday I dont know what I would do.
I just found out a week ago that I was
pregnant so I havent set a doc.
Appointment yet. And I kinda want daniel
to go with me and he hasnt told his
parents yet. Is it okay if he goes with
me?
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 05-24-04 19:56pm
Yep he could go. Goodluck and let us
know!
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nathans-mommy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2004 Posts: 41 Location: surrey
Posted: 05-29-04 15:49pm
I went thru pretty much the same thing
with my babys daddy he disappeared thru my
whole pregnancy he blamed me because I
didnt get an abortion so he wouldnt talk
to me or see me its hard I know because my
babys daddy was my best friend before I
got pregnant but as I got to the end of my
pregnancy he started to come around and I
guess he realized that it was actually
happening and I had a scare where I went
into pre-term labor and he was at the
hospital pretty much the whole time to
make sure I was ok they stopped my labor
and after that he wouldnt leave me alone
he was around every day and when I went
into labor he didnt leave my side and now
he comes to see his son every day so he
will probably come around once he comes to
a realization so dont put stress on urself
or ur baby its not good for either of u
neways write me if u need to talk my email
is a
ngelgirl_2285@hotmail.Com dont
hesitate to email me actually I would
really like it if u did update me on ur
situation
good luck jen
