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Worried Husband In Need of Advice

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worriedhusband

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1
Location: Shreveport, LA
Worried Husband In Need of Advice
Posted: 05-31-04 19:55pm

My wife is depressed constantly. I feel it is all my fault. Its almost as if I cant do anything right at all. Weve been married about 3 months now and things have gotten worse. All she wants to do is lay on the couch all the time and not go out. She doesnt like going out with friends and now that shes pregnant I think things have gotten even worse. We started arguing alot more and things have left us both upset quite often over little things. Ive tried asking what she wants to do and we could go do it but her answer is always I dont know or I dont care. When I ask if we can go do this or do you want this its always I dont care. Even when it comes to me asking if I can lay next to her or just tonight I asked if she wanted me to change my work schedule to be on the same shift as her. I feel like im loosing my wife. Im at all losses as to what I should do. She refuses to go seek any kind of help. She even says shes knows shes depressed but she doesnt want a fake happy from a pill or go let anyone get invlovled in our personal life, and telling us how to run it. She doesnt give me hugs anymore and she rarely even says I love you unless I say it to her. My only glimmer of life is that at night she always wants me there with her in bed.....To hold her or rub her stomach. Im afraid for our baby as well. Ive been told that depression can cause a miscarraige and ive even expressed that to her. She knows everything thats going on but just doesnt seem to be doing anything about it. Please help........I need all the help I can get right now.

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kd

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 9
Location: North Carolina
to Worried Husband
Posted: 05-31-04 20:22pm

Hi. I'm a new user, but I hope my advice might help a bit. When I was pregnant years ago, I got rather depressed, although not to the extent that i'm reading here.
I can appreciate your wife not wanting to take some happy pill especially when she's pregnant.
Have you thought of going along on your wife's next visit to the gynocologist and telling the doctor what you've written here? If it seems more urgent, how about calling your wife's doctor right away and telling her of your concerns?

I wouldn't wait for someone who's depressed to take the initiative and call, often it's hard to get motivated to do anything in that condition.
Hope this helps.
Also, if you can get your work schedule changed so that you are with her more often, it couldn't hurt.
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Haley

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2004
Posts: 122

Posted: 06-01-04 21:07pm

I like kd's advice about getting your ob/gyn involved. I just finished a 12-week group using cbt and it has eliminated most of my depression and panic disorder. The two books we used in my group are really good and I would recommend them both highly: been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz for anxiety and depression and mastery of your anxiety and panic-third edition by michelle craske and david barlow for panic disorder. The sooner you get your wife some help the better for her, you and your baby! Hopefully your ob will play an active role in getting her the help she needs.
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