Pregnancy As Invasion

The idea of maternal instinct is a bit strange -- to me that does not mean the desire to have children. Biologically, to have children, generally all you need is the desire to have sex! (or at least a man with the desire to have sex with you, since you generally weren't able to stop them!) nowadays, in most cases you can prevent children if you don't want them. However, as jesse said, there is social conditioning to see yourself as a mother. Another aspect of this social conditioning, which makes lots of young girls want babies, is the attention and fuss made over pregnant women and their babies by everyone else. I was never brought up to see that as my role in life, and as far as I can recall, never encountered a pregnant woman or baby, since I come from a very small family.

Maternal instinct is the impetus to take care of something small and helpless. It kicks in, biologically, after the baby turns up so that it gets looked after. So, even though I don't much like babies (not enough fur!), if I found one in a basket on the doorstep, I wouldn't be able to help to help taking it in, making sure it's clean and warm and fed, etc. But I do that with kittens and baby birds as well. (just the way sully was with boo...)

Also jesse not all the statements I made in my post were directed at you. I should have pointed that out.Sorry.

Yes I do know the difference between conditionining and true human instincts. I dont want children because its whats expected of a woman-i want children because I think its the most amazing thing in the world to make a baby and nurture it inside you then watch it grow up knowing you made it & loved it. Having a baby isn't the only thing I want from my life though-i do have other plans!!! I think someone would have to be quite pathetic to have a child simply because society thought they should-i dont know anyone who would do that
princess-i liked your post.You sound like a good mom :d
*liz*

That's the thing about conditioning, its all subconsious, you don't think: "gosh, society thinks I should have babies", but you do think "i'm a woman, women have babies, babies are lovely gurgly things, I will get fulfilment from having a baby, i'll have a baby." it's the same as men thinking they need to have high-paying jobs and get promotions and like football. And also how some men think that getting women pregnant proves how virile they are! Just think about the different roles men and women have, not much of that is natural, it's mostly social conditioning.

I love children, but I don't feel the need to have my own. I am able to raise a child with all the maternal instincts even if he/she is not from my womb. Part of what I think is wrong with our society is that we value what we create only. And take little interest in what others are doing. We're not a community. We're selfish individuals running around trying to show each other how great our kids are. Making them do all the stupid things we didn't. We loose interest in ourselves, the world around us, and the people who aren't eating at night.
I've made a personal choice to not have children. (unless it's unplanned) i'm more interested in adopting or fostering a child who comes from a broken home or just failed to be cute enough to integrate into a "normal" family.
I stand by it, and it's okay if you disagree with me princess. The world doen't need more fuel to the fire. I agree with janet. It's social conditioning at it's finest.

Actually, I loathe children. Babies, yuck. Kids in supermarkets may be feel downright murderous. Babies on airplanes? Open the door and chuck 'em out!

I am 41 years old. I get up when I please, go to bed when I like. I don't need to go to work just so some greedy little brat has the latest trainers, or save up to put some genius kid through college. And my darling sweetie had a vasectomy years before I even met him, so I never need to worry!

Getting an abortion doesnt make u unpregnant it makes u the mom of a dead baby!

No one on this post is considering an abortion.

But she is also wrong. Abortion does make you unpregnant.

Yes it does, but everything I say is wrong, so I just decided not to say anything. I don't want anymore pm's from 12 year olds telling me I am wrong.

Not that I care what you think, sweetness, but why are you so touchy? I'm thrilled that other people can be bothered to reproduce, as there's gotta be someone to work in the pub and the old folks' home when I get there.

And fyi my user name came about because I have recently been having symptoms of a disabling, hereditary disease -- and that was my reaction: poo, poo, poo. Which is the username I created when I discovered this site.

And as I explained about maternal instincts, I have plenty. I have been raising injured birds this spring, I take in lost kittens, etc. I simply don't have the pathetic need to reproduce my genes and live vicariously through a mini-me.

Poopoopoooooooo,

thank god there's no mini you in fact why on earth are you on this forum at all, you don't want, have never had & know nothing except what your bigotted narrow minded selfishness tells you about children or families & I suer hope that there's no-one to care for you in your older age (& I can say that cause i'm several years older than you!! & a hell of alot wiser & nicer.)

Well as far as I am concerned it takes someone special to be a parent it takes alot of patients and alot of love so that explains why you poopoo will never have your own. And thats probably a good thing. You sure your 41 and didnt mean to put 14 cause at your age to post something like that is just sickening weather you ever want kids or not. Anyone can nuture a bird back to health but it takes someone special to be a parent and special you are not...

I honestly cannot believe that people get angry about the fact that not all women want children.
What is the big freakin deal? Not everyone wants children. And that does not make her (or i) immature or irresponsible. It makes us mature and responsible enough to know what we do and do not want!
There is nothing wrong with that!

That's exactly it -- I was mature and responsible enough not to have children. It is strange -- I can understand why some people want them, and for my friends who have them, some of whom tried very very very hard to get pregnant, I am very happy for them -- that those who do like children cannot understand that not everyone does. I', a bit surprised by purple's post, what am I doing on this forum at all? (with reactions like that it does make you wonder why, "all too many people, especially women seem to think that they can't admit to any feelings that are not considered maternally right by society" -- now, who said that?) so only the women who like and want children have any right to talk about abortion? I don't think so.


I agree that it takes someone special to be a parent -- and not all of those who get pregnant, or impregnate are "special". They are merely fertile. Being a parent and having a kid are two different things. Why condemn someone who holds up their hand and says, "not me, thanks -- that is not what I want." and to my mind, screaming children in public, on airplanes, or vandalizing the bus shelter say that many people aren't actually very good parents. If people would think a bit more what being a parent really means, then maybe fewer people would be getting pregnant.

I am not sure if your posts poopoo and hotasfrick were pointing at me and comments I made in mine but let me say this..I dont have a problem with you people that dont want children not every person is cut out to be a parent. That doesnt make them a bad person. People can still love kids and still not want to be parents I have nephews and aunts and uncles that didnt or dont want any children but are still very good to mine. What I had a problem with here is your post poopoo it just blew me away that someone of your age would sit here and talk about throwing a child out a airplane. So you dont want kids you find them repulsive or whatever thats your choice its your life and none of us have the right to sit here and tell you you are wrong. But I do have the right to sit here and tell you I think what you said was insane not to mention very immature..It reminded me of reading a gordon post when he would say stupid idiotic things about his wife and woman in general.

I guess I need to remember that some people are rather literal-minded! Hyperbole may be a rhetorical device that doesn't work in cyberspace.

It just seems to me a lot of the time that there is an attitude of "children are perfect, everything about them is wonderful." it is certainly a problem with parents, not necessarily the children. (but if you have ever sat for three hours on a plane with a two year old kicking the back of your seat, and the parents just smiling and saying, "kids, eh?"...Well, I wonder how you would react? !)

and I am fine with the idea that abortion had been widely available in 1929, I wouldn't be here. My mother was an accident, and my father was an accident: both their mothers got pregnant as unmarried teenagers.

"immature"? What does that mean? But I will agree completely that I am not patient, and not selfless. And that's the point -- I know people get a lot of joy from their children, but there is nothing about the lifestyle I envy. If you want to do it, great for you.

Please do get it straight though: "maternal instinct" is not the desire for children -- it is the impulse to look after them once they turn up. Wanting to have sex is the biological basis for getting babies. Wanting a baby and wishing really hard for one doesn't work -- i.E. A lot of primitive societies never made the connection between sex and babies, and yet they still managed to have them! What you keep talking about as "maternal instinct" being the desire to be a mother, and saying that women somehow should have that desire, is purely cultural.

Hotasfrick & poopoopoo,

please read accurately & with reference to which one of you I mean.

I agree that it takes maturity & strength to acknowledge when you don't want to do what society expects. But there are ways of saying & ways of doing this & the way poopoopoo has posted & some of her statements etc have not shown understanding or acceptance of the rights of others, nor have they indicated a "decent respect for kids" (i personally would often love to throw my 9 year old son out of a window - or any handy hole!!) but that's a feeling of frustration with him & his "wild thing" ways not an indication of what I really feel, do & say. Posts I have read by poopoopoo have shown nothing but contempt for parenthood & children & that is largely why I question her right to be on this forum.

Hotasfrick on the other hand while not wanting kids (fine) doesn't show contempt for them or their parents, obviously knows alot of kids & loves many etc & so has an understanding through them & their parents (her friends/family) that gives her insight (insight which I suggest poopoopoo lacks) & so gives her the right to post here for both reasons.