Eating Disorders Forum - Some One Who Never Listened

Hey there!
I used to write on this forum but I stopped a couple of months ago because I had tricked everyone I knew into believing that I no longer had an eating disorder. Well look who comes crawling back. Me.
I not only still have an eating disorder but I now have osterposis( I can't spell it properly). I am only 17 and I have the bones of a 60 year old, I can no longer play sports I can't drink I can't smoke I can't do alot of things anymore because if I hurt my hips the doctor said I would be dead in 12 months. Now, that isn't a life that I should be having right? But I didn't listen to anyone when they tried to help me and I am sorry for not listening but I think I would have never understood and now I do.
I am writing today because I want to tell people that although you think your ed is ok and under control, like I did and still do it isn't because without you knowing, its hurting you inside as well as out.

I had a ticket to britany spears but I couldn't go and that was something I was really looking forward to.So just think about what you are doing and you know what even if you don't care which I know some of you won't( I didn't) just think of me and that how I could have changed so much of what my life was going to turn out like and now can't. But you can. Just think of that and remember when you are told you have something which you have gotten as a result of this eating disorder( which will happen) rememeber that I told you it was going to happen and only if you had of listened and rememeber how you felt when you were told and that you wondered how will I make others understand and help them not do what I have done and then remember, you can't.

No one will listen to you because they need to suffer to understand themselves and by then it is too late and thats how eating disorders will go on for ever because we don't care untill it is too late to care. For those who do listen and who do take control and learn from other people's experience, I just want to say that you are the srtong ones and you are the people that we can look up to. You help us to get on and live with what we have done because just maybe we have not suffered for nothing if we can help you to not suffer at all. So thank you to those who listen and who have decided that there life is more important than there death.

I am sorry if I sound mean or uncaring but its just that I know that no one will listen and now I know how others who tried to help me feel. I now have something which could kill me as well as my eating disorder and yet it doesn't seem to matter. What I am going through now doesn't mean anything to me if I can't help others learn from it and not make the same mistakes. So I am really not trying to sound whatever way I sound its just I want you all to live because if I do die from this which could happen very easly at least I would know that others wont.

Well thats me finished annoying you all for now.
Don't cry because its over smile because it happened.