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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Re: Miscarry...or Abort?
Posted: 06-08-04 22:18pm
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Hey! I'm jessica. I'm 18 years old, and
i've just entered my 2nd trimester,
apparently. I've been doing research here
and there.
Anyway, i've been bleeding...And I went to
the doctor yesterday for the first time
since I got pregnant [[ april 24th ]].
She told me that the baby was not going to
live. My health is hell, and that the
baby was endangered... And that it
wouldn't make it to the 3rd trimester.
She gave the baby a week, a few weeks...A
month tops. But she told me I could
either wait it out and miscarry or have an
abortion.
Due to my religious beliefs, i'm not
really considering having an abortion. I
don't have a boyfriend [[ he and I got
drunk the night we met at a party and woke
up in bed together. ]] he and I still
talk and are on good terms... But I
really just can't imagine going to the
clinic and terminating this pregnancy. I
know I probably sound like a hypocrite. I
got drunk and pregnant, but yet i'm too
convicted about abortion. Sorry.
Can someone help me out here? Has anyone
ever experienced this? Is this rare?
Thank you.
- jess.
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Darling
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 876
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Posted: 06-08-04 23:18pm
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Im a little confused. Did you have an
ultrasound? Why wouldn't you be in the
hospital if your bleeding? Did they tell
you whats wrong with your child? Why
didnt you get pre-natal care before this?
I don't think a doctor would send you away
like that, in fact if your bleeding they
would keep you under strict
observation...Im quite confused in fact!
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KariM1804
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 852
Location: grand blanc michigan
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Posted: 06-09-04 07:46am
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Ok ignore mary we dont know who this chic
is so dont take her advice. Shes going
around making stupid posts like that.
Anyhow.. Im with darling on that one.
Can u answer all those questions???? I
cant see a doc sending u away like that
when ur bleeding and just telling you the
baby isnt going to live.. Whats wrong the
baby and your health?
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 5295
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Posted: 06-09-04 09:52am
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Last edited by insurancegirl on 11-03-04 11:53am; edited 1 time in total
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smith8500
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6624
Location: Louisiana
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Hey
Posted: 06-09-04 10:19am
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My sis-in-law got pregnant with my niece
and she was told: abort or himmorage to
death and die. Tiffaney's utrus was 1/2
the size of a normal one and she was told
there was no way her baby would live so
abort it, or wait it out and they both
die. Tiffaney said no way! She wouldn't
ever kill her baby. End of this story: a
4-year-old running around, counting,
smiling, and being bad! Lol. She had
kaitlyn and both of them lived through it
with little complications other than that
kaitlyn was 2 months premature. I say
wait it out; get another opinion.
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: 06-09-04 10:32am
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My god it sounds like you have a crappy
doctor. I say go to a different doctor,
start takin some vitamins, and just wait
it out... Your baby may be able to
survive this. I would never be able to
abort a baby, I wouldnt be able to live
with myself. The doctor told me that my
baby had a calcium deposit in the heart
and there was a possibility that she could
have down syndrome, and he asked if I
wanted to get an amniocintesis (sp?) which
is a very risky procedure that could lead
to miscarrige and other complications, and
my mom said I could get it and if she did
have downsyndrome she asked if I wanted to
abort her, I said no way, I wasnt even
going to get the amniocintesis, and I
would just live with whatever god gave me,
he wont give me anything that I cant
handle, he will just give me something
that will make me a stronger person. Well
it turns out that the deposit in the heart
is gone now, and my baby is just fine, and
I could have risked her life just gettin
the amnio... Im so glad I didnt.
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chrystinmarie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2004
Posts: 128
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Posted: 06-09-04 10:45am
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| lilmama2b_oct04
wrote: | | my god it sounds like you
have a crappy doctor. I say go to a
different doctor, start takin some
vitamins, and just wait it out... Your
baby may be able to survive this. I
would never be able to abort a baby, I
wouldnt be able to live with myself. The
doctor told me that my baby had a calcium
deposit in the heart and there was a
possibility that she could have down
syndrome, and he asked if I wanted to get
an amniocintesis (sp?) which is a very
risky procedure that could lead to
miscarrige and other complications, and my
mom said I could get it and if she did
have downsyndrome she asked if I wanted to
abort her, I said no way, I wasnt even
going to get the amniocintesis, and I
would just live with whatever god gave me,
he wont give me anything that I cant
handle, he will just give me something
that will make me a stronger person.
Well it turns out that the deposit in the
heart is gone now, and my baby is just
fine, and I could have risked her life
just gettin the amnio... Im so glad I
didnt. |
you are a very amazing person and an
excellent mother! I admire you for the
decision you made and for keeping your
head high and looking at things
positively!
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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Posted: 06-09-04 15:52pm
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I'm not bleeding profusely, like a period
flow or whatever... Just spotting. And
the doctor does suck... But she's the
ob/gyn i've always gone to. I can't feel
any lump in my abdomen or anything... So
I don't know what's going on.
Is this rare or what? I just don't
understand, and I don't plan on telling my
parents if the baby is just going to die
anyway. And how am I supposed to have
pre-natal care if I didn't know I was
pregnant until like, two weeks ago?
The situation is awful. I have no idea
what i'm doing anymore.
And i'm afraid this is not a joke...So
please help me out and take me
seriously.
Thank you again.
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 5295
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Posted: 06-09-04 15:54pm
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Last edited by insurancegirl on 11-03-04 11:54am; edited 1 time in total
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:11pm
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I think you should tell your parents about
it, and you should see a diferent doctor
as soon as possible... Spotting is normal
in pregnancy, on the other hand, bleeding
(like a period or worse) isnt, but in some
cases that is normal too... How did your
doctor predict your baby will die? I know
this girl that is pregnant, and she has
been pregnant 3 times before, and she
miscarried all her other babies, but this
one survived, even though they said it
wouldnt. You really need to see a
different doctor that will do something
about it, they can keep you in the
hospital and put you on meds and stuff to
help the baby out til it is strong enough
to survive. I just dont get how your
doctor would just say, oh your baby is
going to die and just send you home.
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smith8500
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6624
Location: Louisiana
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Hey
Posted: 06-09-04 16:14pm
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You need to see another doctor. Plain and
simple. Tell your mother first of all and
then see another doc.
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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:17pm
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Thanks jennifer. It really means a lot.
I'm going to take care of myself as much
as I can...And the doctor rescheduled an
appointment for me in a few weeks for a
checkup and stuff.
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Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 2730
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:18pm
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How do you feel abotu all of this now??
Does the baby move?? Are you gaining
weight?? What type of insurance do you
have ( I have a reason for asking this)!!
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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:19pm
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Okay. So I go get a second opinion. I
guess insurance will cover it... Or i'll
call him and get him to take care of it.
And I think I will tell my mother.
Cross your fingers.
<3
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smith8500
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6624
Location: Louisiana
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Hey
Posted: 06-09-04 16:20pm
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No, if you are bleeding and stuff like
this you don't have an appt. In "a few
weeks" go see another doc and go now.
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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:24pm
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I have blue cross blue shield...Federal.
How do I feel? I feel numb and
overwhelmed. I'm not throwing up in the
mornings anymore, but I feel weak and
nauseated. I'm having the headaches, my
boobs are pudgier, and i'm
getting...Bloated, I guess... My face has
gotten a little pudgier and my tummy and
my thighs... But I don't have the little
canteloupe thing going on.
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:27pm
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Yea, dont wait! You should do it asap!
Tell your mom now. Dont be nervous, just
tell her, im sure she will be more mad if
you didnt tell her and then she finds out
her grandchild has died. You shouldnt
keep them kind of things from parents. I
thought my mom would flip, but she didnt,
shes happy about it! And shes expecting a
2nd within 3 years lol... Well I hope
everything goes good, and your baby makes
it.
P.S. My name is april, im 17 and 25 weeks
pregnant with a baby girl.
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KariM1804
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 852
Location: grand blanc michigan
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:27pm
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Im confused tho.. The doctor would tell
u why you are going to lose the baby and
whats wrong or going on.. Did they just
say your miscarrying or what? Also..Did
they have an u/s? This just doesnt make
sence to me that they would say ur baby is
going to die in a few weeks or a
month..... And u gotta tell ur parents
either way hun seriously!
Last edited by KariM1804 on 06-09-04 16:29pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 2730
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:28pm
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Have you felt the baby move?? So you dont
have state insurance... Well that that
blows what I thought out of the water.
How old are you? Are you sure that this
doctor wasnt just so far against teen
pregnancy that she said this. I think you
need a second opinion. And ya know you
can go to the er and just be like. "i
have been worried sick, I am so frustrated
and worried that I need to seee and doctor
now to make sure my baby is ok. A doc
told me that she wouldnt like and I just
need to plain and simple.I know stress is
not good for my baby so please see me now"
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xgravitygirlx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004
Posts: 8
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Posted: 06-09-04 16:36pm
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I just did this calculator thing online.
It says i'm at 8 weeks and 3 days...
But anyway, I don't know crap about
insurance. And I will go get a second
opinion. I'll call first thing in the
morning. And my mother isn't home right
now, so i'll tell her tonight.
The response is overwhelming. Thank you
all so much.
The doctor told me that my body is
rejecting the baby...Something like that.
I don't understand it. She was really set
on selling me a contraceptive ring [[ ...?
]] anyway, yeah.
And i'm 18 years old. I graduated high
school this year.
April, good luck with your beautiful girl.
Yes, they did an ultrasound and she said
the heartbeat was weak. She said there is
no way the baby will survive. My health
is bad, and the baby's health is bad...So
I could abort or wait for a
miscarriage....
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