Joined: 08 Jun 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Cincinnati, Oh
I Thought Things Yesterday That I Am Very Upset About! Posted: 06-11-04 21:42pm
*kinda long*
yesterday I had alot put on me toward the
end of the night. My grandmother's
boyfriend has given our house away!! Its
her house that she is letting us live in.
We pay her rent and the house is owned
there are not payments needed. My dad
just hands it to grandma, he pays all the
bills here and then fixes it up! He
paints, remodels, etc. The house went
off the market today and willie (her
boyfriend) went home and called becky and
dan and said well the house is off the
market you can have it now! Omg, what
the health question are we gonna do? I
have my baby coming next month we cant
afford to move right now! We cant afford
to pay 900.00 rent plus the bills. We
just cant. If I had a job maybe, but I
am high risk and on modified bed rest. I
cant do anything!
So last night I was talking to my aunt
steph on-line and I started saying I
screwed up I screwed up. It would all be
diffrent if I was not pregnant we could
afforrd to live.
I feel terrible for saying those things.
I love hayley more than life itself. She
is my miracle baby, saving me from myself.
Before I was becoming a major alcoholic.
When I got pregnant it all changed and
its something I am not going to be
returning too. I don't want that kind of
life for hayley and dont want her around
it. I even cut off ties with my only
friends. I mean I dont want them or need
them around. I dont wish hayley away, I
do wish I would have never said that! Am
I a bad person? On top of everything I
have been doing today I have been crying
my eyes out. I cried cause my dad would
not eat this grilled egg and cheese
sandwhich I made for him. He grabbed it
real quick and took like 3 bites. My mom
and dad were like heather are you okay
hunny? I dont want to tell them I said
that and I dont want to tell them I am
worrying about what we are gonna do. How
can I think about happy thoughts again?
Please help.
Lots of love,
heather and hayley
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 06-11-04 22:57pm
I don't think you are bad for saying those
things. You are upset and stressed out.
Just because you said you messed up does
not mean that you will not love that baby
more then anything in the world! It is
just harder now financially.
It will be o.K. Talk to your parents.
They sound like good people and I think if
you talk to them you will feel better.
Cheer up...Everything will work out
believe it or not.
|
Julymommy72504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Cincinnati, Oh
Posted: 06-11-04 23:23pm
Thanks a bunch for the reassurance I hope
you are right about talking to my parents
they are already so stressed right now, I
dont want them to stress more cause they
no I am stressing and we all know how my
blood pressure gets!!
Lots of love,
heather and hayley
|
insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 06-12-04 08:33am
Last edited by insurancegirl on 11-03-04 15:46pm; edited 1 time in total
|
KariM1804
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 852 Location: grand blanc michigan
Posted: 06-12-04 08:57am
Hun dont feel bad. We all say things like
that at some point probably. I remember
that I have to and I felt awful (ive said
more then once that it would be so much
easier not pregnant and how I regretted
sleeping with ryan) but its just part of
ourselves thats still wishing to be able
to be young ya know? We know we love our
babies so much and im sure our babies know
too*
|
Julymommy72504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Cincinnati, Oh
Posted: 06-12-04 23:29pm
I am still upset with myself that I could
even think that way, but I do feel much
better knowing that we all go through
this. I am very sorry that I could think
that about my little one knowing that she
did nothing. Your girls are right though
we are not perfect and our little ones
know that we love them!
Aabout the house, my grandmother says she
is not doing land contract with anyone but
my father, but then she said she thinks
she might put it back on the market. So I
give up. I am just sad about moving cause
I did the baby's room. I painted it
yellow and then did my own little design
around the middle section of the wall.
Its so pretty and I don't want to give it
to someone else. Is that selfish of me?
Lots of love,
heather and hayley
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 06-14-04 01:46am
I don't think that is selfish at all!
Whether or not you actually owned the
house does not mean anything. It was
still your home, and you want to stay!
Perfectly understandable!
|
Julymommy72504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Cincinnati, Oh
Posted: 06-14-04 22:38pm
Thanks girls!! I dont feel so selfish
now, lol. I mean your right, besides I
painted it and decorated it for .M.Y.
Baby, not anybody elses, lol.
Thanks again girls!!!
Lots of love,
heather and hayley
|
chrystinmarie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2004 Posts: 128
Posted: 06-15-04 01:09am
Don't feel bad, at night sometimes I will
be trying to sleep but I am in
excruciating pain because the baby is
laying funny and I will lay there and cry
my eyes out and tell myself that "this is
my fault". Then I feel 10 times worse
that I called my daughter a "fault" and I
will cry some more! Its just our hormones
and swelling bellies that are causing us
to be like this!
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