I'm still a virgin, and me and my
boyfriend have been dating for about a
year..
I am horrified of having sex!!
Im ready both mentally and physicaly, but
i'm so scared of getting pregnate!! We've
talked about what we would use, and of
corse we decided on the condom but I am
also trying to get birth control right now
just as a second barrier..
Am I worrying over nothing? Any tips or
stories or something abuot using condoms?
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laura_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 173 Location: Montreal, Quebec
It'll Be Ok! Posted: 06-18-04 02:38am
Hi sweetie,
you're right to be scared, and you're
right to want to take precautions.
Condoms are only 86% effective on their
own (real use not theoretical). I've
always been told that b/c should be in
threes. So use condoms, and a spermicide
(or sponge if you're canadian) and a birth
control pill/patch/shot and those sperms
would have to be miracle workers to make a
baby. It's alot to think about in the
heat of the moment..... But it will save
you from spending the 3 weeks or so
between periods praying that you're not
pregnant
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mylostdogg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Maryland
Posted: 06-18-04 02:42am
Im currently trying to get on the pill but
I don't want my mom to know im going to be
sexually active... Im 15 years old, would
my docter be legally able to tell my
parent that im sexually active if I asked
him not to?
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laura_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 173 Location: Montreal, Quebec
One More Thing.... Posted: 06-18-04 02:47am
I just wanted to adress the poll you have
accompagning this message. Do you feel
too young to be having sex? Or too old to
still be a virgin? There is no right age,
I was def on the older end of the scale
(almost 21) and am happy I waited that
long - sometimes wish I had waited even
longer!. Don't feel pressured just
because everyone else is (i know how this
feels - I was the last of my friends to
lose my virginity - one feels left out in
an odd sort of way) if you want to talk to
anymore more privately please feel free to
pm me.
~ .Laura
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Natalie112
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Posts: 65
Posted: 06-18-04 02:53am
You can go to a clinic such as planned
parenthood for all of your gynecological
needs. They by law are not able to
diclose any information to your parents.
They are very private and discrete. They
ask how they may get in contact with you
(by phone or mail) if they send you a
letter or even call you, they will say who
they are. Many girls go in all the time
without their parents knowing and clinics
would rather have young women being safe
than sorry. There are many planned
parenthoods throughout the us and probably
one in your area. You can go online to
plannedparenthood.Org and find a local
one. Best of luck and good job on being
so precautious.
Natalie
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ilovethebeach
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 48
Posted: 07-22-04 14:49pm
You posted this a month ago so im not sure
if ill be of any help but here goes
girls are typically more scared of sex
than guys (the guy isn't the one who has
the possibility of getting pregnant)
i think most girls wish they had waited to
have sex. I know I do. I guess its best
to wait as long as you possibly can lol.
Clinics typically wont tell your parents
if you get birth control pills. It's the
privacy thing. You just wil have to find
a way to pay for them without your parents
knowing.
Anyway, I doubt that helped but don't have
sex unless you're 120% positive you want
to. It's better the longer you wait.
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linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 07-22-04 15:43pm
I was 20. I had sex for the first time on
my wedding night with my husband and I
think that's the best way it can be done!
I know now that if I had had sex earlier,
I would have regretted it sooo much!
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
First Time Posted: 07-22-04 21:01pm
Well, there are many reasons to be
scared.First ,what you are doing is the
most private and intimate thing that can
happen between two people.Second,sex has
the potential to create life,an awesome
responsibility.It is not a recreational
sport,just something to do.If you are not
ready,you are not ready.If your boyfriend
does not understand that,then he is not
worthy of your virginity.If you are
afraid,listen to your inner voice.Do not
do anything you do not want to do.There is
only one first time and I wish I had been
more selective when I lost my
virginity.I'm sure you love your
boyfriend,but becoming sexually active may
not mean as much to him as it does to
you.Young men are very convincing when
they are trying to get into your pants.If
you still think you are ready,make sure
you use birth control and use it
consistently.Best of luck to you.Patty
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wakkochic17
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 494 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 07-23-04 08:37am
Waiting until your ready is the best thing
you can do. I always say if you are not
ready to face the possibilities of getting
pregnant or such, then don't go through
with it. If your boyfriend doesn't
understand why you would want to wait,
then he's not in the relationship for you
but for something else. I was almost 20
when I lost my virginity and I was glad I
waited. It was not the person I was
going to get married to (i'm still
unmarried 6 years later), but I was
mentally ready. It ruins the experience
anyway if you are scared or have any
doubts about it.
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Cassy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 103
Posted: 07-25-04 12:50pm
Well, I was 15 when I first had sex and it
was with my first (and only, so far)
boyfriend I ever had. Before we had sex I
was like you, mainly worried about getting
pregnant. And it was a good thing I was
because, though my boyfriend was try to be
as careful as possible he didn't realize
condoms expire and he had one that was
over 2 years past it's exp. Date. So
that why I find that me being responsible
for birth control is better then him.
He's very prtective of me and all but when
the situation is in my control I just feel
better.
Before you have sex you have to know what
sex means to you and how you personally
feel about it. And if that agrees with
the situation and you're safe and ok with
it then by all means enjoy it but be
careful.
Now that I think of it, my boyfriend never
ever pressured me to have sex with him but
he did kind of pressure me to get birth
contrrol other tehn condoms. And I kind
of wish i'd have seriously thought that
out because now, thoguh i'm glad that I
feel very safe with not getting pregnant I
did submit the both of us to a good 4
months of utter hell trying to get the
right form with the least side effects.
But he stood by me and helped all the way
and through it all we're still good
so....
I guess I drifted. But like everyone else
has said, make sure you're ready. Make
sure you're safe and make sure you really
want to have sex.
