Where do I begin. I use to be a happy
person in life and enjoyed every moment of
it, that was until my life took a turn
towards anxiety. My ex girlfriend who was
my first true love back in 1999. I
thought I was going to marry this girl.
After highschool I went on to play college
basketball and was away and on the road a
lot. She ended up cheating on me with
another guy, who she claimed they were
just friends in the begining; it was so
bad that I would call her the next day and
ask her what she did, and she would say
she went out with her friend and spent the
night over there, but don't worry she
slept on the couch, yeah right. Anyways I
didn't want to lose her so I let it pass.
Well we finally broke up cause I couldn't
take it anymore. This is when it all
started. Everytime I would see her after
the break up I would get really naseous
and I would say that for about 4 months I
would get so nauseous from seeing her that
I would throw up. As time went on it got
better but I would still get nauseous
around her. Not only that but the panic
attacks spread to everyday things, I think
I might have developed a little social
anxiety. Anyways 3 years past and I
thought I was going to be alone for the
rest of my life. One day I started
hanging out with my neighbor and
eventually we started dating, but
everytime I would have a panic attack I
would get really nauseous. I never did
throw up from it though. So as time went
on the panic attacks went away and I was
happy. Well just this past year we broke
up, but it wasn't a bad break up no
cheating or anything like that. Months
went by before I saw her again, and when I
would see her I would get really nauseous,
and this summer is the first time I have
seen her in a long time because she was
living near me. And everytime she would
come over I would start getting so nervous
or when I first saw her, I would get so
nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom
and throw up. Now that I have seen her
almost on a daily basis even though she
has a boyfriend, I don't get sick anymore
around her, allthough I avoid eating with
her because I am afraid that if I start
having a panic attack that the food
sitting on my stomach will only make it
worse. That was another thing, when I
first started dating amy (my neighbor) we
hardly went out to eat because I would
feel a panic attack come on everytime she
asked me to go, with time it was no
problem of course we went out to eat all
the time. I was never like that with
sandra (ex that cheated). So in the
relationship with amy I held back a lot
because I felt panic attacks come on or I
thought that if I do certain things I
would have a panic attack and get really
nauseous. This is the reason why I
haven't been on any dates since me and amy
broke up which has been about a year now,
because I am afraid that I am going to
have a panic attack. I don't know what to
do anymore. This panic attacks or anxiety
whatever it is is killing me and ruining
my life. I just want to know what in the
world is wrong with me? Does anyone have
an idea? I am 23 years old and I don't
want to waste my life away, I think
sometimes I am just a big worrier and that
cause me to get really naseous, because I
think about things too much. Now at this
point in my life I want nothing more than
to be with amy again, because I held back
a lot in our relationship I just want the
panic attacks to stop so I can give her my
all. I can't even fight for her now and
show her how much I still love her and
care for her because everytime I try to
panic attacks come on. Please give me all
the advice and help that you have for me;
I would greatly appreciate it.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 06-24-04 19:31pm
Have you spoken to your Dr. About this,
you might think about it as it could get
worse if you do not seek help, I also
understand that this c.B.T. Helps a lot
of people, it is like falling off a horse,
you have to get back on the horse, and
their are a lot of people that need help
with it. I hope this has helped!
Sincerely,
sandy
|
sassyhottie87
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jun 2004 Posts: 8
Try Counseling Posted: 06-26-04 19:07pm
I just thought that I would respond, I am
a new user on this website. I wanted to
suggest that maybe you go and talk to a
counselor, or medical doctor. I know how
you feel about feeling nervous, and sick
to your stomach over your past
relationships, that's why I think it would
help you to seek counseling,it isn't as
expensive as you might think. I am
currently going to counseling and have
been for the past year or so, they can
also maybe help you with an antidepressant
or something of that nature. I am taking
paxil cr, and it really seems to have
helped me. I know what you meant about
thinking about things too often or too
hard. I've been a housewife for the past
nine years, with no income, no career,
basically not too much of a life. I have
been married for 13 years, and have one
kid, and let me tell you, relationships
are extremely difficult to maintain,
because in any relationship, one person
can't do it alone. Hope this advice
helps, also, maybe talk with a pastor, and
say your prayers often.Good luck.
|
qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Posted: 06-30-04 13:23pm
Hi cia-
the answer for me was cbt. I was on meds
for many years before I found cbt and it
cured me and got me off meds in a
remarkably short period of time. Cbt is
not like other talk therapy. A good cbt
therapist does not care much about your
past or why you think you feel the way you
do etc. A good cbt therapist knows they
cannot change what's already happened to
you but they can help you change how you
deal with what happens in your life from
here on out. It's all about using the
tools to learn to think more clearly and
accurately about things and once you do
your anxiety, panic and depression will
miraculously begin to lift before your
eyes. My favorite starter book on cbt is
"been there, done that? Do this! By sam
obitz. Based on what I have seen with the
people I know who used cbt the more
dedicated you are to the tools the faster
and deeper the recovery regardless of how
bad their anxiety was when they got
started. Like anything in life the more
you put in the more you get out of cbt.
Hope this is helpful
q
|
Haley
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2004 Posts: 122
Posted: 07-08-04 06:39am
I always obsessed about my health and
death and other stuff that made no sense.
It got so bad that I eventually got panic
disorder. I recently finished my cbt
group and weaned off drugs and i'm feeling
great now. You owe it to yourself to give
cbt a try, it really works wonders fast
the two books we
used in my group are really good and I
would recommend them both highly: been
there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz
for anxiety and depression and mastery of
your anxiety and panic-third edition by
michelle craske and david barlow for panic
disorder.
|
panicbeast
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2004 Posts: 2 Location: virginia
Posted: 08-03-04 23:29pm
It sounds like you devoted everything in
your first relationship also it sounds
like your scared to love again listen I
have had my heart broke right in front of
me. I understand my advise is this dont
feel you have to rush into love be friends
first you dont have to open your heart
right away and dont regret the first one
you loved. Ive learned not to regret but
to see it has a learning experience and
thats with everything. Also we cant
forget that in relationships that there
are two sides. But theres not an excuse
to cheat but why would she go there in the
first place? Understand if you do have a
problem maybe smothering or being to
insecure or not giving enough attention
can chase a woman away. And maybe you
feel like you failed in the relationship
so now your afraid of failure to. But
your not the one who left she should have
just said look i'm done I want something
else.Your going to be ok just take your
time ok. And here is a little advice just
incase you dont know this but woman like
to be listen to understood and give them
there freedom hey givem girls night out as
long as she comes home to you see my
experience is they also like to look as
much as we do but thats has far has it
goes if you accuse then the thing is i'm
being blamed so why not. And they also
like to feel like they are figuring you
out so dont reveal everthing up front let
them keep figuring. This might help slow
your process down to help you cope.
Anyway this is only my opinion maybe this
will help and also( this doesnt go for all
woman).Just try to evaluate your
situation.And lord knows dont try to
figure them out this will only drive you
insane.They cant even make up there mind
has to what there going to wear with what
shoes. Anyway take it easy and slow .
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