Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 852 Location: grand blanc michigan
Sinking...... Posted: 07-04-04 19:32pm
I am so out of it. I feel miserable. I
just went to angies (my best friends
house) but I left early of course.. I
feel like I bring everyone down because I
just get in these depressed moods and feel
like crap. I dont even wanna be around
angie lately and shes my best friend of 14
years! Its just.. Shes alwyas with her
boyfriend and I feel like I can never
spend time with her unless hes there..
And seeing them all lovey dovey just
pisssses me off I think (im not jealous)
its just annoying. .And then I think 'y
does she alwyas get such wonderful guys..
And I get stuck with guys like my babys
father'.. And it makes me upset and
makes my mood so bad around her. .
Like I resent her for it and I know its
not fair. But I mean she cant be without
him for a freakin second! But everything
is bad lately. . I think too much.
The fact that ryan (the dad) hasnt called
me in over 2 months now.. Well thats
starting to really upset me being im due
any time now, and the fact that he was/is
so mean to me for no reason. .And we were
fine and on good terms when we broke up..
And he just treats me like im a peice of
sh*t..I hate him so much..And I hate that
I was so nieve to ever believe he was a
good person... And im getting so
depressed and I feel like maybe I cant do
this like I thought I could before.
Maybe I planned on it being a little
easier then its going to be....And I feel
so completely alone in all of this. When
I hang out with my friends.. Most the
time I just feel like the downer.. I
dont feel happy most the time anymore when
im out..I know ive heard this is normal.
.But I dont feel normal at all. On the
way home I just cried and listened to
music. Im so angry at myself, all the
choices ive made, and just the way my life
is. I know I cant complain, im going to
have a beautiful son.. Its just I cant
help how depressed im feeling.... Sorry
to vent...
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KariM1804
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 852 Location: grand blanc michigan
Posted: 07-05-04 10:17am
Sorry I know it was a long vent.. I was
really upset yesterday. .But things seem
a little smootherr today. Im just having
all these doubts. But lol I dont know if
anyone even took the time to read it but I
dont blame ya. Hopefully im just
overworrying. I just am feeling like
maybe I cant do this sometimes.
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bellax0x
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Posts: 3572 Location: Jersey Baby!
Posted: 07-05-04 11:12am
Im sure its hard, and will be hard. But
eventually youll look back and then look
at little garret and see how worth it it
was! Im glad today is going better.
Maybe you just had to cry and let it all
out, thats good for ppl once in a while,
ya know? Hope everything goes ok!
<3
gaby
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 07-05-04 12:03pm
Kari the way your feeling is only natural
sweetie. Soon you will have a little
person to look after and he will need you
so much.This is a huge responsibility for
anyone so the fact your thinking a lot
about the future is a natural thing. With
regards to your friend it seems that you
need her most now and feel she's not
around as much as she could be. Like she
has her boyfriend though you will soon
have someone new in your life who you will
too lavish all your attention on!
As soon as garrett is born things will
begin to even out for you & you will
become more clear about how your life's
going.I truly believe that god only gives
you what you can handle and your a lot
stronger then you think so I promise that
these are just natural concerns and soon
you will be able to put things into
perspective as soon as you have your son
:d
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KariM1804
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 852 Location: grand blanc michigan
Posted: 07-05-04 13:06pm
Thank you so much girls. It makes me feel
alot better. I just hate feeling out of
control and not knowing whats going to
happen. It scares me I gues. But I
believe god only gives u what u can handle
also and people's inner strength is beyond
their belief so I guess ijust got to keep
reminding myself of that! Thanks again!
Kair,
babe, it's normal. You are starting to
2nd guess everything because it's almost
time to pop out the lil one! Huni, you
are going to be a grewat mother and it is
very normal for you to feel the way you do
towards your friend. As long as you don't
let it harm your friendship. Sometimes I
wonder why my friend heather has such a
wonderful guy and I get the trash like
josh. I'll all be ok huni. Calm down.
Relax.!
Love ya,
chanda
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