My Friend Has An Ed And Maybe More Posted: 07-09-04 23:32pm
Hey thanks for takin the time...
My girlfriend came to my friend and I
saying she thinks she has an ed it looks
like she does..Were all only 13 and 14...
The other day she was asking me if I would
be mad if she started makin herself throw
up. I didn't want to tell her yes because
then she might hide it from me. We talked
about it for while but I dont think I
totally got through to her... I am still
really worried about her because she has
an ed and now might get worse... She said
she doesnt' want help because its nto
serious right now I told her if she did
start throwing up that it would be very
serious and that she would need help...
My friend and I dont know what to do
because we cant tell anyone.. We want to
tell someone but then we dont want to lose
our friendship with her and get pushed
away... I dont know what we can say to
get her to at least not start throwing
up.. I stay up at night searchign the
internet for info on bulimia and these
message boards like this tryign to find
something to do. Everything tells you to
just tell someone but they make it sound
alot easier than it really is. I dont kno
what I can do.
Thanks again
|
Julie25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2004 Posts: 25 Location: Teesside, UK
Posted: 07-10-04 15:46pm
You are right, it sounds much easier than
it is. The thing is with many
eating-disordered people, it is hard to
get through to us, because we believe so
firmly that we are fat and ugly and no
good, and that the solution is to starve
or throw up. You can tell your friend
that it will not help her lose weight;
tell her that she will become sick,
endanger her life, and, in the long run,
may even put on more weight (yup, it's
happened to people). Tell her that
bulimia is not a form of dieting. It's a
disease, a mental health problem, just
like depression, schizophrenia, or ocd,
for example. Maybe that might shock her.
But the most effective way to try and
discourage her from vomiting is to tell
her that it doesn't work. (i did lose
weight at first when I became bulimic, but
I put it back on again, even though I
threw up almost everything I ate!)because
after a while, your body starts burning
energy more slowly and tries to retain as
much food as possible, and you don't lose
weight anymore. So, you can tell her that
it's an illusion that she will be thin by
vomiting, in the long run. With starving
it's quite similar, and it's very very
dangerous. You said she is only 14. She
is still growing, and really needs
nutrients and a balanced diet. It would
help if you could convince her to see a
doctor, and tell him about it. If she
doesn't want to do that, she will not be
ready. But ask her what she doesn't like
about her body, and then try and make a
list with her of all the things she does
like about herself. That way, she may
realise that she is beautiful in her own
way, just like all of us. Tell her the
things you like about her. She needs to
feel good about herself, then she may feel
less like harming her body!
I know this is maybe not extremely
helpful, but it's a start. Remember,
there's a limited amount of things you can
do, so don't beat yourself up if she
doesn't take your advice. At the end of
the day, she is making a choice. But she
should know what she is doing to herself
before she makes that decision. It's
called making an informed choice. Good
luck!
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 07-13-04 22:53pm
I totally agree with the above.
I would add though that you also have to
live with yourself & if after doing
all that you can for your friend to give
her information & help & to try
& get her to see herself in a positive
way it isn't working then you need to talk
to someone.
If your friend refuses to "hear" &
keeps going down this self-destructive
path she may die & you should not have
to live with any guilt as a result of that
& so if she won't listen you need to
talk to someone so that 1) you can get
support & help for you & also
perhaps for her & 2) so that if she
does die you will always know that you did
all you could & so not suffer as
much.
|
HLFOLKNER
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2004 Posts: 29 Location: arkansas
Posted: 08-24-04 20:16pm
Let me tell you what my best friend did to
me. I was bulemic for 6 years. She told
me if I did not tell someone she would.
She would rather loose my friendship and
have me healthy that watch me die. That
was 10 years ago and we are still best
friends. Something like this is very
hard to put on your shoulders. I am an
adult and had trouble dealing with it.
She needs help. If she want do it for
herself do it for her. Once she start it
takes a long time to heal. After I got
help it took me 2 or 3 years to get over
the disorders.
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