It's a long story, and quite honestly...I
don't even feel like talking about it.
So, i'll just say that I told justin and
and stupid health forum, dottie to f*ck
off last night because they lied to me.
Dottie, I could understand...But not
justin. He was my best friend for 6
years. So, here I am....Alone, with no
friends and no one to talk to. I can't
even try to meet new friends without
getting health forum at by someone...So
i'm giving up and saying screw it. I'm
not going to talk to anyone. Just when I
start trusting someone, they stab me in
the back...Always. That's how it always
is for me. I'm just going to be one of
those losers that people make fun of who
stay in their house all day and don't
socialize with the rest of the world. One
of those people that you see every once in
a while, but don't know anything
about....A shut in. I can't even make
friends. There's so much caca that has
been said, that no one ever believe me
about anything in the first place..So why
even try. Screw everything, i'm tired of
it. I'm tired of this screwed up life
that I have. Why me? Why do I have to be
in so much pain? I wish for just 1 minute
that the rest of the world could feel the
amount of pain that I feel each and every
day...I bet most of them couldn't handle
it. There's so much more, but I just
can't type it all and i'm not even going
to try...
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mommabear16
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 1222 Location: illinois
Posted: 07-11-04 18:14pm
Ugh, babe I know how it phucking
is.....make love to the world! And
everyone in it.....We should move in
together...Ethan is only one day older
than alexander!
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-11-04 18:46pm
Hun I am the same as you!! I .N.E.V.E.R.
Go out anymore all I do is stay at home..I
have maybe 2 friends thats it. I hate
going out I feel liek everyone is looking
at me. I havent had a "real" bestfriend
since like grade 8!! I use to have tons
of friends but only 2 now. It blows I
want to make more friends but I am sooooo
shy...I hate meeting new people...The
people I know all make fun of me cuz im
fat...I hate it so much.. I was just
thinking last about this last nite I have
totally messed up my chances of getting in
the hair dressing school so now I have
another 2 years of school..I need a job
and im the only one that can get me a job
but I am so shy and I hate going out so
its like immposiable(sp?) to get a job. I
hate being a loser it doing it sux. I
wish I was one of those skinney popural
girls but im not and I never will be...I
hate my life so much I cant even explain
it... Honeslty I would be better off
dead.. I know this isnt good but when im
in a car I wish that we would get in an
acciedent so I could die but I dont want
the other people to die. I have tried
many times to kill myself but now im too
chicken sh*t to do it.. If you ever need
someone to talk to hun im always here!!!
.Alison xoxo
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cherry_pie
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 599
Posted: 07-11-04 19:27pm
Hey crystal, we haven't really said
anything to each other before, but when I
read your post I thought I would reply to
it.
Its not much different with me, than it is
with you. I can't keep friends because
sooner or later I find out something that
they've done to lose my trust in them, or
even hate them all together. I used to
have so many friends that I was never
home!! Then one by one the all started
dropping off out of my life, and to this
day I can't even really be sure why they
wouldn't want to not be my friend.
Now about 90% of the time I sit here at
home, and do nothing. Sometimes it really
makes me depressed to think about what I
once had, and how happy I was. And now im
like this. The only thing I can do though
is to keep my head high, and realize that
sooner (maybe later) things will get
better.
At our age friends play a huge part in our
lives. But if you think about it, we're
getting to the point where we need to
think about our careers and what we want
to do for the rest of our lives. Once
this gets going, everyone is guaranteed to
not have as much time on their hands for
the same people. While we'll be learning
how to support ourselves (and in your case
your little guy as well) friends won't
have that big of a part in our daily
lives. But once you start a job, you most
likely will even make a lot of new ones as
well!! And they'll be harder to get rid
of, because you'll have no choice but to
be around them all the time.
As for me, I realize that things will not
get that much better for me, as I live in
a small city (16,000 people) so I have
come to the conclusion that I will be
moving sometime in the new year. This way
I look at it as starting my life all over
again. And maybe not repeat the mistakes
ive made here. I don't know if that
option is possible for you, but its
definitely something that could make you
happier.
All in all im sorry for what has happened
to you. And that situation with justin
(whatever it may be). Its men like him
that make a bad name for all the rest of
them. But remember, he's just one out of
many guys in the world. The one that will
have respect for you and will treat you
and your son the way you deserve to be
treated is somewhere out there. So never
say your going to give up, you just have
to keep your eyes open, and your thoughts
optimistic.
You are a very beautiful woman, a
wonderful mother im sure.. And have lots
going for you. If the people around you
can't see that, then they don't deserve to
be called your friends. Remember though
-- you always have the girls here at the
forum. I think its safe to say "friends
through thick and thin."
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 07-11-04 22:30pm
Thanx. I love you guys. I really wished
we all lived in the same neighborhood.
Wouldn't that be something tho?? Haha. A
whole neigborhood of teen mothers and
pregnant teens. Wow...We could be like
preggyville, with streets called 1st
trimester lane and a cafe called moodswing
lounge. Lol...What a great time that
would be.
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cherry_pie
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 599
Posted: 07-11-04 23:26pm
:d good idea. But you'd have to let me in
(and the others) that aren't pregnant!!
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Scarf
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Feb 2004 Posts: 1062 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posted: 07-12-04 00:10am
Aww:( im sorry things are not going too
good for any of you! All of you move to
ottawa! I'll be a good friend *promise*
and we'd have tons of fun! Hehe
shannon xoxox
i hope everything gets better
Awe! Hun. I totally know how you feel.
I have a group of friends now, but it
wasn't always like this. I know what it's
like to hurt and want and stuff. But you
are beautiful and you have a wonderful son
and a great future honey! I love you.
Chanda
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-12-04 01:58am
Girls, don't let it get you down!
The truth is the nice, intelligent people
are the ones who get crapped on. I know
exactly how you feel. I give and give to
my friends and get nothing back. Not
even honesty and trust.
I just recently (within the last year) got
rid of almost all of my friends and
started over. I am talking girls I have
been friends with for thirteen years.
But, I just could not take the crap
anymore.
I still have my best friend whom I have
only known two years. But she lives five
states away. I have my best friend from
high school, but she is moving next month.
Then I have a couple of other girls that
I hang out with, but I don't really trust
people.
Just know that you are better than the
people who crap on you. They only treat
you that way, and make up crap about you
because they are jealous. Jealous that
you are beautiful inside and out, fun,
intelligent and just plain great. And
they aren't.
I would say 90% of people in this world,
if not more, are pieces of crap. It is
hard to find that other ten percent.
But, don't give up!
Honey, if you are really depressed have
you considered getting on antidepressants?
I mean, even just for a little while?
I have to take them. Well, I don't have
to, but I tell you what I feel so much
better when I do. The pain I feel when I
don't I would not wish on my worst enemy.
It is an awful thing.
Keep your head up!
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