Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Ok Am I Wrong? Posted: 07-13-04 11:00am
Ok I found out yesterday than an old
friend of mine was shot and killed. My
friend called me and he was crying and I
was going grocery shopping and I was like
oh. And hes like juan got shot fool! And
im like ok, is he ok? And he said no hes
dead. And I was like oh. And I was
quiet. And he was like hello im not
playing. And I said ok I heard you but I
mean thats it? Where, how what happened?
And he was like I dont know! And I said
ok well let me find out and ill call you
later. So I told my mom and she was real
sad about it and stuff, cuz she knew him
too. And I felt like numb. Like no
sadness and I felt real mad at myself
because I had no feeling towards it. I
mean shouldnt I feel real bad? He was my
close friend at one time. And I dont feel
like crying, I dont feel anything. I dont
know why. I prayed for him and his family
but I dont know what to say. All I know
was he was in a bad area (where they
lived) and I guess some guys did a drive
by. I want to go to the service and stuff
and pay my respects but I still feel wrong
to have no emotion. Is it my hormones?
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 1970 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 07-13-04 11:06am
It could be hormones, it could be that you
are just in shock (and dont realize it)
and just dont know how to react, or maybe
if you havent seen or talked to him in a
long time, and he is a part of your old
life that you dont care much about (not
saying you dont care about him)... Maybe
its a mix of all these things....
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 07-13-04 11:14am
I hope so because I havent seen him or his
family in forever. And I dont know I jst
dont feel anything at all. Its so weird.
He was young too I feel bad for him for
going young. He was only 23. But maybe
its better so he can be at peace now
instead of living like he did getting
drunk all the time and in fights.
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 1970 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 07-13-04 11:19am
Hes in a better place now... And its
better for you not to get too upset about
it cuz when your upset, baby gets upset
too.
It's not your fault it could be that you
are in shock like lilmama2b said. It's
real sad but all you can do is pray for
the best, and like you said you haven't
seen him in like forever so maybe it has
not really sink in yet. Sorry to hear
about your friend.
Wow. Shock is what it is nikki. My
sister was missing for 24 days. I might
have cried 2 times that whole time! She
was found dead, I cried a lil bit. It
wasn't until her actual funeral and such
that I cried and cried. You might just be
in shock. I am truly sorry for what
happened hun.
Love,
chanda
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mommabear16
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 1222 Location: illinois
Posted: 07-13-04 14:15pm
Yeah, it must be shock.....It could be
shock.
Me, I really have no emotions at
all...Like if someone dies in my family I
just kinda am like okay...That
sucks...Maybe it's because that person
wasnt too close to me or something. But
like when I heard an old family friend got
hit by a car awhile back ago I didnt' cry
at all. It was weird. He was my age and
he was dead. I didn't even feel like
going to the funeral. I really don't have
emotions for anything anymore. So I don't
really know what to tell you.....
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 07-13-04 14:20pm
I cried a bit when I read his article.
And my mom is having us put in donations
for his funeral. I feel so bad now. He
was a great guy and always fixed my
breaks! Lol
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-13-04 15:28pm
Nikki a couple people from my family have
died.. But I wasnt really close to them
so I didnt cry. Once you realzie(sp?)
that he is dead it will hit you...
I know this doesnt have to do with a
person but my cat jake has been missing
for a week now i'm
still in shock..I am upset and I do cry
about it but I dont cry in front of my mom
and she thinks that I dont care that he is
missing!! Of course I do hes our baby
boy!! Like im not stupid and im 99% sure
hes dead I feel
like its my fault cuz I took charlie for a
walk and jake followed us.. So if I didnt
take him for that walk he would still be
alive...I dunno I really miss him and so
does charlie and miko...And my mom said we
arent gonna get another cat! like its werid just
having one cat. Hopfully she says yes
later on about getting one...I hope we do
but I wish that jake would come
home!!!!!!!!
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bd1012
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 1998
Posted: 07-13-04 19:07pm
I get that way sometimes. I didn't cry
at my grandpa's funeral and felt really
bad about it and I lived with him and I
don't know what it is. I feel so numb
sometimes. I mean, sometimes I really
have to shove it in my brain about 20
times to get some feeling. Maybe it's my
hormones. This may sound crazy, but I
think I have higher levels of
testosterone, than I do estrogen. Can
hypothyroidism do that? I haven't been
taking my meds like I should, hmm.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-13-04 19:48pm
Some people just don't show feelings like
others. When my boyfriend shot himself
(8 years ago) I cried for maybe like five
minutes. I cried at the funeral, but
mainly because there were like three
hundred people there and they were all
crying. So, I cried because they cried.
He was cremated (sp?) so I never say the
body.
To this day, I may have cried a total of
30 minutes over it. Yeah, it is awful.
I used to feel bad that I didn't feel
worse. Now, I just think that my mind is
protecting itself. If I actually faced
the reality of it I probably would have
gone crazy.
I dream about him quite a lot. In my
dreams I am crying and I feel the pain.
But when I am awake, for some reason I
just don't feel it. Sometimes I wish I
would. I feel like I am somehow blocking
the pain out and if I don't deal with it
then one of these days it will come and
bite me in the ass.
But, anyway, my point is....Don't be so
hard on yourself. When reality sets in
you will feel it. But, if they do have a
funeral it would be best for you to go.
You know, for closure. I still need
closure, but I don't know how to get it.
i'm
still in shock..I am upset and I do cry
about it but I dont cry in front of my mom
and she thinks that I dont care that he is
missing!! Of course I do hes our baby
boy!! Like im not stupid and im 99% sure
hes dead 
like its werid just
having one cat. Hopfully she says yes
later on about getting one...I hope we do
but I wish that jake would come
home!!!!!!!!