I have no ideal what is wrong with me ever
since i've had my child 2 1/2 years ago,
i'm not interested in sex, it does cause
problems with my boyfriend we've been
togther for 2 years now and I can count
how many times we've had sex on my hands.
I thought this was the peaking point for
girls my age. I have no desire no
nothing, its killing me and I want to make
my boyfriend happy so for he has been
understanding.
I'm on the depo shot for birth control
could that be it?
Is there anything out there to help?
What is wrong with me. Before my child
everything was fine.
And theres never been any 4-play ever in
my relationship with my boyfriend, I just
dont want too. Help I have a huge
problem!
|
Jamie2006
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jul 2004 Posts: 27
Posted: 07-13-04 16:55pm
You can see your doc and have your
testostorone levels checked. Also I have
been on some bc that has zapped my sex
drive the depo could be doing it. Stop
taking the depo. Use condoms instead see
if this helps. If not maybe you should
see you the doc. Do you ever feel sexy?
Do you get dressed up to go out and feel
hot? Do you have sexy underwear you put
on that makes you feel like a little sex
pot? Do you get turned on when you
masterbate or fantasize? Maybe you just
need to learn how to feel sexy again.
Maybe you need your bf to romance you more
or to take more time to turn you on. As a
relationship progresses it is not uncommon
to not get as excited over your lover as
you use to. Only because it is less
exciting as it use to be when you didn't
know what to expect. Thus he may need to
put more time into getting you going. He
could even start early morning by telling
you how sexy you are. Leaving you sexy
notes around the house saying how much he
wants you. Leaving you I love you
voicemails. Once you guys are together at
night he could start off by giving you a
massage or by tickling your bag. Maybe
you guys could take a bath with candles.Do
something that makes you feel close to
him. Who knows, for women being turned on
is so much more dependent on emotional
feeling more that physical feelings maybe
you just need to remember how to feel sexy
and totally in love with your bf agian.
If none of this works see a doc you could
have some hormonal problems and that is
easy to diagnose and fix.
|
StarLynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Ohio
Thanks Posted: 07-14-04 08:47am
Thanks, i've really never thought about
myself feeling sexy, I do feel hot when
i'm getting ready to go out. Its weird
between bf-n-me I really never like to
show my body we started dated when I was
preg. So I didnt feel hot then at all.
But i'm back to where I was before I had
the babe.
I think I do need to get some tests done
and start feeling sexy for myself. Thanks
again.
|
PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Starlynn Posted: 07-14-04 09:21am
A visit to your gyn is a good place to
start,but no foreplay?Trying to have sex
with no foreplay does not help!Foreplay
starts way before you get to bed.I'm not
just talking about groping and kissing.A
little kindness goes a long way to fire up
a woman's passion.It's not always about
sex,but, can show up in the bedroom when
there are feelings of resentment in a
relationship.Also,you've got a
toddler-that's a full time job!If you are
tired and stressed out,that will zap your
libido also.Have him give you a hand in
getting the little one ready for bed,he
might just find out that you're ready too!
|
StarLynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Ohio
Pattyv Posted: 07-14-04 12:06pm
Yeah, I have my son to take care of plus a
full time job and school part time. I
have so much to do by the time I reach the
bed i'm out!
I didnt know if there are any meds to take
i've heard of a couple.
I dont know how to come on to my bf, and
4-play I dont even know where to
start.....
I feel like i've lost my touch i'm out of
the sex life with having this baby, I dont
know if i'm embrassed to do something out
of the orgnial with bf or if I just dont
know what i'm doing.
I guess I have two problems, one-no
sexdive two-out of touch with sex
i'm not sure how to start being different
and start being sexy
|
NYGUY
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 07-14-04 13:48pm
Foreplay does not start... It never ends!
Making my girl breakfast in bed and
helping her with chores is foreplay.
Opening doors for her and standing when
she walks over to the table in a nice
restaurant is foreplay. Looking at her as
if she is the only woman in the world is
foreplay. In the bedroom, its just a bit
more direct. Most men think foreplay is
some deep kissing and petting and then go
straight for the gold. Makes me ashamed
of my fellow men when I realize how little
they know about women. I suspect that you
need a bit more attention from your
boyfriend in terms of getting you in the
mood.
|
StarLynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Ohio
He Is Good to Me Posted: 07-14-04 13:55pm
He is super good to me for not getting
booty as much as he would like...
I think maybe I do need more attention
getting into bed. But I dont know how to
go about getting it started. I'm ashamed.
|
NYGUY
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 07-14-04 14:29pm
What exactly are you ashamed of? I'm sure
everyone here would love to help you but
we need to know what you are getting hung
up on. Also I have heard of women feeling
uncomfortable with sex after having
children. Something to do with being a
mother and feeling that its wrong to have
sex. Could it be that you somehow feel
that taking time for yourself would
somehow be detracting you from caring for
your child?
|
StarLynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Ohio
I Dont Know Posted: 07-14-04 15:32pm
I'm not sure what it is.....
I'm a different person now having the
babe, and since I meant this guy when I
was preg. I wasent crazy into sex being
preg. And after the baby it never came
back. I see myself getting crazy and
making love but I just cant do it. I
think since maybe are relationship didnt
start out like they usually do for me. I
dont know how to get to that point now
after being with him for so long. I'm
sorry its hard for me to explain. I'm
very thankful for your inputs but I cant
explain it myself.
I know the baby has something to do with
me not feeling right too. I use him for
excuse all the time so I dont have to have
sex.
Maybe I just have a mental issue with sex.
I feel crazy.
|
PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 07-14-04 19:19pm
Don't feel crazy !You have a lot
going on in your life,you said so
yourself.You work,student,child to
raise-and you're supposed to be 24/7sex
goddess also??Look,after awhile,things
cool down in a realtionship.I was very sad
to have this happen in my marriage
also.However,it has been replaced by
feeling of knowing he'll be there no
matter what.We don't have sex 2-3 times a
day anymore,but we enjoy each other when
we do make love.Granted we're older than
you are,but I think any relationship has a
decrease in sex after a while.I think sex
is the glue that brings you together,but
after it's all said and done,you still
need to be able to talk to each other.It
would be pretty crazy if the only thing
you had in common was a roll in the
hay.Granted those type of relationships
are not all bad,they just don't last!!
go have a complete
physical and see what's up.Good
luck!!Pattyv
!You have a lot
going on in your life,you said so
yourself.You work,student,child to
raise-and you're supposed to be 24/7sex
goddess also??Look,after awhile,things
cool down in a realtionship.I was very sad
to have this happen in my marriage
also.However,it has been replaced by
feeling of knowing he'll be there no
matter what.We don't have sex 2-3 times a
day anymore,but we enjoy each other when
we do make love.Granted we're older than
you are,but I think any relationship has a
decrease in sex after a while.I think sex
is the glue that brings you together,but
after it's all said and done,you still
need to be able to talk to each other.It
would be pretty crazy if the only thing
you had in common was a roll in the
hay.Granted those type of relationships
are not all bad,they just don't last!!
go have a complete
physical and see what's up.Good
luck!!Pattyv