I think the pain just goes along with the
whole experience. However lubrication is
crucial when doing this, or it could hurt
a whole lot more! It also matters on the
position you do it in that could effect
how much more pain she feels. I searched
and found this:
positions
for most anal sex, there are a few
positions which make it easier to access
the butt. These generally apply to
analingus, actual anal sex, or even using
fingers...Though with fingers almost any
sexual position might work, if both
parties enjoy it.
The most basic is for your lover to be on
their back, legs spread and/or knees
pulled up. Put a pillow or two under
their butt...This is a big help that's
easily overlooked. In one way this is the
most awkward of the positions, but it can
be the easiest for your lover.
Another is for your lover to be on elbows
and knees, as for doggie style sex. This
is easier for access, but it also tends to
require your lover to tighten their butt
muscles a bit. This may work better if
your lover has some support under their
chest/belly to lean on, so they can relax
more, and possibly even so they can lean
forward a little, extending their legs out
and to the side behind them, which might
put things at an easier angle for access.
A third position is for them to be on
their side. Their legs need to be in a
scissors position, perhaps the upper one
extended in front of them and the other
straight "down" (as if they were
standing), else the upper leg drawn up
toward the chest or straight upward (bent,
either way), and the lower leg in whatever
position is comfortable.
Cleanliness
as always, this matters more to some
people than others, but in this case it's
a more popular issue than with just about
any other kind of sex, for obvious
reasons. First, having bathed more
recently than the last bm is a good idea.
It's a good idea to have a bowel movement
an hour or so before, to ensure that
nothing is encountered during any
penetration (unless you're into that, I
suppose), and then bathe the area.
Other than basic cleaning like that,
oil-based lubricants are a great insulator
for anal contact. They tend to cover up
any potential (or simply feared) smell and
transfer of icky stuff. If you use
vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds
are that a simple wiping off with a dry
cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever
seeming to be just about perfectly clean.
Again, this may not matter to some people,
but it's worth mention because it is
crucial to others.
To some people, enemas may seem like
overkill, or even to be grosser than not
having one before anal sex anyway. But
they certainly do bear mention, in case
this sounds like a good idea to you
(feeling comfortable with things like
cleanliness are potentially very
important). This is especially worth
considering in actual penis penetration,
since one gets a lot deeper than even the
most dilligent bathing process is going to
be able to clean. But it is still not a
really common practice, even for actual
penetration. Of course a few people even
find enemas to be sexually exciting
themselves.
Lubrication
with anal sex of any kind, lubrication is
worth seriously considering. And
oil-based lubricants tend to work better,
because of the treater pressure/texture
involved. Drying out like water-based
lubricants do is a more serious problem
than with other kinds of sex. Bear in
mind, of course, that oil-based lubricants
are a threat to a latex condom, which will
be damaged by it. That aside, vaseline is
the best, in the case of anal sex, because
it will stay in place and lubricate much
more determinedly than thinner lubricants,
and yet not provide its own resistence
like thicker ones will. Cocoa butter
would be my #2 suggestion. Some kinds of
massage oil can work well. Baby oil and
other similarly thin substances are way
down on the list, as the lubrication they
provide is rather weak/watery, for oils.
That's all for the basics...Except that I
will address the whole thing from the
ground up, dedicating much more time to
"how to get started" in this article than
in the cunnilingus and fellatio articles.
The reasons for this include the fact that
this can be far more painful if done
wrong, the fact that it's more taboo and
thus worrisome to some people, and the
fact that it's rarer...Even thinking in
detail about it is rarer...And thus more
people are more likely to need to go over
the basics. Oh, and the basics can be
much more complicated, too. A penis in a
mouth or a licking of a clitoris is a lot
easier to get started in an "acceptable"
way than a painless penetration of an
anus.
I hope this helped some!
